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How High Are You? V. Dude Where's My Bar?

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CoastTwoCoast said:
Oh, I missed this part! At least diazepam helped. Kratom doesn’t make me nauseous unless I take too much or sometimes a white strain can be too stimulating. You needed a red strain. That’s more relaxing.
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I believe I do have a red strain, "Borneo Red Vein", I usually do prefer red a lot. I haven't used kratom in a while though and I think I overshot the dose after overshooting the amphetamine, and then when it wore off I was hit with the nausea... could also be slight hunger pangs from too much appetite suppression today...

Not gonna dose any more amphet today because I'm trying to be strict and stick under the 60mg / day max guidelines. I think less is probably optimal for me, maybe been a bit naughty today with my dosing. Pretty much resigned to having to work out my own self-medication for my (probably, not definitely, but, probably) adult-onset ADHD I seem to have developed, or maybe always had in some capacity... in my country I have no chance of getting prescribed it, I don't think, unless I go private, but that is expensive, and I also don't feel like just paying someone over the odds just to write me a prescription which seems like would be the situation... "not sick enough" as ever... but amphetamine is a recent upgrade from years of quite frequent armodafinil usage, which helped for a while but helps a lot less of recent... this is surely the end of the road as far as sustainable therapeutic chemical interventions, can't realistically go any "harder" without entering uncharted territory which no medical professional would endorse, and risking serious negatives and long term side effects...

Ritalin is another option of course but it's a lot more expensive than racemic amphetamine so not ideal. I don't really want this to be a long term thing anyway, just long enough to get my life to a place where I'm not stressed about work and being productive all the time...

Have some 4F-MPH I'll give a go soon but from what I surmise that's unlikely to be therapeutic long term due to rapid tolerance build up, also obviously far more risky given the nonexistent studies on humans for ADHD type symptoms, so that'll probably be a brief recreational curiosity.
 
I loathe amphetamines, but I have Concerta (24 hour Ritalin).
I have prescription insurance help so my Concerta is only $3.60

Borneo Red Vein kratom is excellent for comedown! I have some of that and it works wonders. You should get a scale to measure your kratom dose so you don’t overdo it. 5-6 grams is good.
 
Went thru my week supply in 5 days so I’m going to have to ask my husband to help me out , he gonna shame me and say “you went thru all them already , we need to conserve blah blah blah .. “ I’ll have to kiss his ass eventually he will give me something but it’s always a big deal . He the one who introduced me to this bs .
 
Larimar said:
Went thru my week supply in 5 days so I’m going to have to ask my husband to help me out , he gonna shame me and say “you went thru all them already , we need to conserve blah blah blah .. “ I’ll have to kiss his ass eventually he will give me something but it’s always a big deal . He the one who introduced me to this bs .
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Wait. What are you out of?
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
I loathe amphetamines, but I have Concerta (24 hour Ritalin).

Borneo Red Vein kratom is excellent for comedown! I have some of that and it works wonders. You should get a scale to measure your kratom dose so you don’t overdo it. 5-6 grams is good.
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Hmm, I'll see if I can source some Concerta perhaps, for some reason, I'm not sure why but pharma stimulants like Adderall, probably Concerta, Vyvanse and all that are priced sky high compared to basically any other pharm I can think of - at least in the places I've looked - I know price discussion is not allowed obv but hopefully this is vague enough to be OK, if not, as a moderator I should know better and I'll express my sincere contrition preliminary to whatever esteemed colleague would like to correct me!

That being the case maybe it would even be worth getting some kind of consultation at least, I always advocate for people to seek help as soon as they are thinking about it when it comes to their mental health but in this aspect it seems to be advice I have trouble following myself.

What are you prescribed Concerta for if I may ask? Presumably some kind of ADHD type diagnosis also?

