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TDS I cant get clean

Jnk

Jnk

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 21, 2012
Messages
69
I have arthritis, in my neck, shoulder blades, lower back and knees.
I will get ahead of my rx schedule and have to go 5 to 7 days without and it is wretched.
They have me on Xanax, Soma and Norco. If I don't take the drugs I am in serious pain, if I do take the drugs
I am a mess. I also smoke the Green because it helps the joint pain, sleep Thyroid disease 8(and appetite.


I start to feel better after about the 4th to 5th day of no meds but when I know my refills are ready, like a dumbass I go and get them and start all over.
I can kick but I don't have the power to stay away and the Doc seems to be more than happy to write the scripts. I DO have r-arthritis but I am at a loss as to what to do.

I don't want to tell this to my Doc and have him pull my scripts because I am afraid of the pain I will have to deal with.

Then the addiction side kicks in and I over medicate because of the pain. Doc also says I have PTSD and Fibromialga (sp)
I want to reduce my usage.
 
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Would you be willing to start out just by taking less? You say you're over-medicating yourself. To me, that means you are taking more than enough to kill the pain. And, hey man- those pills are fucking addictive. I know I have a hard time laying off them. But one thing I found is that I can take a little less- and your body will adjust to it. Maybe that could be your first step. How much do you take per day?
 
4 750 Norco's
4 350mg Soma's
4 1mg of Xanax 4x daily

I am addicted to this shit man, if I could go to rehab, id be gone. That's my smart side, my partying side always says, take one more... Now, I cant just take one kind, I have to take 3 or 4 Xanax and 3 or 4 soma at the same time and it only lasts about a hour.
I do physical therapy for the arthritis but it doesn't help, it is rheumatoid arthritis , not using anything as a excuse but some mornings I cant tie my shoes without some kind of muscle relaxer and pain killer.

When I do go for 3-4 days with no meds, I start to mentally feel better but I physically feel like I cant breath and the agoraphobia kicks my ass. I get to where I am afraid to answer the phone, get the mail and if the doorbell rings, I about have a heart attack.
 
Have you tried looking into topical creams for the pain? There are some doctors willing to try a custom script which needs to be specially compounded for pain- which includes prescription strength muscle relaxers.
 
I did not know about the cream, not that I'm looking for one but does it buzz you up? I'm hoping not.
I know the "taper method" and can get through it and like I said last for about 7 to 9 days tops and then my addiction
completely takes over between that and the pain, I would run over my own grandmother to get to the pharmacy (figuratively speaking of course)
I didn't start partying until college when I was 17, ill be 40 this year so I know I am an addict.
I wonder how much pain comes from the addiction and not the arthritis.
It is a sad state and I feel hopeless. Im going to start a voluntary taper Monday and need someone / somewhere to talk to,
is there a board on here that is appropriate ? Thanks so much to rx_pm and theseeker your replies I feel at this point could be
make or break for me because no one in my personal life understands this crap.
 
Jnk said:
I wonder how much pain comes from the addiction and not the arthritis.
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This is a very good question. I would be willing to bet that a lot of it might come from the addiction. Opioids make you hyper-sensitive to pain and can cause pain without any physical stimulus for that pain. I'm curious, were you using opioids or benzos or anything before you were diagnosed with fibromyalgia? I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but my doctor says it might be largely drug-induced. Since quitting opioids my pain is actually no worse than when I was taking them (except during acute withdrawal it was worse of course). And I'm hoping it will improve, I was on opioids for most of my life so we'll see how things go, it may take a while to recover from.
 
Physical and psychological pain feed off of each other. Your disorders and meds suggest that you have both. Now I don't think that your treatment plan is doing all that well to manage your physical pain, and you are left a mess and riding the roller-coaster of addiction. When your mind does not feel sufficiently medicated, you feel depressed and will tend to run with anything to feel upset about. Physical pain is a great candidate for your lamentations as your mind is absent from its "help."

