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How High Are You? v. No It's 'Hi, How Are You?'

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You did heroin for the first time and got no euphoria? What opiate is it you are addicted to then? Because if you dont have an opiate addiction that wasn't actually heroin you took.
 
^ i concur. fentanyl just makes me feel numb without much of the euphoria other strong opioids give me. concerning that morphine and heroin are still the gold standard for me although oxycodone, buprenorphine and (levo)methadone are all good in their own right.
speaking of which i'd been doing way too much smack recently so i lay off this week. no WDs to speak of but i got a new benzo script yesterday and did a veritable shitload - 10mgs alprazolam, 250mgs prazepam, 2.5mgs brotizolam - over the course of several hours without ever getting that magical benzo feeling of simply not giving a fuck. and I absolutely do not get it. because it's been two weeks since i ran out of my last script and in the meantime did maybe 40 10mg diazepam but never in doses exceeding 50mg and it's been about a week or so since my last dose. so my tolerance is baffling to say the least. tempted to do 20mgs alprazolam and 2.5mgs of brotizolam now but then i would soon would have to go out and find another doc who's as generous with his benzo scripts my GP is and that's not going to be easy. fuck it. lets give it a go.
 
Got a nice little free opiate buzz going. 4mgs of Suboxone film+smoking on some dank cannabis throughout the day.
 
Not high enough! Opened drawer this morning to find id raided my "need these later" stash last night.. ehhhh.

Opened my wallet to find i didnt leave any dollars for later either. Ehhh.

Mightnt be dependant on anything at the moment, but still living in junkyland.
 
Took 16mg Buprenorphine this morning, along with a line of crystal.

Worked 5 hours, got home.

Sniffed 4 lines crystal (no pizo). 10 minutes later I enjoyed a bowl of Sour D topped with Super Lemon Haze wax.

Have 6mg clonazepam, 600mg gabapentin, a cannabis edible and some more bowls set aside for later. Currently awaiting a bit more crystal and some molly powder. I love my connect.
 
High enough that i just realised while looking for "that one i mustve lost last night" that im not not high enough, im just scattered as fk.
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
just woke up too early. depro(crying), the fate of my country, the fate of my family, my horrific dependance to oxycodone, the usual. 60 mgs oxy not enough, sigh gonna have to walk to my cabinet now and get more.
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I've been there. I was eating/sniffing/shooting 160mgs of OxyContin a day 6-7 years ago, for a duration of about 2.5 years (obviously my tolerance didn't start out that high, 10mg would have me nodding in the beginning). I just sort of watched myself in third person as I destroyed my life. Honestly, It was like a movie. Watching and waiting to see just how many times the ATM will give me cash when I've been overdrafted for 2 weeks already. Losing my friends respect. Stealing. My heart goes out to you.

Quitting Oxy hurts, especially your bones (at least in my experience). I cannot recommend strongly enough that you end this cycle before it gets any worse, and from your description it sounds like it's already out of control. If you can't Cold Turkey it because of work etc--and let's be honest it's fuckin hell on Earth--then try to wean yourself down/off. If you don't have the strength/will power to wean yourself (many don't; I haven't been able to) then find a Suboxone Dr. immediately or join a Methadone Clinic. Methadone is not as bad as every one everywhere says. I loved it, and its super easy to lower your dose with the automatic liquid dispenser--especially considering you can consider the speed they cut your dose back.. Or try Kratom, the point is, you need to do something before you are homeless with a needle in your arm.

If you ever want to chat about quitting oxycodone PM me anytime, I know what it's like. I'm by no means perfect now, I still use a lot of other drugs fairly heavily, but do a much better job of keeping everything under control, my family loves me, I have friends again and I can hold down a job. It's not half bad.
 
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Can't wait to get some h just a couple more days. =D

Im ripped Just finishing off the 8th I got last night. It twas some good Oregon buds that my buddy has been making runs for lately.
Seems to be a growing trend.
 
37.5mg hydrocodone, 4mg alprazolam/Xanax, 150mg pregabalin/Lyrica, 50mg diphenhydramine, and cimetidine as a potentiator.

I may smoke a little weed in a few minutes.
I am in a very pleasant state of mind. I feel like I am bathed in love. I wonder, where it is coming from?
Things seem fine in my little corner of space and time. I hope the same is true for you (whoever happens to read this message).

Sorry for being an asshole and freaking people out with my reckless drug abuse and not giving a fuck. I don't try to be that way. I guess I could just keep it to myself when I am like that, but I know a lot of you want to see me do well and if I keep all the bad things to myself, I will be more likely to just disappear from Bluelight forever unless someone finds out why I have gone away and makes a place for me in the Bluelight shrine.