Yeah, I've taken 10g kratom today, not all at once but probably too much.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Wait. What are you out of?
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Oxy . Pills..I need at least 20 mg a day not to get restless/ chills . Some days I take more for fun or if I have a lot of housework or overtime, so I always run out and have ask him for extra . He gets from his friend and splits them with me, but his half always seems a little more 😒
 
Vastness said:
Hmm, I'll see if I can source some Concerta perhaps, for some reason, I'm not sure why but pharma stimulants like Adderall, probably Concerta, Vyvanse and all that are priced sky high compared to basically any other pharm I can think of - at least in the places I've looked - I know price discussion is not allowed obv but hopefully this is vague enough to be OK, if not, as a moderator I should know better and I'll express my sincere contrition preliminary to whatever esteemed colleague would like to correct me!

That being the case maybe it would even be worth getting some kind of consultation at least, I always advocate for people to seek help as soon as they are thinking about it when it comes to their mental health but in this aspect it seems to be advice I have trouble following myself.

What are you prescribed Concerta for if I may ask? Presumably some kind of ADHD type diagnosis also?

Yeah, I've taken 10g kratom today, not all at once but probably too much.
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Concerta is prescribed for my ADHD. Adderall used to be prescribed for that too, but amphetamines made me chase euphoria too much and backfired on me in a bad way so I quit years ago.

Yes, you should seek help and get a consultation if you’re also suffering with ADHD and other things.

What country are you in?

In the states, you can get extra help with prescriptions so they don’t cost a ton of money. You have to go out of your way to ask for help though and do some paperwork or a quick phone interview. My prescription insurance plan on its own still made my medicine expensive, but when I signed up for “extra help”, it’s cheap now. Some medicine is only $1 and change. The highest I ever have to pay now is $3.60 for a prescription.

So yeah, get a consultation and get a prescription insurance plan for your medicine. Find one that doesn’t overcharge.
 
Larimar said:
Oxy . Pills..I need at least 20 mg a day not to get restless/ chills . Some days I take more for fun or if I have a lot of housework or overtime, so I always run out and have ask him for extra . He gets from his friend and splits them with me, but his half always seems a little more 😒
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You should always have kratom as a backup for whenever you run out. At least you won’t suffer withdrawals.

Find a reputable source online and order some kratom. Keep it stashed away for emergency only.
 
600mg gabapentin
~10g kratom today so far (only felt the last dose :rolleyes: )
freakin w********* push notifications on pregab lettin me know its time to pick em up... yeah I know just takin a break, thanks mr pusher man. freakin tons of gabap and now pregab as I just gotta paper script (yep scheduled) for 5 refills.
coffee
cigs

gonna chase that last hit of kratom with a couple more Gs.

oh yeah: and weeeeeed
haha
 
Do y’all have cheaper generics in the UK @Vastness ? I get generic for my alpraz and I only pay a dollar eighty after insurance. Almost makes me happy to pay out the wazoo for insurance lol, at least my alpraz is essentially free.
 
I took 25mg of MXPr earlier, and took a nice walk with my girlfriend, now we just finished dinner and are going to try to find a movie to watch. Feeling pretty decent. Can't believe how much I'm craving *something* though. Ugh.
 
Sitting across from a treasure trove of opioids is difficult, but I just need to hold out a few more days. Took a few Gs of kratom and just made myself a drink (bourbon of course). Might go smoke a cig.

I'm kinda anxious guys. I don't want to move again. I wanna do drugs and not move.
 
madness00 said:
Are you literally moving locations?

Either way, hopefully the kratom and drink can take the edge off. Enjoy the stash and keep it healthy. Your self as well.
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Yeah Nashville > Chicago

It's helping out. Something about moving a lot really makes you kinda numb to people. Time and time again I get close to people and make friends then leave.

My PO is really starting to make me nervous too, I'm supposed to check in before I leave to make sure it's okay and I can't reach her.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Do y’all have cheaper generics in the UK @Vastness ? I get generic for my alpraz and I only pay a dollar eighty after insurance. Almost makes me happy to pay out the wazoo for insurance lol, at least my alpraz is essentially free.
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Honestly I've never got anything fun with a legitimate prescription, although I've never really tried, as I mentioned the prescribing culture here is extremely conservative compared to the US, especially when it comes to mental health. I think if I did, it would be very cheap, because of the NHS prescriptions are basically a flat rate per pickup of £9, I believe around $11, so depending on your prescription, some meds could be very cheap indeed, although I suspect with potentially abusable repeat prescriptions there will be a limit to how much they'd prescribe at any one time.

