50 mgs diazepam spread through the day (tapering from insane doses, lucky I found a decent doc, and that he doesn't know I do things like...
200mgs oral morphine (time release caps, little beads chewed but still slow-acting, and my tolerance seems to have been jacked waaay up by two recent high-dose DHC sessions. Would much rather have had a fistful of DHC, but overpriced zomorph 10s were all I could get. Tempted to try the local dope tomorrow, having found a connect...bad idea, of course, but...fuck it).
600 mgs Gabapentin to prevent my exceeding 50mgs of Valium, my current taper dose. I do find it helps smoothe out benzo withdrawal, and I had a few bad days of breaking my taper-limit when I found some long-forgotten 3mg Xanax triangles buried deep in my desk earlier this week.
All to get through the post-Yom Kippur blues. Wish I had some weed, or preferably, good, traditional North African hash, but prices are crazy here. and all that's around is name-brand hydro shit that's beyond my budget, and too trippy for the place I'm in. Ah, for just one joint of Thai, sweet Thai...or one of those ten gram staves of Morrocan hash. Why is it so often the decent, friendly dealers of quality and harmless herb who get busted? Prob'ly cos they're friendly and decent.
Envying all the hole-divers, but K's out of reach for now...probably a good thing, 'cos I had that shit in hospital as a child, and every time I have access I end up taking whole grams after MDMA sessions and hole up in places it takes a long time to climb back from...
Disclaimer: the benzo and morph doses, obviously, are appropriate only to a high-tolerance long term pill freak. Don't try this at home unless you've got a habit.