Mariposa
Bluelight Crew
^I do not blame you one bit for not wanting to be involuntarily committed. It is, aside from being arrested, easily one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a person. You certainly can sign yourself in to avoid this, and tell the truth - that you are bipolar, have been having depressive feelings, and you feel you need medical attention so you are voluntarily entering the hospital. This is what I strongly suggest you do.
I admit I don't know you all that well, d_p, but I have observed you helping others and have been personally helped by reading your words in TDS. You may feel as though you have "nothing left to say" and I'm not going to insult your intelligence and spit a bunch of psychobabble at you.
What I will say is that when I think the world would be better off without me (I have depression, so thoughts like this are not foreign to me - and I can be very coldly 'rational' at times) I always end up talking myself out of it when I realize my 'arguments' don't stand up under scrutiny. Neither do yours.
You feel unloved, but your family and certainly your friends here in TDS would disagree. Being the support system for everyone else can certainly weigh on a person - that's why you set boundaries for yourself, not check out for good.
As for your personal beliefs - surely it is comforting to think the spirit lives on after death of the physical body, but I have yet to see proof of that - and I've dealt with loved ones' death many times, including my own mother.
Chicpoena posted this link in another thread. I think it deserves a re-read. One part that sticks out to me is:
You can face up to your legal charges if you live.
You can form or re-form healthy friendships and a relationship if you live.
You can pay back your debts if you live.
You can gain even more mental ground if you live.
You can learn more about a subject or subjects that interest you if you live.
You can make a change of scenery if you live.
You can show your family you love and honor them if you live.
Those all seem like good reasons to stick around, to me anyways.
The world can be a fucked-up place full of fucked-up people, places, and things. But if anything, that's more reason to keep fighting.
Keep fighting, man.
I admit I don't know you all that well, d_p, but I have observed you helping others and have been personally helped by reading your words in TDS. You may feel as though you have "nothing left to say" and I'm not going to insult your intelligence and spit a bunch of psychobabble at you.
What I will say is that when I think the world would be better off without me (I have depression, so thoughts like this are not foreign to me - and I can be very coldly 'rational' at times) I always end up talking myself out of it when I realize my 'arguments' don't stand up under scrutiny. Neither do yours.
You feel unloved, but your family and certainly your friends here in TDS would disagree. Being the support system for everyone else can certainly weigh on a person - that's why you set boundaries for yourself, not check out for good.
As for your personal beliefs - surely it is comforting to think the spirit lives on after death of the physical body, but I have yet to see proof of that - and I've dealt with loved ones' death many times, including my own mother.
Chicpoena posted this link in another thread. I think it deserves a re-read. One part that sticks out to me is:
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
You can face up to your legal charges if you live.
You can form or re-form healthy friendships and a relationship if you live.
You can pay back your debts if you live.
You can gain even more mental ground if you live.
You can learn more about a subject or subjects that interest you if you live.
You can make a change of scenery if you live.
You can show your family you love and honor them if you live.
Those all seem like good reasons to stick around, to me anyways.
The world can be a fucked-up place full of fucked-up people, places, and things. But if anything, that's more reason to keep fighting.
Keep fighting, man.