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Humiliation

As a gay man men like Jamshyd and I are telling you that if a bisexual or gay man does come onto you or hugs you, or if any man gets too close do not attack him or hurt him. Just tell him no thanks.

Have you ever talked to anyone about what happened to you when you were younger? I don't think the being "forced" to suck cock and be humiliated by a man and all that is going to help or do much for you TBH.

Maybe you should just keep it a fantasy that's not ever going to happen? Or get your girlfriend to do more kinky things to you during sex?
 
Unbreakable said:
I am more into the whole rape fantasy..... You would be surprised how many girls like that fantasy....
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"Rape fantasy" is an oxymoron in the sense that a girl desires rape. Makes zero sense to me, and I think out of respect for victims of sexual assualt those who are inclined towards rough sex fantasies shouldn't confuse it with rape.
 
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^ Bit too forceful, mate.

Skoat said:
Who are you to decide as such?
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I know a lot about various areas of human psychology, I'm a bit of a voyeur in that sense, I've always been analyzing people since I was a teenager, and I have been told by various people in the field that I have great insight...so, whilst it may not be fact, it's better than just anyone's guess.
K'd-OUT-in-AZ said:
So I guess I am fucked up then, that's a shame because I'd never go to therapy. I've seen one before and I knew the very answers they were going to give me, it was like talking to myself

.........................

And as for self-image problems...well, shit just look at my profile pic! I've got a fucked up face and a big noes. I don't know how I've got such a hot girlfriend. I just don't know how I can get past this fantasy of mine, if just sounds so damn sexy, but thank you for all the advice!
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OP - what branch of psychiatry/psychotherapy did you go for??

Cognitive psychotherapy, or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in particular would be very useful.

Also - whoever suggested MDMA - mmm, if you used 60-70mg for instance during a session of psychotherapy, I think you would find it help you lose that feeling of tension, like they were saying stuff you already knew - although if they're telling you stuff, I'd hazrd a guess you went to a psychiatrist?

ALso - from what I can see of your profile picture, you're a very good looking dude - this is what I mean, don't be so hard on yourself, and learn to love yourself as you should be.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I don't think that is how he thinks about it.

It isn't uncommon for people who have been raped, to have been aroused or even had an orgasm during the rape/sexual violence/trauma. This does not mean that the person enjoyed it, or even liked any part of it whatsoever. These are just physical responses to external stimuluses.

For people who have had this sort of thing happen to them, it is common they will then be fixated upon it in a sexual manner, NOT because they think "oh it'll turn me on, it's my earliest memory of sex!" (the first time many people have sex, is not pleasant, even if it is consensual), but because they have a subconscious association to sex for their entire life, to the trauma.
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being raped is still sex and as a result the first time will tend to stick in your mind and have a powerfull imprint, which explains why his fantasy is similar to what happened to him when he was a child.

you would be surprised how often people repeat behaviours without realising why
 
Just because they do so, does not mean it's healthy.

THat is EXACTLY like saying that if you were repeatedly molested as a child, that sort of thing is acceptable as you grow up - which is what is the case with most paedophiles - as they grow up, the conditioning makes them think it's an acceptable thing to do, whereas really it's quite abhorrent, they just don't know better.

I'm not saying it's the same, but in terms of nurturing and conditioning of a child's psyche - it plays a good example.
 
Jblazingphoenix100 said:
Just because they do so, does not mean it's healthy.

THat is EXACTLY like saying that if you were repeatedly molested as a child, that sort of thing is acceptable as you grow up - which is what is the case with most paedophiles - as they grow up, the conditioning makes them think it's an acceptable thing to do, whereas really it's quite abhorrent, they just don't know better.

I'm not saying it's the same, but in terms of nurturing and conditioning of a child's psyche - it plays a good example.
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i never said it was healthy- i said the opposite in fact. why does this thread seem to have made everyone think that people are disagreeing with them when they are not? its gone a bit emotional;)

all i said was that the reason why it is cropping up in his head as a fantasy is because it was imprinted at the time as the first instance of sex in his head. it doesn't mean it a good one as clearly it has self destructive undertones-

i'd advise against acting this situation out as it could let the cat of the bag so to speak, reliving what is clearly a bad memory (like some form of mental torture because you feel that you "deserved" it, which you didn't)
 
To me it sounds like this is just a fetish but you did mention it coming on after having issues with your ex so it sounds like it could be a result of your own feelings about yourself instead of a result of something purely sexual in nature. If that's the case you might want to address the reasons why you feel this way and try to work on them from there. If you believe it's entirely sexual and nothing more then I say there's no reason to feel ashamed about it because it's just a personal fetish and everyone has at least one.
 
I would guess that the rape and the fantasy are unrelated. It's a pretty common fetish.


As to the thoughts of "reliving" it in that sense, I would argue that it is very healthy.

I can't remember the specifics, but I know that they did a study on a bunch of kids who were in a tragic school bus accident. The survivors would play with toy buses and recreate the scene over and over again, and it helped get them through their trauma. I would venture to guess that reliving that kind of trauma on your own terms would be helpful rather than harmful (although one of the dangers of acting out your situation is that with two other parties involved, things could get out of your own hands).

Also, I don't think any of these fantasies necessarily make you bi or gay. I would imagine that it is the very aspect of how humiliating it would be to be forced to perform homosexual acts that would ordinarily be appalling to you is where the arousal comes from. You enjoy the acts in some strange way because they are disgusting to you, and something you would never think of doing on your own.
 
