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I'm going home

cherub

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 24, 2000
Messages
4,042
Location
Mountian Child
It finally hit me today,, I'm going home

In my mind I have already pictured walking off that plane
At first i laugh cause I know my bestfriend won't recognize me
not even with the pictures i have sent.

Then it hits me I still circle in my mind was it
fear or happiness?
The tears flow I start to shake
I am going home

Almost 6yrs since since I have seen my fathers grave
sat and talked by his headstone

Almost 6 yrs since i picked up kiki and twirled him around
singing "oh kiki your so fine your so fine you blow my mind
hey Kiki" she tells me he is as tall as me

Almost six years since i hugged my bestfriend
sat and smoked and talked about live.

Almost six years since i have seen my boys
They were never my blood but always in my heart
now Brian is grown and applying for college
Matthew is in junior high school
I remember telling him goodbye
and he asked me not to "please mom, dad needs you"

Saying goodbye to their dad was the hardest
12 yrs of causing me some of the most joy
and pain in my life, who knew it would be the last goodbye.
He was always apart of my soul

So, I guess i am going home to say goodbye once again
maybe I will have a better understanding of how to close this chapter
Maybe it will only raise more questions
time will tell no lies

But i am going home to say goodbye again
So i need to chin up, Dry my tears and smile
I am sure their will time for more tears later
but I am going home.........
 
time changes so many things, doesn't it?
and at the same time, some things never change.
 
cindi, i read this the other day but i didn't have time to coment just then. I wish i knew more about what was going on in your life. Change is good sometimes, you know that. Please know that i am just a phone call away. We actually got a new home number so please e-mail me and i will give it to you.

I miss you momma.
 
Closure is soothing to the soul. Through the bad times and painful memories you have endured and prospered. Best of luck on your journey. While you have the painful memories that live with you day to day, use the time to create positive and impacting memories.

Take care!
 
OMFG,,,, ^^^^^^^^^ you may not know it,,, but apart of who i am now you had a hand in. Life is not always easy but you gave me some great fun memories in my life.
especially my last night in palm beach,, i was just talking about it to a friend of mine the other day,,,,,,, dayum would you two ever go to sleep!!!!!! ;)
 
Loads and loads of love and hugs sweetie!! If there's anything that we can do...let us know!! :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
You often write that you can see the strength in other people... I hope you can see it in yourself as well. Reading this made me anxious for you [and in my mind that's a sign of good writing]. Good luck. :)
 
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