So all my non prescribed pharms are from other sources, benzos and whatnot are very cheap IME, just pharma stims that are mindbogglingly high. Maybe something to do with the relative rarity of such prescriptions in the UK. Many people shit on the US medical system about being too prescription happy, and for sure there are problems with big pharma and capitalism coming before the greater good, but I think Europe and probably elsewhere too is way too draconian in some ways, like some things that are not even remotely abusable are prescription only when there's just no justification for it, like asthma inhalers (and not like old benzedrex ones, these ones are absolutely in no way abusable - not that I've tried).

We do have private healthcare options here but, again, it's expensive, and meds will be more expensive too. I need to look into it a bit more, just gotta decide if I want to gamble like $500 or something on the off-chance of getting a private doctor who is a bit more sympathetic to the usefulness of certain medicines, when it might still end up being a waste of time. I'm not suicidal, I have a job, I seem to be coping so, "suck it up and let me refer you for talk therapy." Not that talk therapy is not an important thing and I am a proponent of it but I feel like I've talked about everything already now and am just retracing the same old ground and cyclic ups and downs.

Forgive that spiel, I know this isn't the mental health forum, just a bit frustrated right now.

Few hours ago before going to bed and failing to sleep.
+30mg amphetamine because I'm a degenerate.
+4g kratom
+10mg diazepam

Few beers, man that was too much speed today, really crashed towards the end.

Time to try again to sleep. All the best y'all, may your lives be filled with happiness and free from suffering.
 
Vastness said:
Honestly I've never got anything fun with a legitimate prescription, although I've never really tried, as I mentioned the prescribing culture here is extremely conservative compared to the US, especially when it comes to mental health. I think if I did, it would be very cheap, because of the NHS prescriptions are basically a flat rate per pickup of £9, I believe around $11, so depending on your prescription, some meds could be very cheap indeed, although I suspect with potentially abusable repeat prescriptions there will be a limit to how much they'd prescribe at any one time.

So all my non prescribed pharms are from other sources, benzos and whatnot are very cheap IME, just pharma stims that are mindbogglingly high. Maybe something to do with the relative rarity of such prescriptions in the UK. Many people shit on the US medical system about being too prescription happy, and for sure there are problems with big pharma and capitalism coming before the greater good, but I think Europe and probably elsewhere too is way too draconian in some ways, like some things that are not even remotely abusable are prescription only when there's just no justification for it, like asthma inhalers (and not like old benzedrex ones, these ones are absolutely in no way abusable - not that I've tried).

We do have private healthcare options here but, again, it's expensive, and meds will be more expensive too. I need to look into it a bit more, just gotta decide if I want to gamble like $500 or something on the off-chance of getting a private doctor who is a bit more sympathetic to the usefulness of certain medicines, when it might still end up being a waste of time. I'm not suicidal, I have a job, I seem to be coping so, "suck it up and let me refer you for talk therapy." Not that talk therapy is not an important thing and I am a proponent of it but I feel like I've talked about everything already now and am just retracing the same old ground and cyclic ups and downs.

Forgive that spiel, I know this isn't the mental health forum, just a bit frustrated right now.

Few hours ago before going to bed and failing to sleep.
+30mg amphetamine because I'm a degenerate.
+4g kratom
+10mg diazepam

Few beers, man that was too much speed today, really crashed towards the end.

Time to try again to sleep. All the best y'all, may your lives be filled with happiness and free from suffering.
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I really think the “fast and loose” view Euro peeps have of our prescribing is a decade out of touch. Ten years ago you could get anything easy. Now even low dose cpam and alpraz or even dexamps are hard to get prescribed. I went to five doctors complaining of pain levels that made me suicidal and finally one gave me alpraz and now I don’t have to jump off a bridge. My gut hurts so much without it. People who get long term bzds for anxiety irk me because they make it harder for people like me who need them for chronic GI pain.

Like no joke I wanted to die. I’m so, so grateful I found a compassionate doctor willing to help me avoid suicide.

Feeling super tired. 8+10mg O-DT today and 5mg etiz spread over the day. So tired of packing boxes.
 
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