cherub
Bluelighter
It finally hit me today,, I'm going home
In my mind I have already pictured walking off that plane
At first i laugh cause I know my bestfriend won't recognize me
not even with the pictures i have sent.
Then it hits me I still circle in my mind was it
fear or happiness?
The tears flow I start to shake
I am going home
Almost 6yrs since since I have seen my fathers grave
sat and talked by his headstone
Almost 6 yrs since i picked up kiki and twirled him around
singing "oh kiki your so fine your so fine you blow my mind
hey Kiki" she tells me he is as tall as me
Almost six years since i hugged my bestfriend
sat and smoked and talked about live.
Almost six years since i have seen my boys
They were never my blood but always in my heart
now Brian is grown and applying for college
Matthew is in junior high school
I remember telling him goodbye
and he asked me not to "please mom, dad needs you"
Saying goodbye to their dad was the hardest
12 yrs of causing me some of the most joy
and pain in my life, who knew it would be the last goodbye.
He was always apart of my soul
So, I guess i am going home to say goodbye once again
maybe I will have a better understanding of how to close this chapter
Maybe it will only raise more questions
time will tell no lies
But i am going home to say goodbye again
So i need to chin up, Dry my tears and smile
I am sure their will time for more tears later
but I am going home.........
In my mind I have already pictured walking off that plane
At first i laugh cause I know my bestfriend won't recognize me
not even with the pictures i have sent.
Then it hits me I still circle in my mind was it
fear or happiness?
The tears flow I start to shake
I am going home
Almost 6yrs since since I have seen my fathers grave
sat and talked by his headstone
Almost 6 yrs since i picked up kiki and twirled him around
singing "oh kiki your so fine your so fine you blow my mind
hey Kiki" she tells me he is as tall as me
Almost six years since i hugged my bestfriend
sat and smoked and talked about live.
Almost six years since i have seen my boys
They were never my blood but always in my heart
now Brian is grown and applying for college
Matthew is in junior high school
I remember telling him goodbye
and he asked me not to "please mom, dad needs you"
Saying goodbye to their dad was the hardest
12 yrs of causing me some of the most joy
and pain in my life, who knew it would be the last goodbye.
He was always apart of my soul
So, I guess i am going home to say goodbye once again
maybe I will have a better understanding of how to close this chapter
Maybe it will only raise more questions
time will tell no lies
But i am going home to say goodbye again
So i need to chin up, Dry my tears and smile
I am sure their will time for more tears later
but I am going home.........
