axe battler
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Yeah benzos are a bit of a curse on me too. Although I love them so fucking much 
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"I put shatter up my shitter" - your WORST drug mistake
- Thread starter Ismene2
- Start date
Robi
Bluelighter
i want to take them, but stock piling , i dont have near the anxiety as i had, whoop whoop. pft, 100 or so .05s, i got skert of them, and that gave me anxiety to get hooked cos that damn fent addiction, and all i have learned about every single drug ive been offered is addicting, weird to have anxiety to addiction for anti anxiety drugs, its as if i have less anxiety if have shit put away and when psyche cuts me off ,because he doesnt want me addicted, strange how they help you for months, then say , no more, not my case yet, but cant imagine how its for pain medicine recipients
Robi
Bluelighter
oh and i took a gram more then shrooms than intended and smoked pot as a light weight(i was fine, dogs trip sat me), but nothing up my bottom but my head `edited for sanity
ItsAFunThing
Bluelighter
Took like 800 mg MDMA over the course of one night (crystals dissolved in water) at a festival. Don't remember about 95% of it, but that's a night I'll never forget.
It's honestly a dumb story. The guy I bought from told me "throw one into a bottle and drink slowly, best feeling ever"... so I did exactly that, threw one baggie into a bottle and drank it slowly. Man, when it hit me, ahaha, I still remember that moment of "what the fuck is happening, why is it so strong, oh boy, better buckle up".
But I took it like a champ, partied until 5 AM and even didn't die! In retrospect, he probably meant "one crystal".
It's honestly a dumb story. The guy I bought from told me "throw one into a bottle and drink slowly, best feeling ever"... so I did exactly that, threw one baggie into a bottle and drank it slowly. Man, when it hit me, ahaha, I still remember that moment of "what the fuck is happening, why is it so strong, oh boy, better buckle up".
But I took it like a champ, partied until 5 AM and even didn't die! In retrospect, he probably meant "one crystal".
ItsAFunThing
Bluelighter
It's mostly emotions ingrained somewhere deep in my head which I probably will never forget. The all-consuming bass, the love and unity, also that one guy at the dancefloor who told me I'm freaking soaked and kept me hydrated.. and a brief minute of lucidity before the DJs dropped an OxiDaksi track - yeah - that blew my mind, I'm sure.
Can't help smiling like a dumbass whenever I remember that "accident".
I just enjoy statements like that is all 
Here's another famous one:
I'll never forget what's her name
Here's another famous one:
I'll never forget what's her name
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2009
- Messages
- 4,447
Very interesting ...
I see nothing!! (showing our age CK)
Bleaney
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2021
- Messages
- 1,674
I have made many mistakes when it comes to Benzos. Possibly one of the worst ones was buying a huge tray of Etilaam branded Etizolam blister packs, due to the cheaper rate on offer for a large bulk purchases. The largest amount it was possible to purchase. I cant remember the amount that was in the tray but I think it might well have been 1,000 x 1mg tablets. Yeah I think that was it, 100 bundles of 10x1mg blister packs. I had totally given in to my Etiz dependancy at that point, and had not the slightest intention of quitting any time soon so I just thought why the hell not.
I thought that I had been so shrewd in grabbing myself all those Etilaam Etizolams at such a cheap wholesale prices for the price of each individual pill wokred out very cheap..
I should have seen the inevitable consequences of having so may benzos to hand. I think people here warned me but I chose not to listen. My naive / delusional plan had been to carry on with my usual dosing and to simply stockpile the surplus, as the use by date was plenty long enough. They were legal then too so no legal worries about being busted with such a large amount in my possession.
Inevitably my usage rapidly sky rocketed and I began boshing them like smarties, boshing a whole strip of 10 at a time, sometimes boshing 4 whole strips at a time just for good measure. It was absolute madness. I would never repeat that mistake again. Hopefully. During this period I got fired from 2 jobs. I have never been fired before or since. It was just impossible for me to get out of bed some mornings or even to be able to hear the multiple alarms go off such was the crazyness of my benzo usage. Also not surprsingly my standard of work when I actually made it in was not up to par.
As Oscar Wilde said "I can resist everything except temptation" and I know exactly what he means, especially when it comes to having ridiculously huge stockpiles of drugs. This is not something that could ever work for me.
