In reasonable doses of each I think the diphenhydramine should just increase the sedation. A drug interaction checker does say it can increase the effects of benzos, but I have not heard of that being to a dangerous level. It's not like mixing benzos and opioids. I haven't personally noticed any respiratory depression from taking diphenhydramine while taking benzos. If you found hydroxyzine (Atarax) fine, then diphenhydramine should be fine too I'd assume.
Also a lot of people don't know this but less is more when it comes to diphenhydramine, you only need to take a low dose (like 25-75mg). Low doses you will get the antihistamine effect, which causes sedation, calmness, and reduce symptoms of allergies etc. Higher doses change the effects, and make it more stimulating (and not in a fun/pleasant way IMO).