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TDS Ideation & Crisis Support

Robi said:
no, please think things thru, you dont want more pain, im glad you are expressing your thoughts and feelings, i get your pain, i really do, but more importantly talk to someone you feel safe with , w/o judgement.
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I have no real hope of recovering 100% from my injections, I have lost all my abilities, I would very much like to die
 
Nas47 said:
Fuck..must check what is that invega sustena.Never heard of.May be not exist here.Sounds like horror-quitting that stuff,but man it will pass-that agony.Hold on
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I have no real hope of recovering 100% from my injections, I have lost all my abilities, I would very much like to die
 
i really dont know how to express, for fear of pushing anyone in any one direction, im hear to listen , i want whats best for you, but anything i might say could trigger folks that are in deep depression , you are stronger you than you know but i feel you are fragile at this juncture, so all i can offer is understanding and compassion, your wish for death is very valid to me and my heart truly aches, are you alone in your home? If i may? if not i understand confidentiality, respect privacy, guess my concern is, do you have a friend, to perhaps sit with you and talk? I never would /could talk to anyone, i`d fear reprisal, plain` ol shame and insecurities, where i shouldnt have
 
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Robi said:
i really dont know how to express, for fear of pushing anyone in any one direction, im hear to listen , i want whats best for you, but anything i might say could trigger folks that are in deep depression , you are stronger you than you know but i feel you are fragile at this juncture, so all i can offer is understanding and compassion, your wish for death is very valid to me and my heart truly aches, are you alone in your home? If i may? if not i understand confidentiality, respect privacy, guess my concern is, do you have a friend, to perhaps sit with you and talk? I never would /could talk to anyone, i`d fear reprisal, plain` ol shame and insecurities, where i shouldnt have
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I am with my family but my pain is excruciating, I have the impression that nothing can hold me back except the complications of suicide. I want cyanide
 
Fanzy said:
I have no real hope of recovering 100% from my injections, I have lost all my abilities, I would very much like to die
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You definitely have very real hope of recovering from Invega. I know it seems hopeless right now but many people have recovered from Invega. Please stick around Bluelight for support, especially in the Invega thread, so that you can see that there is hope for you <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
You definitely have very real hope of recovering from Invega. I know it seems hopeless right now but many people have recovered from Invega. Please stick around Bluelight for support, especially in the Invega thread, so that you can see that there is hope for you <3
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I'm on the edge but I'm so afraid of not giving 100% like some people. And I'm suffering
 
Robi said:
i really dont know how to express, for fear of pushing anyone in any one direction, im hear to listen , i want whats best for you, but anything i might say could trigger folks that are in deep depression , you are stronger you than you know but i feel you are fragile at this juncture, so all i can offer is understanding and compassion, your wish for death is very valid to me and my heart truly aches, are you alone in your home? If i may? if not i understand confidentiality, respect privacy, guess my concern is, do you have a friend, to perhaps sit with you and talk? I never would /could talk to anyone, i`d fear reprisal, plain` ol shame and insecurities, where i shouldnt have
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It worries me when they dont answer back. I'm hoping the OP is ok
 
With everything going on with the Ukraine-Russia mess are we doomed? Should I even bother with life or should I just end my life right now before I have to go through starvation and god knows what else.. forever lock downs and everything going to shit I'm so sick and tired of stressing out over this fucking shit! I hate having this weak mentality and I don't know why I can't overcome this right now wtf
 
Nas47 said:
Fuck..must check what is that invega sustena.Never heard of.May be not exist here.Sounds like horror-quitting that stuff,but man it will pass-that agony.Hold on
Click to expand...
Nas47 said:
Fuck..must check what is that invega sustena.Never heard of.May be not exist here.Sounds like horror-quitting that stuff,but man it will pass-that agony.Hold on
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I do my best. It's one of the worst poison in the world Thank you
 
Fanzy said:
I have no real hope of recovering 100% from my injections, I have lost all my abilities, I would very much like to die
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I'm sure you have already found the Invega thread in Mental Health subforum. It seems like it may take some people a year or even two years to recover from the injections. Even a year or two of misery is IMHO better than permanent nothing.

I have attempted suicide and actually came pretty close to completing. At first I was mad that I survived. Then I gradually began appreciating what life has to offer. In hindsight, I am glad I was not successful in ending it at that moment. I would have never seen my nieces or nephew being born or see them grow up and perform in their band recitals. I would have never written, self produced, and recorded 7 full length albums of original songs.

If all that is between you and psychological equilibrium is some time, I think it is definitely worth the wait.
 
FallenOne86 said:
With everything going on with the Ukraine-Russia mess are we doomed? Should I even bother with life or should I just end my life right now before I have to go through starvation and god knows what else.. forever lock downs and everything going to shit I'm so sick and tired of stressing out over this fucking shit! I hate having this weak mentality and I don't know why I can't overcome this right now wtf
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Try to not thing a lot about the future.Life is uncertain and no need to put more weight on it.Live day by day like gypsies and don't worry.Be grateful-you see how one country just for a month became living hell
 
FallenOne86 said:
With everything going on with the Ukraine-Russia mess are we doomed? Should I even bother with life or should I just end my life right now before I have to go through starvation and god knows what else.. forever lock downs and everything going to shit I'm so sick and tired of stressing out over this fucking shit! I hate having this weak mentality and I don't know why I can't overcome this right now wtf
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I just had a newborn son, so I have to have faith that there is hope for the future, for him 🙂
But you also have to remember that there have been countless other times in history when things were really horrible and seemed dire, wars, poverty, pandemics, terrorism, natural disasters, famines, etc. But life always goes on. What's happening in Ukraine is horrific but it will pass, and you will be okay.
 
I have barely ever actively "considered" suicide in my life. I have pondered, mused the matter, practically, morally, ethically and above all spiritually.

It's just never been on the table. I'm not saying it is now, but I will need an extra extra miracle to live now. I've seen thoudands on this path already.

I don't want to live, be alive, be conscious with such an extreme unbearable level of PTSD.

Just fighting like F to secure physical survival. Covid can just take all the plaudits now, the rest of life is just wallpaper and surrpund sounds.

It's just trauma extreme. I have a tough mind but I can't handle it. I don't want to live.

And I'm so close too physically to beong where I needed to be, months ago at least, even one fortnight, to have made a go of it.

Last 5 days I have used 20-25 mg's Etizolam daily, 9ver 100 grams Kava, 4 to 5 grams cannabis, because it's been a hell of a week, entirely literally no figure of speech, I had such a battle and scrap.

Kava doubles benzos too, and vice versa. So that's effectively like 500 mg's upwards Diazepam equivalent just to pass the hours.

That alone is insane. I have had to suspend LSD use as the direct physical nerve damage from multiple long Covids has made LSD intolerable and insufferable, physically.

I could use a good trip too. It's always picked me up, but it would be the worst tine on planet Earth in this condition. I did take nearly 47 mg's of if though in 14 months from 25/01/21 and plenty over a lifetime so it's fully run it's cou4se anyway and honestly would be no issue without Covid tech.


This isn't a cry for help or support. I need a genuine miracle. I believe on miraclles, and fate.

I'm all done here though. I am managing regular allergies to get washed first time in 3 or 4 days (shower, allergies are treated 24/7/365) to visit a nearby Church and request prayer.

I would pray except I've no idea WHO to pray TO??

But I have seen miracles, through prayer.

I've nothing to lose. I will consider suicide if I can't see a chance though. It will be the necessary thing to do, not one tiny bit out of weakness or just giving up though.

Such a serious spot this Covid shit has landed me in.
 
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