I agree mostly with 3, 4 - but I do respect the the very well worded arguments of Jblazing and severely_etarded

perhaps Skoat is the most right of us all - who the fuck are we to try and decide for the OP?

my points were more like... say a guy likes to be butt-fucked with a huge strap-on, from a beautiful woman. doesn't mean that he was anally raped as a kid, in his formative years. I suppose the kink could be anywhere from related, non-related, or somewhere in between?
 
axl blaze said:
I agree mostly with 3, 4 - but I do respect the the very well worded arguments of Jblazing and severely_etarded

perhaps Skoat is the most right of us all - who the fuck are we to try and decide for the OP?

my points were more like... say a guy likes to be butt-fucked with a huge strap-on, from a beautiful woman. doesn't mean that he was anally raped as a kid, in his formative years. I suppose the kink could be anywhere from related, non-related, or somewhere in between?
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Ya I see your point. But also I read a recent thread some straight guys enjoy anal stimulation (not from another man), but if a straight guy were to get himself to choke on a dick like when he was raped as a child, it seems like it would be a negative experience one desires to relive for a purpose of self-harm/self-mutilation. Especially when the OP already has such negative feelings and low self-esteem etc. That just wouldn't seem healthy to me.

I am not judging OP at all, I just hate to see or encourage somebody to do something that may be harmful to themselves. I just can't imagine it being mentally healthy for a straight guy to choke on a dick. Maybe with therapy OP would rather get fucked with a strap on by g/f, instead of gagging on another dude's cock. I am not trying to judge at all, just think it may do more harm than good to go through with the fantasy, just trying to help <3
 
3 said:
I would guess that the rape and the fantasy are unrelated. It's a pretty common fetish.


As to the thoughts of "reliving" it in that sense, I would argue that it is very healthy.

I can't remember the specifics, but I know that they did a study on a bunch of kids who were in a tragic school bus accident. The survivors would play with toy buses and recreate the scene over and over again, and it helped get them through their trauma. I would venture to guess that reliving that kind of trauma on your own terms would be helpful rather than harmful (although one of the dangers of acting out your situation is that with two other parties involved, things could get out of your own hands).

.
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I think OP may very well have a healthy humiliation fetish, but their may be a healthier way to channel it than being choked on a dick. If he was gay or bi maybe, but he says he's not and I fully believe him. I think it stems from a self-esteem problem and and an underlying feeling of wanting to harm himself, by recreating an event that has caused so much damage to begin with.

I doubt it would be good to buckle up the children and get them in another car accident. Wouldn't it be more similar just to talk it over with someone close to them?
 
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axl blaze said:
perhaps Skoat is the most right of us all - who the fuck are we to try and decide for the OP?

my points were more like... say a guy likes to be butt-fucked with a huge strap-on, from a beautiful woman. doesn't mean that he was anally raped as a kid, in his formative years. I suppose the kink could be anywhere from related, non-related, or somewhere in between?
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Yeah - well Skoat had nothing constructive to add tbh.

Your point, whilst being a fair one, doesn't really hold any ground, because this dude WAS raped, and therfore it makes a whole lot of sense that he does have this particular fantasy.
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severely etarded said:
it seems like it would be a negative experience one desires to relive for a purpose of self-harm/self-mutilation.
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Yes...my stance exactly.
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severely etarded said:
I doubt it would be good to buckle up the children and get them in another car accident. Wouldn't it be more appropriate just to talk it over with someone close to them/trusted by them?
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Fixed, and quoted for truth in reason.

Reliving it, in the most literal meaning of the words used, is a bad idea - "reliving" it by talking it over again and again is cathartic - it works up to where you accept the situation for what it is/was; you can see it from different lights (with the guidance of someone, who knows what questions to ask and cues to add etc, to allow the stream of thought to flow, and not loop), and can therfore, hopefully move on and up.

I can see no valid reason for actually going ahead with a fantasy, that is coming from a place inside oneself that is neither beautiful or healthy - I think it would perpetuate his feelings of low self worth, instead of acting as a way of letting go of all that pain.

OP - what branch of psychiatry/psychotherapy did you go for??

Cognitive psychotherapy, or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in particular would be very useful.

Also - whoever suggested MDMA - mmm, if you used 60-70mg for instance during a session of psychotherapy, I think you would find it help you lose that feeling of tension, like they were saying stuff you already knew - although if they're telling you stuff, I'd hazrd a guess you went to a psychiatrist?

ALso - from what I can see of your profile picture, you're a very good looking dude - this is what I mean, don't be so hard on yourself, and learn to love yourself as you should be.
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I'm just going to quote what I said before so it's reiterated - and I'm going to leave it at that.

I feel this thread has gotten into an unnecessarily argumentative debate on something that is pretty obvious, and not much advice is being given anymore.
 
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i think hookers, money, and detailed instructions would bring your fantasy to reality.

you might also want to film it in case you want to enjoy the "experience" again and can't people to help and don't want to shell out more money and instructions to hookers.
 
Hi there K'd . In my personal opinion there is nothing wrong with your fantasy as long as it is fantasy... I have my own kinks and fetishes much like yours (but more involving crossdressing and less on the cuckolding) and I don't see anything wrong with it.

Where did he state that he was raped? Or that that is the trigger of his fetish?

Are those cravings really that bad? Can you still get sexually stimulated with other sexual acts?

Sometimes *unfortunately* things should be left in your imagination, if you can convince your girlfriend to do this without harming your relationship then I wholeheartly support you. If this is more of an obsession to you then a fantasy then I agree with a few posters before me -> Get your self image sorted out!

The world of sex is so broad, why don't you have a few more experiments?

Social stigma, misunderstanding and prejudice are inevitable in todays society.
 
^ read his posts again...you will see he got raped...then discussion and even arguments ensue about how he got it - we have no PROOF, but I firmly believe it comes from that event.

I totally agree with the experimenting in sex - only bores stay vanilla.
 
if he had this fetish out of nowhere i would say go for it

the fact its almost a replica scenario to the one in which he was raped makes me say HELL NO this is a bad idea
 
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