It doesn't seem that anyone wants me to end up there or disappear without a trace and I think this flickering candle in the dark night may be able to illuminate some of the darkness before it burns out and the smoke left behind disperses like a vapor that may fade to nothing or collapse into another form in another place in time and space to do something else with a new name and a different face. I guess there are some things I will never know here. Maybe this is all there is or maybe there is something brilliant or darker than the longest blackest night waiting for you or I or all of us when we leave this beautiful, sad, fucked up world. I guess while we are here, we have to try to make things better for all who inhabit this orb. This will make our own lives better and prevent much pain for those who inherit the Earth when we leave it behind for future generations.

Maybe my sentiment makes me sound like a weak nutty pussy or a fucking crazy nut but I really don't care - I know what I feel and I will express it however I like, even if it makes me sound like a fucking fool. I have had difficulty convincing the people who know me best that I am just a rotten nut that should be discarded like trash and maybe it is time I listen to them. If anyone would like to say something mean or degrading to me for what I have said, go right ahead. My ears are always open to whatever criticism or condemnation you might have to offer.

I don't want anyone to be nice to me unless that brings them happiness and peace of mind. If trying to make me feel bad makes you feel good, I really want you to do that. Do what you want to do.

Now I am going to just chill out and listen to some music. Cas Haley sounds pretty much perfect when I feel like this, so I am going to smoke a hit or two of weed and listen to his beautiful music that just goes great with the substances I have in my system right now.

Also, if you think the doses I listed are excessive, please call me out on it. You may think I just ignore the advice I am given, but I do tone things down when people start to really worry and try to get me to stop, even if I don't tone it down as much as I need to. It is quite likely that my life has been saved by concerned Bluelighters in the past. Special thanks goes to stardust.hero and herbevore, but many others have helped me in difficult times and talked at least some sense into me, for which I am truly grateful. Anyone who has tried to reach out and help me or give advice have my appreciation even if I felt at first like I was being bothered by people who should leave me the fuck alone while I endanger my life with reckless drug abuse or going a week without food, just small amounts of water, and when forced, some gatorade and fruit juice. I did eat some yesterday. I'll try to make myself eat something before I go to bed. I had a seizure late Wed. afternoon. I talked to my counselor yesterday and he did not know whether the seizure was from no food, not much water, and very litte else to drink for a week or from drugs but did say I could have another seizure or a fatal arrhythmia or sudden cardiac death if I did not start eating and drinking more than small amounts of water. I have forced myself to drink some gatorade and a can of ensure today and will try to force myself to eat at least a small or medium size snack because my counselor said such lack of nutrition and resuting elecrolyte imbalances could potentially cause a seizure or even a fatal arrhythmia or sudden cardiac death.

I am trying to take better care of myself now. I'll let my fellow Bluelighters know how I doing with that in a day or two. I think my condition has improved. I am not sure. Usually I have thoughts constantly rushing through my mind - mostly about suffering, torture, death, suicide, and how futile and pointless it is to try to do anything to help animals or other humans. Those thoughts were running through my mind constantly. Now my mind seems quiet and I don't have any kind of thoughts running through my mind unless I want to think about something. That does not seem natural to me. I fell asleep writing this for like 5 or 6 hours. Was going to say more but now I don't know what it was,

This change in thinking is strange and I hope it is not brain damage.

Guess I'll have the weed now, listen to that music, and go back to sleep.

Peace out, bluelight
%)
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
Normal off usual morning oxydose (160-180 mgs) but running out.
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bought a 2 gram sack of herion, wasn't as vinegary as last time but def getting me higher(just had a tiny tester line), nice to know this will maybe cover me till oxy time. 2nd tester and I'm where I wanna be.

Edit: im so high almost at puking point from those 2 testers thank gosh I didn't have a normal oxy-size line.

wow just surfaced from a 3 hour nod. pooooootent shiz.

Edit 2.0: oxy and herion mix, its niiiiiice. Precious lil oxy left tho.
 
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Tryptamine*Dreamer said:
37.5mg hydrocodone, 4mg alprazolam/Xanax, 150mg pregabalin/Lyrica, 50mg diphenhydramine, and cimetidine as a potentiator.

I may smoke a little weed in a few minutes.
I am in a very pleasant state of mind. I feel like I am bathed in love. I wonder, where it is coming from?
Things seem fine in my little corner of space and time. I hope the same is true for you (whoever happens to read this message).