Another very bad benzo mistake I made was to make a 3:1 strength Phenazepam to PG mix solution. And then I just sipped on the solution throughout the days as if it were some kind of cocktail. I had seen a post from Mugz shortly before saying that he had done the same thing, in making a Phenazepam PG solution and had taken to sipping on it throughout the day as and when desired. Everyone else was telling him what a terrible reckless idea that was, but such was the state of my lack of judgement at that time, that I thought it was a great idea. It's no surprise that Phenazepam has such a reputation as the train wreck of all benzos. The disinhibition and loss of judgement is like nothing else, and whatever judgement or common sense one may normally possess can go clean out the window. Never before or since have I got myself into so many arguments and come so close to getting myself in danger of being beaten up so many times such was the level of fucked up-ness and Phenazepam fuelled aggression. Once again it was a miracle that I wasn't arrested during that period, although I did have visit from 3 of the boys in blue who had a word with me due to a complaint about my behaviour from some of my neighbours. I just got a warning to stay out of their way basically, and luckily that was it! That whole Phenazepam period was pretty much a fugue state for me, for several months I didn't have many clear recollections. I did enjoy Phenazepam and it made me feel good but becoming "irresposnsible" doesn't come close to describing the negative effects it had on my behaviour. I was constantyly getting into rows with people on EADD during that period too, fortunately that's not something that's happened to me at anything like that extent before or after. It was defintely the caining of far too much Phenazepam that was the root cause of that and many other self created problems.
Another aspect of my phenazepam PG solution that was a big mistake was the ratio of powder to liquid that I chose to use. Any Benzo to PG mixture that isn't a 1:1 ratio is a mistake I would say. PG is not expensive at all, it is cheap as chips in fact even at lab grade, and it doesnt taste bad either so there is absoultely no need to try to dissolve as much Bz powder into each ml as possible. All it does is make working out the dosing confusing and complicated, especially if you are already fucked up on something like Phenazepam. Always keep the ratio at 1mg to 1 ml that way it is as fool proof as possible, at least in terms of working out the dosages.
I probably have many many more benzo mistakes, but the ones that I have recalled in this post are pretty much top of my list I would have to say.
Of course none of this is intended as "dicksizing", it is just some of the mistakes I have made with regard to benzos. I am obviously not proud of some of the things I have done and the stupidity of some of my behaviour. But what's done is done, and if nothing else at least I have learned from my mistakes. I am also thankful for having found a positive and constructive way to view mistakes in order too keep ones mood, positvity, and self respect in tact, rather than in tattered ruins. To learn from a mistake and to think through what I could do differently if the same situations ever arise again, is the only way I know of which allows moving on from bad situations in a healthy way, otherwise one can end up trapped in endless ruminations, guilt, shame, and self loathing that one just cant escape from or move on from.
I thought that I had been so shrewd in grabbing myself all those Etilaam Etizolams at such a cheap wholesale prices for the price of each individual pill wokred out very cheap..
I should have seen the inevitable consequences of having so may benzos to hand. I think people here warned me but I chose not to listen. My naive / delusional plan had been to carry on with my usual dosing and to simply stockpile the surplus, as the use by date was plenty long enough. They were legal then too so no legal worries about being busted with such a large amount in my possession.
Inevitably my usage rapidly sky rocketed and I began boshing them like smarties, boshing a whole strip of 10 at a time, sometimes boshing 4 whole strips at a time just for good measure. It was absolute madness. I would never repeat that mistake again. Hopefully. During this period I got fired from 2 jobs. I have never been fired before or since. It was just impossible for me to get out of bed some mornings or even to be able to hear the multiple alarms go off such was the crazyness of my benzo usage. Also not surprsingly my standard of work when I actually made it in was not up to par.
As Oscar Wilde said "I can resist everything except temptation" and I know exactly what he means, especially when it comes to having ridiculously huge stockpiles of drugs. This is not something that could ever work for me.
