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I think I have a crush on my 15-years-older-than-me osteopath. Hah.

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If you mean that he is your psychological/emotional therapist, rather than just a physical therapist, then no, this is all fucking wrong, idiotic advice. Sorry.

OP, this is a normal crush for you to have on a therapist. But it's not something you can act on, and he will not, regardless (and it would most likely be a mistake to assume that your feelings are reciprocated). You have to discuss this crush with him and resolve it.

You are very vulnerable right now. If you act on this crush and he responds, you could easily be emotionally destroyed again. Do not do it.

Here is a page I found in ten seconds on Google, it was the first response to my search. Please read it:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080926235243AAKkIsA
 
Well he's technically just my physical therapist but he is very into the idea that most of my physical issues come from my emotional/psychological unhappiness so he asks me a lot about those issues as well...so I don't really know where that fits in.

Thanks a lot for the page :)

I'm not really sure about talking to him about it though, I just don't really see myself finding the courage to do that...
 
You're 18 in highschool or just out of highschool and he's an adult with a professional career with you as his patient within his business . WTF do you think is going to happen if you try and make a move on him?

Either you need to find a way to deal with this or find a new one. Don't be an idiot.
 
Haha =D Well I'm seeing him again tomorrow, I'll probably end up telling him I'm going to see another doctor...I sort of want him to know the truth so he doesn't feel bad though, cuz he was actually really helping my neck (which is also why it's a shame to change), but I sorta doubt I'll find it in me to tell him face to face XD well I'll tell you how it goes.
 
I don't think you necessarily need to find another doctor unless you can't control your feelings for him. If he's had any therapy training, he may know how to help you express your feelings safely, understand where they come from, and direct them in a healthy direction.

What you're experiencing is based on what he represents to you and how he behaves when he's with you. Who he really is, though, and especially what he's like in a relationship, may be completely different from what you imagine him to be. He sees the good things in you, and when he helps you to feel good about yourself no doubt he is telling you the truth. But he is a doctor and you are his patient, and his job is to heal you. I know this from my own job, which is lawyer. I am caring and compassionate towards my clients. I comfort and reassure them as part of the legal work I do. This side of me is real, and I do care about them. But they don't know me from outside my job, and what they see is only a small slice of who I am. It would be a mistake for a client to believe they know what it would be like to be in a relationship with me. They might want to get to know me better based on the part of me they do know, but - especially in the context of a patient-therapist relationship - it's too easy to confuse those two and base a crush on more than they really know. Someone who is emotionally hurting and needy is especially vulnerable to this confusion. The basis for the crush is mostly within the patient or client, based on the doctor or lawyer addressing (his or) her needs and responding to her in a way that can engender feelings of love and desire. A true professional will recognize this and respond appropriately, rather than take advantage of the patient or client's vulnerability in order to satisfy sexual urges.
 
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Okay so to whoever may be following this: I saw him today for my usual session and explained to him how I was feeling which was, I think, one of the hardest and most awkward things I've ever done XD BUUUUT:
Once I'd told him about all that he said he'd been planning on talking to me too and asking me to maybe change therapists because as it turns out, HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME TOO! And so he said that it was really inappropriate for him to remain my osteopath while he felt this way so he gave me the number of some other guy. And then he gave me his personal number and said that now that he wouldn't be my doctor anymore, I should call him some time.
:D :D :D
I'm a bit worried about what you guys said though and now I'm not sure whether or not I should agree to see him like, on a date...as was mentioned it's true I only know his caring and compassionate side and I'm afraid to end up more hurt if this continues :?
 
You should go out with someone your own age. Honestly I can't imagine the type of person who goes out with someone 15 years their minor, who almost is a minor. Maturity difference, no offense is huge. Seems like he could be a creeper.
 
obviously there is more to this than you've written here but there's absolutely nothing here that makes me think of this guy as a creeper.

he's been completely professional and reacted in a pretty understandable manner when you told him how you felt.

so 15 years is too big an age difference? how about 14 years 364 days? 14 years 363 days? where do you draw the line and how do you measure something like this objectively? age difference is something that only matters to the individuals involved.

pagey, you were attracted to him and you made the move. when he responded positively, you now agree that he's a creeper? that's an odd reaction to be honest.

:\

alasdair
 
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Well I don't really know what to think. I mean obviously I'm totally happy about this situation. But it's true in the back of my mind it is a little weird, not just for him but for me as well, for there to be such a difference. It's not necessarily a deal-breaker for me, it's just, you know, weird. I wasn't clear in my last comment, sorry - I don't think he's a creeper, I just agree it's an...unusual situation. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining though, this is what I was hoping for after all =D

Edit: so I just called him and am seeing him in a couple days. If the age difference makes me/him too uncomfortable we can always back out later. It's totally worth a shot now though I think :)
 
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As a medical professional, I can tell you I have encountered this. Yes, sometimes patients are attractive, and yes, sometimes they even flirt with you. If you are really insistant then you are going to potentially make things awkward and put him at risk of losing his job. Do you know how many lawsuits happen every year because of doctors who give into their patient's inappropriate advances? Even though they didn't instigate it, they lose almost every time, ESPECIALLY if it's a male doctor and a female patient. That's just how the system is. It's not like in porn. You are putting him at risk of having his life ruined. Every medical professional is required to have insurance for this very reason - in case they are sued by patients who think they touched them inappropriately, or when they have a tantrum and sue them because their fantasy doctor didn't turn out to be who they thought he was.

I would say that if you are interested in him, you should ask him out after you leave the session, or call him up. Coming onto him in session is disrespectful. I would even call it entrapment. He's doing his job and showing you care because he wants you to get better, not because he wants to bed you. During that paid time, he is dedicating himself to you. Don't get too caught up in that.
 
I better get props for getting you laid by your Doctor. Everyone else was telling you not to and blahblahblah.

Name your first out-of-wedlock child after me once you're a single mother please. <3
 
Haha, you do. Unfortunately though I don't think it ended in the porn scene you envisionned =D

Yes, of course. I'm already planning and looking forward to that time when I'll be a single teenage mom : - )
 
alasdairm said:
obviously there is more to this than you've written here but there's absolutely nothing here that makes me think of this guy as a creeper.

he's been completely professional and reacted in a pretty understandable manner when you told him how you felt.

so 15 years is to big an age difference? how about 14 years 364 days? 14 years 363 days? where do you draw the line and how do you measure something like this objectively? age difference is something that only matters to the individuals involved.

pagey, you were attracted to him and you made the move. when he responded positively, you now agree that he's a creeper? that's an odd reaction to be honest.

:\

alasdair
Click to expand...

I said 15 years their minor, who is almost a minor. I didn't say there is an issue with dating someone 15 years younger. There just is a HUGE difference between an 18 year old and a 33 year old. People will do what they want, but it just seems like an odd thing for a 32 year old to want to do. He has a career and is wanting to date someone who just is out of high school or in highschool. The maturity difference is ridiculous there, even if she is a mature 18 year old. To each there own, but I don't see them being on the same page being able to make any sort of relationship work.

Just my personal opinion.
 
^ maybe not. but that doesn't mean they shouldn't try it out and see what happens. maybe he just wants to bang an 18 year old for a while?

alasdair
 
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