I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.
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Bluelight
Shrine
A memorial
to Bluelighters
who have passed away
Rip Brother. really hope you found that peace and happiness we're all looking for.
RIP Cap, wish i knew you better, you will be missed nevertheless.
I remember captain heroin and he assisted me as well. While deep in my injection abuse. I am sorry for the lose of this person as he and his knowledge as well as compassion may have saved many. I know he definitely had a sense of humor and a kindness needed and lacking in this world. Blessings
Damn.. RIP Captain Heroin.. well this just bummed me out =/
I believe he was suicidal, deeply so.
I don't believe he knowingly meant to die on this particular occasion. Dying like this, it just doesn't seem like his style.
But he knew he was being reckless with drugs and that one of these times might be the one. Many of us expressed that concern to him.
This wasn't a suicide, it was an overdose death through suicidal indifference to continued living.
He wasn't openly using heroin in the last few months I was talking to him on a regular basis. I used to tell him he was a crappy captain of heroin, that he should be demoted to private heroin and I should get the rank of captain since I was using at the time.
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I'm so sorry man.
If you ever need someone to talk to, know that I'm always prepared to listen, if I can help in any way don't hesitate to ask.
I actually had a little cry this morning. Why does life have to do this kind of shit?
I would call that a suicide. Nobody who wants to live is so actively indifferent to the hazards of the drugs they take,
Cap was a smart dude. And from what the playground rumors say, it looks like it wasn't a case of some street dope cut with too much fentanyl or whatever.
This thread feels different to read now... bittersweet.
I would call that a suicide. Nobody who wants to live is so actively indifferent to the hazards of the drugs they take,
Cap was a smart dude. And from what the playground rumors say, it looks like it wasn't a case of some street dope cut with too much fentanyl or whatever.
This thread feels different to read now... bittersweet.
He was heavy into RC opioids and IV RC benzos.
Call it what you will, I only mean that I don't think he meant to die then and there. But he was definitely suicidal and acting in ways that he knew could kill him one of these times.
Please look after yourselves everyone. It's very easy in this type of situation to find yourself in your worst state or using more substances than normal. Grief can make it much harder to identify such a thing. If his death has impacted you and you do feel terrible seek help. It's normal to feel bad loosing a friend but the last thing that will help is getting yourself into a worse addiction or routine if that is something you struggle with. Especially if you use some of the types of substances mentioned in this thread.
Thank you for saying this. It very much needed to be said.
The events of the last couple days (I think? My perception of time is messed up at the moment) have already highly compromised my recovery and I suspect I'm not alone.
Take care everyone. We've lost way too many good people.
Shit CH i am so sorry xx
Capt. Was one of the first people that reached out to me, when I cam here a few years ago! I must admit hat he Scared Me! I am an older parent to young child, who has been Sober for awhile, but needed to know what the Drug world was like now?? I come from an era of Weed, Booze and Cocaine. The Capt was totally helpful, even at first I felt that it was a little in my face. But I must pray for him and his family for all the information and Knowledge of the current drug world he shared and directed me through .
I feel broken, because I have a background in crisis management, and suicide prevention , and I kept reading his post on one page that where Dark, then see him helping on other pages in such a huge way?
RIP - Love Ice
Thank you
I feel broken, because I have a background in crisis management, and suicide prevention , and I kept reading his post on one page that where Dark, then see him helping on other pages in such a huge way?
RIP - Love Ice
Thank you
This is just too fucking unbelievable. And yet, its not. I lurk more than I post, but every night I log on to see what shenanigans everyone is up to. This place is like no other. I try to explain to people the wealth of knowledge, the harm reduction and the things I have learned about myself from BL. But, if you aren't an addict, then you're looked at sideways. BL has given me comfort and laughter on many a lonely night. I read most of what CH posted. He could come across a bit menacing?! But I always appreciated his honesty because there is so much bullshit out here. I lost Stargazer, who became a moderator right before she OD'd. I think I am just in shock right now, as this news is what I literally saw first upon logging on. What an absolute loss and my sympathy goes out to his friends and family. I also lost my partner of 20 years to a heroin OD, already 5 years ago. It does not get easier. Not for me anyway. Its like a fucking rollercoaster. FUCK!!!! We play too hard, y'all. RIP, CH
RIP, CH
This is just too fucking unbelievable. And yet, its not. I lurk more than I post, but every night I log on to see what shenanigans everyone is up to. This place is like no other. I try to explain to people the wealth of knowledge, the harm reduction and the things I have learned about myself from BL. But, if you aren't an addict, then you're looked at sideways. BL has given me comfort and laughter on many a lonely night. I read most of what CH posted. He could come across a bit menacing?! But I always appreciated his honesty because there is so much bullshit out here. I lost Stargazer, who became a moderator right before she OD'd. I think I am just in shock right now, as this news is what I literally saw first upon logging on. What an absolute loss and my sympathy goes out to his friends and family. I also lost my partner of 20 years to a heroin OD, already 5 years ago. It does not get easier. Not for me anyway. Its like a fucking rollercoaster. FUCK!!!! We play too hard, y'all.
Cap was extremely confident in his beliefs. I wouldn't say menacing at all. Just intense.
Take care man, this has been a brutal loss. I hope you have some support system to fall back on.
Everyone could use one right now.
He was menacing. Unafraid. Undeterred and fierce. He had so much life it was spilling out. Death is the road to awe. I know very well you were unafraid and awaited.
He knew. I knew. Through his music. He was ready to go back from where he came. It makes sense to me now. The random noise. Awe.
This news absolutely breaks my heart. We spent years together in SL. You had even invited me to stay at your house. I know you were sad for so long. I hope that you have finally found peace and happiness my friend
I never knew the man, and don't recall even posting in any of his threads, but it is deeply saddening to hear about this. To everyone who knew him on a more personal level, I cannot and will not even pretend to know how painful this is for all of you, but I hope you find at least some solace in good memories. From the stuff I have read on here that he wrote, he definitely cared deeply for this community, and he was brutally honest about the ups and downs of addiction... Even though I never knew you - rest easy, brother.