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How High Are You? v. I'll Trade You My Shirt For A Grilled Cheese

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Buzzed... Gonna smoke with my neighbor after he gets off work.

The last half of this week is gonna SUCK but what is a t break if not shitty?
 
Had two Ballast Point Sculpin IPAs and a bowl of UK Cheese, whatever that is. It's decent. I'm not as high as I'd expected to be due to how amazing the buds looked.
 
Smoked plenty bong rips about a few hours ago and took 30mg adderall orally.
Drank a pint of liquor

Just took 2mg Xanax to knock it all out and go to sleep it was a decent night.
 
Snorted 15mg D-amp this morning. Drinking beer and turtle heading an adderall-shit.
 
bought 5 grams of china woit in last 2 days, got like 1ish left. It's been a complete nodfest (i been sharing with my buddy) up in here, gonna ingest some more of the greyish chunky stuffz (probs by smoking cos I'm a rapscallion). as well of lots of weed smoking. even smoke weed and drive now. which is very dangerous where I am lolziac.
 
I'm drinking some kratom tea ( I also put chamomille and white tea in it), hopping to have a nice pseudo opiate effect. I'm also out of weed, al least I have ABV weed for latter when the kratom kicks.
 
Made three bags of PST and I'm in nodsville. Combined with copious amounts of weed and like 10mg phenylepherine because my nose was congested.
 
I got some morphine on my hands when drawing up syringes for patients today...may have given me a buzz....I was thinking how wonderful it is to not be on any opiates and for that to even be possible...and not even be tempted to have any for myself (I never have taken anything from a patient anyway) cuz I never want withdrawals again. Life is good. There's always some Klonopin for bedtime tho
 
Feeling nice and high got a nice opiate buzz, watching lord of war with the wife about to smoke camel Turkish gold. Just smoked a half a g of bubba kush, bout to smoke some more.

+10mgs of oral Oxycodone/Tylenol
+50mgs oral Hydrocodone
+4mgs of oral Alprazolam
+75mgs of DPH melt away tablets
 
In total, I've had:

About a gram of some UK Cheese smoked from my bubbler
1lb poppy seed tea
6g valerian root
Some cold green tea
 
I just pissed dirty, fuck, that's another 7 days that I can't go home during the weekends. :|
Smoked a j this weekend, I'm here for needles and more serious shit, but they don't differentiate.


FUCCKKK
 
Haven't been on Bluelight in a while. I guess it was the night after my last post or the next night, I started smoking meth and kept on going at a fast rate of consumption, overdosing on meth. My blood pressure became quite elevated with a number of readings in the 190/110 +/- 12/14 (highest 202/124) and pulse 110 +/- 16 (highest I recall 126) and no readings under 170/99 pulse mid 90s for 6-8 hours with benzos and hydrocodone. I was afraid of stroke and heart attack. I probably used 200mg+ in like 20 hours. I don't use meth much other than small doses when I really need energy, so I did not have a tolerance. My brother said last night while we were smoking more meth that he did like half a gram or even more in a day most often when he was using it. Didn't do nearly as much this time but still more than I should have.

It could be a good thing that OD happened though. I wanted to try shooting it up and I was going to let my brother find the vein. He showed he how much of the bag it would take - about half as much as I did in 20 hours. I do not know what would have happened if I had that much all at once, I think I may have been in really bad trouble. I'm guessing that would raise BP more than smoking twice as much but over 20 hours instead of a few seconds through a vein.

Right now I am high on a quite large dose of meth, 30mg hydrocodone, 1mg alprazolam, and 2mg clonazepam. 600mg cimetidine as a potentiator. Am going to scrape the meth from the sides of the bag and smoke since there is little left. Then maybe some weed. Feel pretty good.

I have had the passing thoughts that I could somehow become a prisoner in my head while my body does things I can't stop it from doing. I know it is all in my head. I'm sure that won't happen, it is just that my consciousness feels like it is entirely in and above my head and there is an emotional disconnect from my mind/inside of my skull and the rest of my body. My consciousness also feels like it is composed of something less dense than normal. I don't think meth can cause that to happen though. DXM did it once and I kept eating ephedra pills without control and it nearly killed me when I was maybe 21 or 22. Even if something like that happens, I doubt it would cause me to go around on a killing spree or anything but I can't think of much worse than being trapped in a body you can't control, just watching it kill. Stupid thing to worry about. I've had the experience of being in my head watching my body do things without input from my conscious mind on DXM and 3-meo-pcp more than once and the only time I did anything bad was when I ate ephedra like candy. I did once upset my mom when I was crawling through the hall repeating the phrase "I am a piece of trash" and I could not stop for a few minutes even though she was telling me to and I wanted to stop. I wonder if those rare incidents of extreme violence by people on PCP are the result of people being trapped in their minds while their bodies do horrible things? Don't think I have to worry about killing anyone if it happens to me on 3-meo-pcp because I can barely get around if I can get off the bed. I wouldn't be strong enough to kill or fast enough to catch anyone who runs unless your body just gets strong after your mind stops controlling it.

Anyway, that last time with meth (the overdose) was much more interesting though the fear for my life and sanity and so on made it difficult to enjoy much or most of it.

During that OD, I felt I would go completely insane during the last 6 hours or so before consuming some seroquel and more benzos. I wanted to come here and post something but that terrified me - I don't know why.

Probably around 20 hours elapsed from the first hit until the last and it was maybe 40 hours from first hit till I fell asleep.

By that last dose, which I took even though my blood pressure was really high, I was seeing what looked like ghosts (transparent and disappearing) going through my room. Most were not human ghosts but ghosts of other animal species. I was connected to reality enough to think it extremely unlikely they were real until I saw what looked like the ghost of one of my pets, that freaked me out and I had to run to his room to see if he was still alive.

