TDS Ideation & Crisis Support

[wareika]

Hope it's not out of place or distasteful to ask the below but I've been involved in many discussion of this type (not necessarily here) and I've seen countless posts by people that have made serious and planned attempts and almost without exception the end story is the same i.e. they're glad and happy that they failed and are still around to be telling the tale. And what I'd like to know is if this is just some type of psychological phenomenon or have their lives truly done a 180 for the better or is it because, their perspective on life has changed which makes things SEEM better when actually the underlying reasons and circumstances have not changed one iota or what? Or is that people around just started giving a shit or actually listening (in which case my default reaction is well fuck them i.e. nobody goes from "normal" to actively suicidal without there being signs that something is going off of the rails but nobody gave enough of a fuck, or were too busy or too caught up in their own shit, to ask and I mean REALLY ask and REALLY listen i.e. not some half arsed casual conversation while their minds were miles away and on other things and having to watch the time).

Couple of thoughts.
1) Nietzsche and others alluded to the lack of danger being suffocating to the human condition. Thrills of relinquishing all control, near death can translate into a near life experience. Flash of light, one blinding moment is all it might take. Fight Club ofc emphasised it well & repeatedly. The exquisite scene with the deli employee.

2) same as point 1 really. We are born with certain intense vital biological energies. Like the neanderthal or any creature. Life force. Survival. Whatever 'that' is i bet it flashes right near the wire of mortality for all creatures. (and time dilation ofc)

3) Naturally humans do suicide the most (according to current statistics). So i'm wondering if modern humans, being so very distant from that vitality get a double or triple dose in near-suicide.

Affirmation on at leat 3 levels. animal - ego - universal/soul

- oh gaspp i'm alive i'm organically aliiive
- gasp i'm me i'm me, this swirling void seems expertly distilled into a refreshed cocktail that i'm back holding that i again KNOW TO BE ME, fiercely ME.
- universal. Unknown spiritual thirsts might be quenched. For the religious it may be Mary, and the solace with the goddess. Perhaps ones with spirit helpers, are in effect & administer something. Messages of geometric are likely.

For others, it might just be a glimpse of the ecstacy of a dark quivering horizon, no religion necessary.

 

[wareika]

Same, same to whoever you desire. You need to get used to variation.. I think sometimes blues helps, but not at that extent.

I don't like quotes but i find this tattooed onto us.

I had noticed that & it's eternally true. Even more than the last sec/min/hour :>

 

[gibberish-noise]

Couple of thoughts.
1) Nietzsche and others alluded to the lack of danger being suffocating to the human condition. Thrills of relinquishing all control, near death can translate into a near life experience. Flash of light, one blinding moment is all it might take. Fight Club ofc emphasised it well & repeatedly. The exquisite scene with the deli employee.

2) same as point 1 really. We are born with certain intense vital biological energies. Like the neanderthal or any creature. Life force. Survival. Whatever 'that' is i bet it flashes right near the wire of mortality for all creatures. (and time dilation ofc)

3) Naturally humans do suicide the most (according to current statistics). So i'm wondering if modern humans, being so very distant from that vitality get a double or triple dose in near-suicide.

Affirmation on at leat 3 levels. animal - ego - universal/soul

- oh gaspp i'm alive i'm organically aliiive
- gasp i'm me i'm me, this swirling void seems expertly distilled into a refreshed cocktail that i'm back holding that i again KNOW TO BE ME, fiercely ME.
- universal. Unknown spiritual thirsts might be quenched. For the religious it may be Mary, and the solace with the goddess. Perhaps ones with spirit helpers, are in effect & administer something. Messages of geometric are likely.

For others, it might just be a glimpse of the ecstacy of a dark quivering horizon, no religion necessary.

All very good points. I'd like to add that when you're suicidal to the point of actually carrying out a plan, you experience a thrilling loss of care for societal norms and expectations. There's the mindset of 'I'll be dead soon and none of this will matter', possibly also experienced by those with terminal illness (?), that allows you to live more authentically and fearlessly. The spectre of all humankind - death - suddenly is no longer a threat to you. This opens up a strange experience wherein one feels there are no limits; anything and everything is possible.

This exhilarated state tends to be short-lived. It's the actions you take whilst in this state that determine future outcomes - and if you follow your passion, from these crossroads one could well soon arrive at that 180. I personally haven't, so this is just speculation.

 

[XxLisaxX]

I'm glad to see this good work...about 3 years ago my husband shot himself in front of me. Always take a cry for help seriously it's been a disaster since he left behind 2 daughters

 

[Robi]

I'm glad to see this good work...about 3 years ago my husband shot himself in front of me. Always take a cry for help seriously it's been a disaster since he left behind 2 daughters

so horrible, but glad youre here , welcome to BL

 

[XxLisaxX]

so horrible, but glad youre here , welcome to BL

Thank you so much

 

[xaddictx]

I'm glad to see this good work...about 3 years ago my husband shot himself in front of me. Always take a cry for help seriously it's been a disaster since he left behind 2 daughters

I'm so sorry. We're all here if you need someone to talk to.

