LOL. "The Streets" are also full of undercover narc agents. With my luck I'd end up behind bars for attempting to purchase illegal substances. It blows me away how almost any high school kid can get access to any street drug, but a straight laced white collar guy like me would be busted on the first try.
I don't do well talking, chanting, stretching, or meditating away my anxiety. My anxiety is a beast and nothing can calm him except high doses of potent meds. I wish it weren't that way, but alas that is my cross to bear.
SSRIs are obscenely nasty. While on Prozac I would do nothing but lie in bed all day staring at the ceiling with no ambition to do anything -- not even eat. Bleh!
I would suggest either asking the doctor about vicoden/lortab (same thing) or going to your local methadone clinic. a lot of people will surely say the second idea is a bad one, but i'm sure you can ask for a lower dose than usual (ie 5mg) and just say your a recovering addict (have been clean 1 month or so; say this to explain your intake urine not having opiate) but you feel like your going to relapse and have heard methadone helps with the cravings. just get the 5mg methadone dose and split it into 2 doses; take one dose every day. after 3 months or so start taking the full dose. the benefit of this idea will be that while you will have to go to the clinic every day, starting out, you will be able to get takehome doses after not too long, and will be able to get your dose increased when you start to have a tolerance with not much bullshit. after 3 months you should only have to go 3 times a week, 6 months twice a week, then after a year you should be able to only go once a week, maybe even once every other week. just be aware that your tolerance will increase. and as long as your dose is under 30mg ( a monster dose for somebody whose never done opiates long term, should take you YEARS to get to that dose using responsibly) you won't have much of a detox. a third option would be a pain clinic to get lortab/vicoden so PM me if you want help finding one.