Sorry for being an asshole and freaking people out with my reckless drug abuse and not giving a fuck. I don't try to be that way. I guess I could just keep it to myself when I am like that, but I know a lot of you want to see me do well and if I keep all the bad things to myself, I will be more likely to just disappear from Bluelight forever unless someone finds out why I have gone away and makes a place for me in the Bluelight shrine.

It doesn't seem that anyone wants me to end up there or disappear without a trace and I think this flickering candle in the dark night may be able to illuminate some of the darkness before it burns out and the smoke left behind disperses like a vapor that may fade to nothing or collapse into another form in another place in time and space to do something else with a new name and a different face. I guess there are some things I will never know here. Maybe this is all there is or maybe there is something brilliant or darker than the longest blackest night waiting for you or I or all of us when we leave this beautiful, sad, fucked up world. I guess while we are here, we have to try to make things better for all who inhabit this orb. This will make our own lives better and prevent much pain for those who inherit the Earth when we leave it behind for future generations.

Maybe my sentiment makes me sound like a weak nutty pussy or a fucking crazy nut but I really don't care - I know what I feel and I will express it however I like, even if it makes me sound like a fucking fool. I have had difficulty convincing the people who know me best that I am just a rotten nut that should be discarded like trash and maybe it is time I listen to them. If anyone would like to say something mean or degrading to me for what I have said, go right ahead. My ears are always open to whatever criticism or condemnation you might have to offer.

I don't want anyone to be nice to me unless that brings them happiness and peace of mind. If trying to make me feel bad makes you feel good, I really want you to do that. Do what you want to do.

Now I am going to just chill out and listen to some music. Cas Haley sounds pretty much perfect when I feel like this, so I am going to smoke a hit or two of weed and listen to his beautiful music that just goes great with the substances I have in my system right now.

Also, if you think the doses I listed are excessive, please call me out on it. You may think I just ignore the advice I am given, but I do tone things down when people start to really worry and try to get me to stop, even if I don't tone it down as much as I need to. It is quite likely that my life has been saved by concerned Bluelighters in the past. Special thanks goes to stardust.hero and herbevore, but many others have helped me in difficult times and talked at least some sense into me, for which I am truly grateful. Anyone who has tried to reach out and help me or give advice have my appreciation even if I felt at first like I was being bothered by people who should leave me the fuck alone while I endanger my life with reckless drug abuse or going a week without food, just small amounts of water, and when forced, some gatorade and fruit juice. I did eat some yesterday. I'll try to make myself eat something before I go to bed. I had a seizure late Wed. afternoon. I talked to my counselor yesterday and he did not know whether the seizure was from no food, not much water, and very litte else to drink for a week or from drugs but did say I could have another seizure or a fatal arrhythmia or sudden cardiac death if I did not start eating and drinking more than small amounts of water. I have forced myself to drink some gatorade and a can of ensure today and will try to force myself to eat at least a small or medium size snack because my counselor said such lack of nutrition and resuting elecrolyte imbalances could potentially cause a seizure or even a fatal arrhythmia or sudden cardiac death.

I am trying to take better care of myself now. I'll let my fellow Bluelighters know how I doing with that in a day or two. I think my condition has improved. I am not sure. Usually I have thoughts constantly rushing through my mind - mostly about suffering, torture, death, suicide, and how futile and pointless it is to try to do anything to help animals or other humans. Those thoughts were running through my mind constantly. Now my mind seems quiet and I don't have any kind of thoughts running through my mind unless I want to think about something. That does not seem natural to me. I fell asleep writing this for like 5 or 6 hours. Was going to say more but now I don't know what it was,

This change in thinking is strange and I hope it is not brain damage.

Guess I'll have the weed now, listen to that music, and go back to sleep.

Peace out, bluelight
%)
Click to expand...

Glad you're doing better. Stay positive man.
 
Bout to be supa dupa high. Coming down off 900mg dxm polystrix and going to pick up a half gram of some fire ron. First line should feel fucking fantastic...or else.

I have this weird infatuation with money right now specifically 20 dollar bills ha its the funniest thingever. Dxm is messing with my head. Its soooo weird but no joke man Ilaying here in bed and have been counting my twentys for like half hour. The way they feel the way they sound when they touch each other as u count them and the way they smell ahhh mannnn I swear im getting some type of sexual pleasure but im not thinking too much about it I just think it's fucking hilarious. So I just keep doing it cause it feels good. I have nnever had this happen to me ha
 
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