I think that with some better care for your mind, you can overhaul the way you handle the physical pain. While addicted, it is harder to eat well or exercise. But at least I know that when I feel strong and nourished, I can take on more. When I don't take care of myself, forget playing tackle football. That hurts! But when I feel fit, bring it on!

I have PTSD too, so I can relate. The best treatment is to stay busy. Opening up to others helps too, so talk with us if you don't have people in real life. Get healthy, get active, stay busy. Have a word with a doctor about Lyrica or Neurontin for pain.
 
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rx_prn said:
Have you tried looking into topical creams for the pain? There are some doctors willing to try a custom script which needs to be specially compounded for pain- which includes prescription strength muscle relaxers.
Click to expand...

^ great recommendation as always from a fantastic moderator!

I'd also suggest seeking therapy for the OP, as it could help reduce usage for sure.
 
^Absolutely. One type that can help with PTSD (and with learning how to better mentally cope with pain, how to unlearn addictive behaviours and replace them with healthier behaviours, etc) is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (or "CBT").

CBT has been shown to be effective in the treatment of PTSD and all anxiety disorders. Some studies have found it more effective than drugs (and it's obviously much healthier and longer-lasting, more of a solution than a temporary band-aid).

Specialized addiction therapy and other methods to help one recover from addiction (meetings, self-help, whatever) are a wise idea too.

Also, Jnk, what is "sleep thyroid disease"?
 
What is most likely happening because you begin to feel better at day four or five of running out but then begin to feel very scared is that you are getting over the withdraws from the opiates but the withdraws from the benzos are still hitting hard. IMO swimmingdancer is absolutely correct in thinking that the opiates have started to make your pain much worse instead of making it better. Also if you fibro started after you were on the benzos and especially the opiates then this in also pain caused by the mind in order to drive you to use more of the opiates. It also may be caused by the underlying condition that the benzos are taken for. If I were you I would set something like this up the next time you are to pick your prescriptions up. Have a good friend or family member that you trust and have previously asked to come with so that you can have them hold onto the opiates for at least one more week. This should give you time to see if your pain continues to get better. Please be aware that the fibro pain you have, if opiate induced may take a little while to go away, but if you are like me it will go away fully. I believe if you are able to stay off the pain meds you will receive a beautiful gift of having allot less pain. Then I think if you stay on the xanax, you will then not have the terrible fear that you are experiencing. Xanax withdraw can be amazingly rough, generalized anxiety and debilitating unwarranted fear, also constantly running out of xanax, as well as being really unpleasant is also dangerous. Going through withdrawl every month is miserable and is terrible for your body. I have been there<3. So if you are able to have someone take your prescription of opiates and hold onto them for a week I think you will realize that the only reason you are taking them any longer is the addiction. You will also start to feel allot better during this time. Please just take your xanax like prescribed. First try and dump the opiates. then see how you are feeling just on the xanax and muscle relaxers. oh and i would dump the MR too as I feel they are kinda worthless unless you are having muscle spasms and I feel you will get relief from the fibro in time, it gets a little better every day and in a month or two may go away completely. please keep us informed as to how its going. hang in there, getting off this stuff takes a bit, but is so worth it. You can do this<3=D
 
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Thanks to all for your info. Yea, Im ready to get off this shit. If the pain persist then Ill go from there.
Im going to need you guys, yes. I am totally dosed right now and everything is fine, I don't have a "drug problem"
see my mind fuks me up. Frankly I like to be high because it kills the ptsd and agoraphobia As well as the pain.
Still gonna taper starting Monday and just so you guys know, I don't have any problems with pain killers. I
can go weeks and weeks without them, its the soma and the Xanax that's got me, and I think its the Xanax more than anything.

This is a light day for me (see Below)


EDIT: Hey Jnk.. I just had to snip that photo out as it be a trigger for someone else.. please see the special triggering guidelines for the recovery section in the pink sticky threads of sober living.. hope you are having a great night and I think you came to a great realization. You can definitely do this.

triggering guidelines here http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...for-Social-Threads-PLEASE-READ-BEFORE-POSTING
 
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I am very sorry, please forgive me. wont happen again!!
 
opiates are out of the house, Im going to try it, though I really have the problem with the Xanax & soma combo, I read where some metabolizes into metobromide (sp) then mixed with the Xanax, ive actually forgotten I took my does, took another one and had seizures because I overdosed. The sick and scary part of that was, the high was amazing but Im probably lucky to be alive.