I kept having thoughts of being infected with brain parasites. Worms to be precise. I could not get to a point where I was sure it wasn't real as there are quite a few types of worms that can infect the human brain but I figured it wasn't likely. During my deepest depressive episodes, I can believe with certainty something horrible is wrong with my brain and brain worms tend to be the main suspect since I found out they existed when I was 16 or 17.

I started feeling I would completely lose grip on reality after that. I kept thinking about aliens and what kind of things they could be doing to me. I did see small transparent flying saucers before this but up to this point, any thoughts about aliens were just interesting - I knew that I probably wasn't being manipulated by aliens and probably never had (I had problems as a kid and teen feeling like I was part alien or the subject of some kind of experiment. It started as just feeling like I did not belong and was different from other people when I was 5 or 6 but by the time I was 8, I was trying to figure out why I was a fucked up freak. Now a few years ago, I went through a period thinking I was probably the result of incest and rape and that was why I was so screwed up - more logical, I guess.)

Thinking of those flying saucers got me to thinking they might be tools. I kept telling myself it was crazy and this was not like a psychedelic trip so I did not want to lose control. But I have too much in my head about aliens and that has been reinforced by all the DXM trips I've had in recent months with lots of "alien activity" and an extremely powerful 25C-NBOMe trip - maybe an overdose since I lost contact with my body which should not happen on traditional psychedelics that preceded the DXM trips where I was being mindraped by aliens while in a cell made of energy for what seemed a long time until after another alien pulled me up into a spaceship and the mindrape gradually faded into hyperspace and telepathic communication through things on our heads. Not to mention all the dreams I have been having about aliens and the apocalypse (the aliens will bring The Walking Dead virus to Earth to wipe us out in 2028 if a certain dream I had comes true. This went through my head on DXM also).

I started wondering why the fuck they wanted to bother me and so on. I felt like they were using these things to "further" alter my DNA for mind control purposes and change structures and connections in my brain - I'd try to tell myself it is just all that meth. Logic broke here. I had seen one fly through a wall and another through a closed door. Another came flying through that same wall entering my room and then I remembered a time I tripped on 5-meo-amt and a transparent flying saucer flew right into my head and I felt it hit. This seemed like a revelation to me when I remembered that. Showing me they had been doing it all these years. I knew you could see something that wasn't there, but I was so sure nobody could feel a hallucination hit their head. That made it harder to convince myself there were no aliens modifying my genes and altering my brain wiring so they could control me and see through my eyes. I did get my thoughts of aliens under control. It helped remembering some other trips where I had tactile hallucinations that felt like the flying saucer on 5-meo-amt hitting my head without the visual and feeling wet drops from the ceiling hit my face.

I finally somehow got a crazy notion about having tiny spiders in my blood. This was the last really strange thought I got stuck in. I knew it was absurd. Still, I went from that to realizing they must reproduce in the spleen due to the spleen having as a function like backup blood supply (it can contain up to 40% of your blood) which would be the best place for these spiders to breed. Outside of a few brief bouts of bad anxiety, I realized this disturbing thought was irrational and all in my head.

I came down fast at that point, guess that's when I had the seroquel and benzos.

The blood pressure rise was the main danger from this overdose. It does seem like doing excess amounts even if you don't stay awake a really long time could cause psychosis or maybe that type of thinking is part of the high when you do way too much and it goes away as it wears off. I was not having weird thoughts 6 or 7 hours after I woke up. I think the big psychological danger for me is depression when you use too much.

I was fine most of the following day but then got deeply depressed and I would have been suicidal if I did not know it was the after effects of the drug. The depression was very bad until maybe 5 days ago when it abruptly lifted away. But it was really bad for about 10-12 days.

I hope the lower dose of meth I used this time does not lead to much depression. That was a nasty, bad time.


Cliffy78 said:
I get my synth weed at the tobacco store near my house and all they got is that and the bath salts I think. I heard those are like coke but I never even tried coke so idk lol. Catch 22s are everywhere lol...
Click to expand...

If you want something like coke that is legal, I have read a little on 4-fluoro-cocaine and it seems from limited info it may be a lot more like coke. The freebase sounds really nice and is much more potent than what I think is the HCL salt. From what I remember, sounds like a good dose of the freebase may be 4-8mg and the salt 60-90mg. Never been very interested in coke, but I may try that one later. It is cheap as fuck but I don't know if the vendor I found is legit. There are other things I can get from one I have used before that I would rather buy than risk losing my dough with a scammer. It may also be worse for blood pressure than meth - it seems from reading that coke causes a lot more heart attacks and strokes. Meth only raises my BP to what I consider an unacceptable level (165-170/95-105 for more than 2 hours or 170-185/105-115 less than half an hour) if I take a high dose or overdose. Normally if nobody is using with me, I just snort a very small amount for energy and it has no clearly observable effect on BP.
 
I had a spliff about an hour ago. Feel pretty normal. I've cut out coffee in exchange for tea lately so no more super-buzzing.

Trying to cut down alcohol until Saturday too. Only had a couple yesterday.
 
Have you ever thought about not using psychedelics/uppers, @TryptamineDreamer?

I am chillin' drinking OJ waiting for the drug man.
 
Sploffee for breakfast and not much else. I need to eat better, been slippin up the past few days.
 
Oxy, feels good fellaZ. Am being a relatively good boy today. with around 380 mgs of oxycodone consumed since up at 9 am, nearly midnight now.

PTC, wtf kinda rehab lets you have a cell phone or however you're accessing the site ?
 
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