Another very bad benzo mistake I made was to make a 3:1 strength Phenazepam to PG mix solution. And then I just sipped on the solution throughout the days as if it were some kind of cocktail. I had seen a post from Mugz shortly before saying that he had done the same thing, in making a Phenazepam PG solution and had taken to sipping on it throughout the day as and when desired. Everyone else was telling him what a terrible reckless idea that was, but such was the state of my lack of judgement at that time, that I thought it was a great idea. It's no surprise that Phenazepam has such a reputation as the train wreck of all benzos. The disinhibition and loss of judgement is like nothing else, and whatever judgement or common sense one may normally possess can go clean out the window. Never before or since have I got myself into so many arguments and come so close to getting myself in danger of being beaten up so many times such was the level of fucked up-ness and Phenazepam fuelled aggression. Once again it was a miracle that I wasn't arrested during that period, although I did have visit from 3 of the boys in blue who had a word with me due to a complaint about my behaviour from some of my neighbours. I just got a warning to stay out of their way basically, and luckily that was it! That whole Phenazepam period was pretty much a fugue state for me, for several months I didn't have many clear recollections. I did enjoy Phenazepam and it made me feel good but becoming "irresposnsible" doesn't come close to describing the negative effects it had on my behaviour. I was constantyly getting into rows with people on EADD during that period too, fortunately that's not something that's happened to me at anything like that extent before or after. It was defintely the caining of far too much Phenazepam that was the root cause of that and many other self created problems.
Another aspect of my phenazepam PG solution that was a big mistake was the ratio of powder to liquid that I chose to use. Any Benzo to PG mixture that isn't a 1:1 ratio is a mistake I would say. PG is not expensive at all, it is cheap as chips in fact even at lab grade, and it doesnt taste bad either so there is absoultely no need to try to dissolve as much Bz powder into each ml as possible. All it does is make working out the dosing confusing and complicated, especially if you are already fucked up on something like Phenazepam. Always keep the ratio at 1mg to 1 ml that way it is as fool proof as possible, at least in terms of working out the dosages.
I probably have many many more benzo mistakes, but the ones that I have recalled in this post are pretty much top of my list I would have to say.
Of course none of this is intended as "dicksizing", it is just some of the mistakes I have made with regard to benzos. I am obviously not proud of some of the things I have done and the stupidity of some of my behaviour. But what's done is done, and if nothing else at least I have learned from my mistakes. I am also thankful for having found a positive and constructive way to view mistakes in order too keep ones mood, positvity, and self respect in tact, rather than in tattered ruins. To learn from a mistake and to think through what I could do differently if the same situations ever arise again, is the only way I know of which allows moving on from bad situations in a healthy way, otherwise one can end up trapped in endless ruminations, guilt, shame, and self loathing that one just cant escape from or move on from.
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Hexenstahl
Bluelighter
I have. A real nice handmade persian import
@Hexenstahl - don't know who you are or even what gender but I find your thumbnail extremely erotic....is that bad?
SuspiciousBiscuit
Bluelighter
Only mistake I ever made was on a business trip in Texas a few years ago. I crushed up my bag of ice and put them in capsules (without measuring the doses, just stuffing these thing as full as I could). This is like four months into my drug use so my tolerance was still weak. Btw these capsules are Fucking massive. Semi horse pills. Struggle to swallow them.
Went through the airport with those in my carry on. Roughly around half an oz. I digress
Wake up at one morning on the trip, popped two of them, got dressed. I jump on the elevator and as soon as I got down to the lobby my vision goes from 4k resolution to “vcr static at the end of your dads porno tape” and my legs go wet noodle. I probably looked like a fish out of water. I pushed my co workers aside and struggle to try to get back on the elevator. Make it back To my room and wait it or for an hour to level out itself out.
I almost got fired for missing the meeting
Went through the airport with those in my carry on. Roughly around half an oz. I digress
Wake up at one morning on the trip, popped two of them, got dressed. I jump on the elevator and as soon as I got down to the lobby my vision goes from 4k resolution to “vcr static at the end of your dads porno tape” and my legs go wet noodle. I probably looked like a fish out of water. I pushed my co workers aside and struggle to try to get back on the elevator. Make it back To my room and wait it or for an hour to level out itself out.
I almost got fired for missing the meeting
Hexenstahl
Bluelighter
My sex is literally written inside my profile lol...
yes, it was the fentanyl. I smoked it like it was heroin, not knowing you're just supposed to do a little bit, then a little bit more.
I OD'd immediately and when my gf found me few hours later my heartbeat was ka-dunk ,ka -dunk and white stuff was all over my face.
she said it was like Pulp Fiction but a horror version.
she called 911 and according to her it took three Narcan shots to revive any breath. I only found 2 Narcan things tho when I returned home
after 2 weeks in the hospital.
This shit gave me chronic heart failure which I have and it can take me out. I'm 48 now so I have lived a while.
I have to stop smoking cigs and get on a diet but first I need 30 clean days.
I'm a chronic relapser and drugs and being in self robbed me of a life. But yeah..