 

[deficiT]

I'm glad to see this good work...about 3 years ago my husband shot himself in front of me. Always take a cry for help seriously it's been a disaster since he left behind 2 daughters

I'm so very sorry that sounds incredibly difficult.

There is a great network of support on this site should you need someone to talk to.

 

[Sksjdjeisnfkeishz]

i'm feeling hope right now i just applied to the local jr college to do the culinary arts program

Thats great man, i always wanted to take a culinary class but never did. Kinda need it because damn i cant cook. I work in a restaraunt and my dad asked me to cook one day he dont want me to cook for him. Glad to hear your doing alright

 

[Sksjdjeisnfkeishz]

Thats great man, i always wanted to take a culinary class but never did. Kinda need it because damn i cant cook. I work in a restaraunt and my dad asked me to cook one day he dont want me to cook for him. Glad to hear your doing alright

Why do i keep responding to old posts

 

[Nas47]

I wish i have this power to overide survival instinct and finish all.Enough.Somebody suceed...but the Last word is not mine.Not mine

 

[Sksjdjeisnfkeishz]

I wish i have this power to overide survival instinct and finish all.Enough.Somebody suceed...but the Last word is not mine.Not mine

I understand you. Ive been there. Ive backed out of suicide attempts before.

Why do you feel suicidal? You have my ear to hear you out and shoulder to cry on and back to lean on.

 

[Nas47]

Well cause i am........attacked.and became something else,which wanna kills me.Not possible to describe....all I know its Evil

 

[Sksjdjeisnfkeishz]

Well cause i am........attacked.and became something else,which wanna kills me.Not possible to describe....all I know its Evil

I would try reaching out to a therapist, someone from your local church, or psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist can help put you on medications and that will prevent whoever it is or what it is from trying to kill you. Whatever it is might tell you to not take the meds but dont listen to them. You are stronger than them. You are in control. You have the power.

Try surrounding yourself with people so whatever it is can't hurt you. Try becoming clean from drugs if your on them because they can fuck with your mind man. They fucked with mine pretty bad but i got lucky and got help.

If you believe in god pray to him for help. Ask him for protection. Seriously contact a professional they will help you get that negative entity away.

 

[BenzoEnthusiast]

Suicidal thoughts are temporary. Death isn't.

 

[wareika]

I feel the same. It certainly is the simpler option. It is the easy way out; so why does it seem so difficult?

I don't know what your metaphysical/spiritual thoughts are. About souls, eternal living, reincarnation etc

This perspective might be helpful or it may be a curse. (sometimes i wish i hadn't heard it) Anyway a modern magician put it this way: the hesitancy/difficulty in taking one's own life is largely because the soul remembers the many many times it has done it before. In our countless lives we have probably committed suicide countless times. Hence the soul knows instinctively that it didn't solve as much as we dreamed it would, set us back a few steps, and that there may be a dose of humility awaiting us

I try to be as agnostic as possible about everything. Especially spirituality. Above is just one angle. Damn... to read various religious scriptures views on suicide is embarrassing, and often so shallow. Too much fear & made up 'rules' and 'consequences' - Not enough compassion and affirmation of an individuals freedom of choice.
Searching your heart (ie. trekking through the desert) is the only way to know whether suicide is suitable. This time around. Like pulling the plug from a computer, its probably not ideal. But we are Loved in this realm, and we are Loved on the other side. No matter how we die.

 

[wareika]

This exhilarated state tends to be short-lived. It's the actions you take whilst in this state that determine future outcomes - and if you follow your passion, from these crossroads one could well soon arrive at that 180. I personally haven't, so this is just speculation

So well said, gibberish-noise.

Just to clarify.. when you said you havent reached that state yet, are you referring to this:

experience a thrilling loss of care for societal norms and expectations. There's the mindset of 'I'll be dead soon and none of this will matter',

Anyway I really relate to the crossroad of decision you describe. Self-annihilation by killing the physical body.. or the self-annihilation required to walk the other way. Following ones passion with authenticity. No fear, no distraction - to quote Jack in Fight Club. A self-killing and sacrifice by another name. Offering our personality, biases, conditionings, lies, wounds & vanity, past & future up onto the funeral pyre.

 

[Nas47]

Suicidal thoughts are temporary. Death isn't.

Some buddhist will tell you opposite may be.

 

[wareika]

Some buddhist will tell you opposite may be.

Agreed. It can be seen in the opposite way. Death may be a flickering change in an energy state. And a soul can remain in a gloomy despair/confusion over several lifetimes. Like a hangover, the gloom lifts when it lifts. Until the toxins are worked through & expelled. And the soul processes the required lessons.

If that metaphor makes sense.

 

[Fanzy]

since stopping my injections of invega sustena (xeplion) I suffer all the time and end my life so much the suffering is so strong. I tell myself that if I hang myself or open my veins it will be long and painful so I would like to kill myself with cyanide or another product so that my death is painless. I cannot find cyanide so I tell myself that I should perhaps accept a long and painful suicide. I have not yet nothing to try but I would really like to finish