Venting I just hate being sober

[Mushoku_Sensei]

I didn't realize that the rush was less for the furthest veins. So injecting in the neck is fastest?

Likely, but I didn't try

I hope your new toilet seat is one of those padded ones, for more comfortable gripping

Lmao K is mercyful insofar as everything is less painfully perceived...

Sounds like a real strain to keep it a secret and it seems like sooner or later it will pop out

It IS fs .. but I'm determined to moderate... Been questioning my sanity a bit too often lately

 

[Kmas]

The mystical side of opiates, the visions I had, the prescience, were fascinating. I knew the future, I knew the stuff wasn't going to kill me but I knew it would fuck up my body. It changed how I look at society, men and women, sex, power structures, law enforcement, courts, everything. It enlightened me and taught me as much as any drug. Opiates give you visions with more clarity than psychedelics. They are very real.

I came to understood my past traumas and mistakes. Why this disaster had happened to me, why I was unsatisfied with life, where I went wrong. I could see the relationships I had and the ones I could have had. Special people that would have been life-long friends, partners, lovers, wives even. If I'd only paid attention to them and followed my heart.

This part though is like the first time I ever heard anything alike.

The epic movie 'Once Upon in America' starting Robert De Niro and James Woods has been theorized to be an opium dream fantasy by Robert De Niro's character after the robbery and the shootout De Niro escapes from. It's such a common meme it became a literary device in the late 19th/early 20th centuries.

Opioid-Induced Hallucination: Distressful or Sought After? : Survey of Anesthesiology

r “waking dream” is often overlooked. Yet, this “waking dream” is well documented in literature, as well as forums and blogs frequented by recreational opioid users....

journals.lww.com

pipe dream — Wordorigins.org

25 February 2022 A pipe dream is an unrealizable hope or plan, a fantasy. The underlying metaphor is straightforward and, once you think about it, rather obvious. A literal pipe dream is an opium-induced hallucination. The phrase is an Americanism that first appears in print on 11 December 189

www.wordorigins.org

http://rjelal.com/10.3.22/258-265%20SEPEHR%20DANESHARA%20RJ%2010.3.22.pdf

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

The epic movie 'Once Upon in America' starting Robert De Niro and James Woods has been theorized to be an opium dream fantasy by Robert De Niro's character after the robbery and the shootout De Niro escapes from. It's such a common meme it became a literary device in the late 19th/early 20th centuries.

Opioid-Induced Hallucination: Distressful or Sought After? : Survey of Anesthesiology

r “waking dream” is often overlooked. Yet, this “waking dream” is well documented in literature, as well as forums and blogs frequented by recreational opioid users....

journals.lww.com

pipe dream — Wordorigins.org

25 February 2022 A pipe dream is an unrealizable hope or plan, a fantasy. The underlying metaphor is straightforward and, once you think about it, rather obvious. A literal pipe dream is an opium-induced hallucination. The phrase is an Americanism that first appears in print on 11 December 189

www.wordorigins.org

http://rjelal.com/10.3.22/258-265%20SEPEHR%20DANESHARA%20RJ%2010.3.22.pdf

Interesting. So it seems you're rather fortunate to have experienced this... Didn't happen for me anyways but no one usually gets all the possible side-effects

 

[Kmas]

Interesting. So it seems you're rather fortunate to have experienced this... Didn't happen for me anyways but no one usually gets all the possible side-effects

Similar to visions I had when I had deliriums when I was a child. It's something that can't really be forced but it seems to take a high tolerance and a mix of substances.

Opium is not one substance. It's like mushrooms or cannabis or other natural substances that haven't been refined. When it's purified into something like black tar, strong opium, or some of the impure 'brown sugar' forms I think you're more likely to have that sort of effect. I wouldn't recommend seeking it. Not a good habit to have and it's probably close to life threatening. My brain was very clear and analytical.

One of my clearest visions was of a coyote. He lived a happy go lucky life in the desert. One day he encountered a rattlesnake. I think he ate it but the snake bit his leg, injected poison into it. This was very painful the coyote was forced to retreat to his hole. I knew the poison wasn't going to kill the coyote but it was very strong and he became very sick. His leg hurt and swelled up. Eventually it healed enough he could leave his hole. But things were never the same again and he always had a limp.

I realized the coyote was me in the future. The rattlesnake was the consequences of my opiate use, the fangs were shooting dope. I somehow knew it wouldn't kill me but the damage I'd done socially and physically changed me permanently. The consequences to my body, my relationships with people, and my family would never be the same. I lost a lot. But I was tough. I would heal and I'd move on. It was a very harsh but it was my consciousness being honest. That was a long time, 20 years ago. A quit the stuff a couple years later. I had to but it helped me understand the reason for many of my fears and the trauma I'd faced in my life I'd ignored before that.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Similar to visions I had when I had deliriums when I was a child. It's something that can't really be forced but it seems to take a high tolerance and a mix of substances.

Opium is not one substance. It's like mushrooms or cannabis or other natural substances that haven't been refined. When it's purified into something like black tar, strong opium, or some of the impure 'brown sugar' forms I think you're more likely to have that sort of effect. I wouldn't recommend seeking it. Not a good habit to have and it's probably close to life threatening. My brain was very clear and analytical.

One of my clearest visions was of a coyote. He lived a happy go lucky life in the desert. One day he encountered a rattlesnake. I think he ate it but the snake bit his leg, injected poison into it. This was very painful the coyote was forced to retreat to his hole. I knew the poison wasn't going to kill the coyote but it was very strong and he became very sick. His leg hurt and swelled up. Eventually it healed enough he could leave his hole. But things were never the same again and he always had a limp.

