For the 1st time in over...12+ years, I've woken up for 6 days in a row, not taking anything, not having to swallow a pill besides my Thyroid Med., (I have no thyroid-so that is more than necessary), 900mg. Gabapentin& 3 Tylenol.No more methadone.. Not a Clonazepam, not a half a Hydrocodone ( tho that would be nice&helpful as hell though, as I've rather fucked up the foot...3weeks post surgery, I smashed my foot & one of the screws keeping my metatarsal together has shifted due to me fucking it up rather good- I'd to go to hospital 4days ago & even refused an IV for Morophine. That is not the Emme80 I've known for so long. I HAVE 400+mg. of Methadone, Dilauded, Percocet script , and 40 Vicodin, among a varied supply of downers. All within' arms reach-but I have not extended my arm that direction! Tomorrow will be a first full week of me rather fucking sober. Opposite of anything high. Opposite of having to take anything to simply function! It's odd,l feel like I've been released from prison, walking( limping ) out into this world that I've only known with a fog, a daze and a secret (methadone, etc. & history) under the dose of some narcotic just to get out of bed & face the outside world.
Today, I wake, rather freaking clean. I thought I'd have a...total clarity as if a veil was lifted. I don't. But what I do have is a freedom- one I've not known in 12+years. And I'll take it! So how high am I? Not at all. It 'a strange indeed, and I somehow feel fine. The only thing that is fucked up-my foot .

And my crazy ass mind. So, g'mornin to ya all!
A special big time shout out and huge thank you to trainspotter who stuck with me&all my circular , never ending doubts, questions and annoying thoughts. You ROCK. And to Lorne??? You know your shite & I thank you as well!