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How High Are You? v. No It's 'Hi, How Are You?'

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No youre not breaking rules; we are just genuinely worried about you. NDMA treatment for depression is just what it is: treatment, not a cure. Drug use/abuse/whatever is not going to help in the long run considering what you have been through in literally just the last 3 months man. I dont mean to sound like a dick considering this is probably the last thing you want to read when youre high on drug but this is serious real talk.
 
2mg tizanidine
10mg methadone
2mg etizolam
1mg Xanax
A a bit of some really good cannabis, but it's not a indicia so I don't like it that much

Oh, and sipping on some wild turkey 101...on 'the rock' -- I just pour a bit and use one ice cube. Been drinking bourbon lately. Not much, non clear alcohols give me headaches if I drink much. Just like the taste. Wish I could afford some scotch.

Also picked up a (kinda overpriced) 100ml bottle of Jack Daniels. Seemed like watered down bourbon after drinking the stronger wild turkey. And a regular bottle is like what, the same price? The turkey is just 20, and great for the price.
 
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drinkin on a double IPL and rollin up a fatty for the ride up to mah boy's, thinkin bout maybe some SnES tonight, or maybe just netflix. who knows, gotta get there first %)

before I forget *TRYPTAMINE DREAMER* dude please listen to Seyer, and reconsider the use of any dissociative/hallucinogenic/NMDA whatever things you are ingesting. We want to see you happy and it is evident that tripping or trying to leave your depression by escaping your physical body is NOT WORKING! I am only saying this out of caring but seriously dude, you've got to stop!! Please seek some help off of BL. seriously not trying to be a downer....
 
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Seyer said:
No youre not breaking rules; we are just genuinely worried about you. NDMA treatment for depression is just what it is: treatment, not a cure. Drug use/abuse/whatever is not going to help in the long run considering what you have been through in literally just the last 3 months man. I dont mean to sound like a dick considering this is probably the last thing you want to read when youre high on drug but this is serious real talk.
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I've tried explaining this to him various times, he seems to not take this part seriously but still wonder why he is severely depressed.

TD: i'm depressed too man , trust me i am. But i'm not at the point of wanting to kill my self, i think all these foreign RC's you are putting in your body are really fucking with your mind.
Seriously just try and take a break, stick to your prescriptions and do something different. Walk around your block every night, try exercising, do something man. What you are doing now is NOT working for you.
 
OT: Victory Dirt Wolf (8.7% DIPA)
Clonazepam and WGFJ
a bowl of dank
probably close to a fifth of cheap whiskey depending...

TD: The only reason I bother to post is because I know how you feel. I haven't been in the exact same boat of course. But I can at least guess at what it's like. I'm not perfect either. Even though I live a normal functional life I drink and smoke lots of pot everyday to deal with a serious case of rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. I was hospitalized many times before accepting the diagnosis. I had read psychology books for years so before they told me I already knew what I had. When I told my family I was bipolar nobody was suprised. My dad smiled and said "son I knew your were crazy years ago. Now you just have a label to go with it." Well I may be crazy but I'll be damned if I don't do anything about it.

I quit doing hard drugs. I can't believe I did that. I quit a lot of negative things that were making my condition worse. And I started doing some postitive things like ride my bike to work and that kind of thing. And still things are pretty shitty I gotta be honest. But I've been worse. I've been a lot worse. I never thoughf I'd support myself. I do and have for over a year. I don't make much but I work hard as a cook. I can move up in the industry when I'm ready. I'm smart with my money and eat at the restaraunt. I don't buy shit I don't need. Just weed and booze for recration\self-medication. And so it's not like I'm even "clean" by some definitions. And yet I am going forward in life everyday. I'm taking some winter classes and fall classes for college this year. A couple month ago I quit smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco. I'm just constantly working on ways to better myself and making sure that once I improve an area I keep it that way. I don't pretend to be perfect or have all the answers but if you want to talk send me a pm or give this a reply. Just trying to look out man. The only reason I even log on is to help people so let me help if you are willing.
 
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weekend addiction said:
OT: Victory Dirt Wolf (8.7% DIPA)
Clonazepam and WGFJ
a bowl of dank
probably close to a fifth of cheap whiskey depending...

TD: The only reason I bother to post is because I know how you feel. I haven't been in the exact same boat of course. But I can at least guess at what it's like. I'm not perfect either. Even though I live a normal functional life I drink and smoke lots of pot everyday to deal with a serious case of rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. I was hospitalized many times before accepting the diagnosis. I had read psychology books for years so before they told me I already knew what I had. When I told my family I was bipolar nobody was suprised. My dad smiled and said "son I knew your were crazy years ago. Now you just have a label to go with it." Well I may be crazy but I'll be damned if I don't do anything about it.

I quit doing hard drugs. I can't believe I did that. I quit a lot of negative things that were making my condition worse. And I started doing some postitive things like ride my bike to work and that kind of thing. And still things are pretty shitty I gotta be honest. But I've been worse. I've been a lot worse. I never thoughf I'd support myself. I do and have for over a year. I don't make much but I work hard as a cook. I can move up in the industry when I'm ready. I'm smart with my money and eat at the restaraunt. I don't buy shit I don't need. Just weed and booze for recration\self-medication. And so it's not like I'm even "clean" by some definitions. And yet I am going forward in life everyday. I'm taking some winter classes and fall classes for college this year. A couple month ago I quit smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco. I'm just constantly working on ways to better myself and making sure that once I improve an area I keep it that way. I don't pretend to be perfect or have all the answers but if you want to talk send me a pm or give this a reply. Just trying to look out man. The only reason I even log on is to help people so let me help if you are willing.
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n1, keep it going.

Morning oxy, a quarter of my usual dose 1.5 OC 40s and no oxy norm.

so not high, or barely comfortable. Shoulda listened to my last surgeon who said if i carry on with the strong opiates im gonna become pathetic. Gonna suck the coating off an OC 80, that should give me a boost.
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
n1, keep it going.

Morning oxy, a quarter of my usual dose 1.5 OC 40s and no oxy norm.

so not high, or barely comfortable. Shoulda listened to my last surgeon who said if i carry on with the strong opiates im gonna become pathetic. Gonna suck the coating off an OC 80, that should give me a boost.
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Said fk it and low and behold when I phoned my script was there. So I took an 80 now for something to watch. what is studying ?
 
Like Seyer says, no one could be mad at you for what you're feeling TD... hell, I'm glad you have a place like BL to come and talk it out instead of holding it all inside.

We're just extremely worried you're going to do something dumb, no one wants to see something bad happen to you man... I think we've all become extremely sympathetic these last few months. Not that you're someone to be looked on with pity, just that we know you've been going through hell on earth and could use a break from the shit.


I know you're probably not religious, and maybe this will mean nothing to you... but I'm praying for you man, so at least you know that someone is rooting for you.


Peace and love, brother
 
200mg iv morphine
50mg valium
coffee n cig
bout to burn a little green as the sedation and coincided relaxation of the valium is becoming well pronounced.

love refill day!
 
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