RedLeader, you gave me a understanding ive been looking for but could not find. Thank you

I am getting lit up tonight, last time, taper and new diet start tomorrow. I just checked my soma and I just got them on the 22nd, 60 of them and I have 4 left so Im pushing upwards to 10 350mg somas a day so I am thinking that since it is a MR, when I withdrawal from it my muscles hurt like hell. I read where THC lubricates your joints and relaxes your muscles, would I be stupid to smoke a little during this process. ?? How about a cocktail or 2?
Thanks Ladies and Gents.
 
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Jnk said:
RedLeader, you gave me a understanding ive been looking for but could not find. Thank you
Click to expand...

You're welcome.

Personally, I think marijuana can help detox. But if you are prone to anxiety when stoned, I would be careful. But physically, marijuana is very safe, so it's your call.

Since you are going off of Xanax, steer clear of alcohol. Benzos can help an alcohol detox, but the other way around is not a good idea. It's not safe (can make anxiety compound and get more physical, and can cause seizures in the extreme case). It is also very easy to get a buzz going and decide to pop a few pills. I know that I will relapse if I drink, so I keep alcohol out of the equation.

I really like doxylamine succinate as a sleep aid. This is what is in nyquil that makes you drowsy, and most stores sell it alone in pill form (over the counter). If money allows, check out 5-htp, l-theanine, valerian root, hops, passionflower, skullcap and kava kava as over-the-counter de-stressors.

stay clean for two weeks and you will feel better than you have in ages. Money-back guarantee!
 
Ok, took the rest of my soma, Norco is out of the house, crown royal is put away and I am praying to get clean and pain free. Xanax will be on a taper basis and I will go from there. The rubber meets the road when my refills are due, if I get them refilled, I failed. My back is killing me. I have the week off to rest, eat well, try to sleep and cope with this undertaking. If anyone would be interested in teaming up and getting clean with me, let me know, Im game and we can be a support system for each other.
Ok so, here we go....
Thanks to everyone for your support, it means the world to me , I feel like if I don't change my addictive ways, arthritis, ptsd, agoraphobia , what have ya, these pills are going to kill me, or Ill accidentally kill myself . Im scared depressed and worried because this has been a lifestyle for me for over 10 years, especially with the Xanax. Time for a change!
Ill be checking In here everyday, with progress reports and seeking advice. Thank you all again.
 
I think it's very wise to slowly taper the Xanax. Xanax withdrawal after long-term use is no joke, plus you don't want to be quitting 3 meds + alcohol all at once. I sure know what you mean about it being scary to quit drugs after so many years of use! Remember that during the early stages your pain, anxiety and depression may feel worse, that's normal, but don't assume that is going to be the way you will always feel and start rationalizing that you have no choice but to go back to drugs. An addiction can make us irrational when we take it away and mistakenly convince us that our suffering is endless and can only be relieved by going back on the drug. Try to be mindful of those addictive thoughts and recognize them for what they are. Make sure you constantly remind yourself that it will get better. I'm glad you have a week off to help make this time more comfortable for you. Do you have any support system or someone you can talk to in your life while you're doing this? Any techniques you are going to use to help cope?
 
If you're having trouble controlling your use, I've had success with having a loved one dole out my pills... sometimes it's best to relinquish control.
 
Ketamike said:
If you're having trouble controlling your use, I've had success with having a loved one dole out my pills... sometimes it's best to relinquish control.
Click to expand...

Very good advice IMO.

Just make sure it's someone you trust, and they keep them locked up somewhere so you aren't tempted.
 
everything is going alright, all my teeth hurt, I have vertigo sometimes, a lil smoking REALLY helps take the edge off , I almost forget im going through something.
Day 3 no soma at all, cold turkey.
 
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