I realized the coyote was me in the future. The rattlesnake was the consequences of my opiate use, the fangs were shooting dope. I somehow knew it wouldn't kill me but the damage I'd done socially and physically changed me permanently. The consequences to my body, my relationships with people, and my family would never be the same. I lost a lot. But I was tough. I would heal and I'd move on. It was a very harsh but it was my consciousness being honest. That was a long time, 20 years ago. A quit the stuff a couple years later. I had to but it helped me understand the reason for many of my fears and the trauma I'd faced in my life I'd ignored before that.

That's a striking example of the subconscious dream like language imo. Congratulations on receiving that kind of message...
It's possible to achieve that kind of thing without drugs, but they can be a key and it was the treasure you found there. So many things (and the lesson they taught us) can be understood only over time... And I'm honestly wondering what pulls me in so much myself... Didn't find it yet. That's for sure...

 

[marcoman]

I'm 67..well in 2 weeks. Being sober sucks and I'm not a boxer or into much drugs. I take oxy and k pins in low dose with 2 beers. That keeps my world doable until I can get the fck outta here. Tripped a lot in the 70s, that was good too. I grow my own shrooms from spores syringes. Legal.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

I'm 67..well in 2 weeks. Being sober sucks and I'm not a boxer or into much drugs. I take oxy and k pins in low dose with 2 beers. That keeps my world doable until I can get the fck outta here. Tripped a lot in the 70s, that was good too. I grow my own shrooms from spores syringes. Legal.

Cool. I still have two glasses full of my own shrooms as well (dried, but raised from grow sets)... Don't get to it anymore though.. or VERY rarely unfortunately...

 

[Uden]

"I just hate being sober"

You are not alone brother. (or sister...)

This world grates on my nerves. I'm not talking about the general hubbub. The light. The sounds. All of it. Fuck this place.

On another note, seems like you're getting your shit in order. Congrats. (I read a very general outline so if I missed the mark completely, don't hate me.)

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

"I just hate being sober"

You are not alone brother. (or sister...)

Thank you brother or sister (I'm the latter if you care)

This world grates on my nerves. I'm not talking about the general hubbub. The light. The sounds. All of it. Fuck this place.

And is it getting better when you're not sober? Or is it just numbing out?

On another note, seems like you're getting your shit in order. Congrats. (I read a very general outline so if I missed the mark completely, don't hate me.)

No hate at all, I can't demand anyone to read all my ramblings . Thank you again. I'm getting by from day to day, but don't manage to make substantial changes... Other than getting hooked on H . It's a struggle, but I'm VERY motivated to keep the family going - despite my wish to escape...

 

[Uden]

Thank you brother or sister (I'm the latter if you care)

And is it getting better when you're not sober? Or is it just numbing out?

No hate at all, I can't demand anyone to read all my ramblings . Thank you again. I'm getting by from day to day, but don't manage to make substantial changes... Other than getting hooked on H . It's a struggle, but I'm VERY motivated to keep the family going - despite my wish to escape...

If I didn't care I wouldn't have made the distinction. (Sorry, I'm the former so it comes first by instinct.. )

And yes. When I'm not sober it's peaceful. Fake, real, whatever. They're words. It's something, and it's real to me. The bad times suck, when I don't have it. I had my shit together for a while but knowing only liars and thieves makes it worse, a lot worse. That isn't the drugs fault. It's the people, and the systems fault. Same DOC here.

It's good that you're keeping your family together. I love the small family I have. My mom and my sister. Despite what I said above about people, in the end they're all that we have. And don't mention it.

 

[Uden]

Interesting. So it seems you're rather fortunate to have experienced this... Didn't happen for me anyways but no one usually gets all the possible side-effects

Oh man opiates can definitely have "mystical" properties, for lack of better wording. I used to experience weird things, it's like you're putting yourself in that state between wakefulness and sleep, but in a different light. It's forced, induced, but you can ride it anyway if you're used to it. I could hear words before they were spoken sometimes, only milliseconds but it's enough to get your brain juices going ain't it? Other weird phenomena, I wish I could remember all of it. Some of it escapes my memory because it's hard to explain, or there aren't really words for it... other stuff it's just stuff you experienced in that state and can't quite remember. Like a dream, I suppose. I'm into Sethian Gnosticism these days. I think there might be some kind of truth in there somewhere.

I was talking to ChatGPT (oh noes! the debbil!) about it, apparently there is evidence to support that "religion" being over 4000 years old. I didn't ask what, just the fact it supposedly existed was good enough for me. So I also asked it, in that time, was there any mention anywhere of the Godhead having any kind of tyrannical personality, or being responsible for any atrocity. The answer it gave me shook me pretty hard. It (I call him Mr. C.) said something like "Not in any manuscript, distant legend, or the deepest cosmic whisper." Man that shit gives me chills thinking about it. It can't be a human concept. It doesn't possess the ... flaws(?) one might. Especially if it's over 4000 years old? Yeah, it would read like a more cruel version of the.. very popular religion I won't mention the name of, because I don't want to offend anyone.


Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I just noticed this part of the conversation and it's the first time I've heard anyone mention the weird properties of opiates.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

And yes. When I'm not sober it's peaceful. Fake, real, whatever. They're words. It's something, and it's real to me. The bad times suck, when I don't have it. I had my shit together for a while but knowing only liars and thieves makes it worse, a lot worse. That isn't the drugs fault. It's the people, and the systems fault. Same DOC here.

May I ask what's your roa and how long you're on it?

It's good that you're keeping your family together. I love the small family I have. My mom and my sister. Despite what I said above about people, in the end they're all that we have.

True... I'd say I'm borderline compensated atm. Ran out of H and will try sticking to pills now mostly, cause that's easier to handle... Also I started to detest myself for just shooting up so naturally and still stressed between lunch making and eating or brushing my youngest and my teeth... Hurt myself a little today as well so that's a good start for a needle break