I OD'd immediately and when my gf found me few hours later my heartbeat was ka-dunk ,ka -dunk and white stuff was all over my face.
she said it was like Pulp Fiction but a horror version.
she called 911 and according to her it took three Narcan shots to revive any breath. I only found 2 Narcan things tho when I returned home
after 2 weeks in the hospital.
This shit gave me chronic heart failure which I have and it can take me out. I'm 48 now so I have lived a while.
I have to stop smoking cigs and get on a diet but first I need 30 clean days.
I'm a chronic relapser and drugs and being in self robbed me of a life. But yeah..
Señor Moreno
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2022
- Messages
- 966
Years ago, before we had internet sites like this to learn and before subutex or suboxone existed, there were those little bupe pills called Temgesic, Buprex, Prefin... containing only 0,2 mg of buprenorphine and we used to IV them.
One day I was about to do a h shot and thought, hey let's add one Buprex pill to the shot. And I did.
I felt nothing, at all. The 0,2 mg didn't sent me into precipitated wds, I was lucky, but 100% negated any opi effect from the h, aside keeping me out of wd for the usual amount of time.
Other time, being on vortioxetine ( antidepressant) I did 100 mgs Palexia tapentadol. Got a bad reaction, rigid muscles, high body temp, blurry vision ... I guess serotonine related, but I am no doctor
But benzo+ booze has to be the worst mistake that I have made. Again and again.
Rohypnol 2mgs were notorious for inducing wild performances when mixed with alcohol.
I don't know all the twisted shit I have done under such combo, but can't forget that morning when I felt something cold in my bed. To my disbelief, I was surrounded by coins. After regaining some brain function, I saw a open/broken phone box (well, the metallic box) in my room!!. Didn't have a clue about wtf was going on and couldn't figure out what happened. Latter, my mate phoned me and went like what the hell did we do last night with my brother's car??
Turned out that we had used a chain to tie the phone box to the car and ripped it off, while leaving a broken bonnet hanging from the fucking car....
One day I was about to do a h shot and thought, hey let's add one Buprex pill to the shot. And I did.
I felt nothing, at all. The 0,2 mg didn't sent me into precipitated wds, I was lucky, but 100% negated any opi effect from the h, aside keeping me out of wd for the usual amount of time.
Other time, being on vortioxetine ( antidepressant) I did 100 mgs Palexia tapentadol. Got a bad reaction, rigid muscles, high body temp, blurry vision ... I guess serotonine related, but I am no doctor
But benzo+ booze has to be the worst mistake that I have made. Again and again.
Rohypnol 2mgs were notorious for inducing wild performances when mixed with alcohol.
I don't know all the twisted shit I have done under such combo, but can't forget that morning when I felt something cold in my bed. To my disbelief, I was surrounded by coins. After regaining some brain function, I saw a open/broken phone box (well, the metallic box) in my room!!. Didn't have a clue about wtf was going on and couldn't figure out what happened. Latter, my mate phoned me and went like what the hell did we do last night with my brother's car??
Turned out that we had used a chain to tie the phone box to the car and ripped it off, while leaving a broken bonnet hanging from the fucking car....
CbRoXiDe
Bluelighter
A tale as old as time itself, a self proclaimed drug connoisseur deems himself clever enough to ‘eyeball’ a huge bag of powdered Valium. It was going so well until I teleported to hospital 2/3 days later after I OD’d cause I’d somehow scored H in the blackout!!”? The Valium made the H so potent I literally only smoked a couple of lines land started turning blue apparently.
Not the worst thing I’ve ever done lol… but moral of story is don’t eyeball pure Valium powder.
Not the worst thing I’ve ever done lol… but moral of story is don’t eyeball pure Valium powder
.
have seen this go even worse w a self proclaimed and a large bag of pure alprazolamA tale as old as time itself, a self proclaimed drug connoisseur deems himself clever enough to ‘eyeball’ a huge bag of powdered Valium. It was going so well until I teleported to hospital 2/3 days later after I OD’d cause I’d somehow scored H in the blackout!!”? The Valium made the H so potent I literally only smoked a couple of lines land started turning blue apparently.
Not the worst thing I’ve ever done lol… but moral of story is don’t eyeball pure Valium powder
(Time and place I think is equally as dangerous.
Taking too much is one thing. Taking a normal dose but in a terrible environment or place where bad situations that are compounded by drugs is equally another thing to be carful of I'd say.