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Heroin How hard is to shoot yourself up the first time?

How is it that you have so many "friends" who use drugs, sell drugs and/or can get them for you (especially heroin) - and you are so naive about drug usage? I don't know what it is.....but you seem to have knowledge in some areas and are completely naive in so many others.

I don't know....I guess that's off topic or whatever...but for some reason things aren't making sense. Is this "friend" still injecting you? Are you getting dope from him and using it on your own, or did you smoke it with him? Oh wait, he doesn't use, right? So you smoked it on your own.....somehow....somewhere... And then you have a couple of other "friends" who can get tar locally or powder from another source?

And your concern is how hard it is to shoot it yourself. Please be careful, I get the feeling you are getting in, or are already in, a place that might be too deep for you. Be safe and be careful. And protect yourself if you continue to have sex with your "friend". You don't need Hep-C and a baby to go with an IV habit.
 
How is the pill market where you're at? If you can find some hydromorphone / oxymorphone, you should be able to snort those after you get rid of the ER coating (if any) and crush. Personally, I wouldn't suggest either of those from a HR standpoint. hydromorphone and oxymorphone are more potent than heroin. Not necessarily bad, but the way I see it is that if you miscalculate the "conversion rate" from heroin to hydrocodone and take an extra 2 mg, you probably won't die. With buprenorphine though, a 2mg margin of error could damn well kill you (never used it, don't know very much about it, so I don't know for sure. Wiki says its prescribed in less than 2 mg to treat opiate addiction, so id think a 2 mg margin of error would be huge).

Oxycodone and hydrocodone don't really compare to Iv heroin. I think you should try them anyway because iv heroin, BTH in particular, is a very risky, destructive chemical. Its alright if you use infrequently, but it sounds like you have no interest in stopping before you're addicted.
The best option for you though, would probably be to go for morphine. Heroin is practically just morphine when you swallow it. (There's some 6-MAM mixed in when it gets to your brain if I remember right) Snorting and smoking should be mostly morphine by the time the drug gets to your brain, but those ROA are a little bit faster, so I would expect that a little diacetylmorphine is getting to your brain.

And the other option I would suggest (probably been suggesting already) is plugging. A little undignified, yes, but it won't damage your veins as much as IV will, it can be easier for a new user.


Buprenorphine is actually rather safe on its own. It has a ceiling effect where respiratory depression does not increase with dose, so there aren't really any fatal overdoses where buprenorphine is the only drug in the system. You can get sick from taking too high of a dose, and vomit and be dizzy etc, but death isn't common with bupe by any means, unless of course it is combined with benzos, alcohol, or other CNS depressants. It's a very potent drug though, so it's relatively easy to get sick off of if you don't have a decent tolerance.

I mostly sniff my heroin, and I can't really tell the difference between heroin, hydrocodone, oxycodone, and maybe one more opiate. Oxycodone is a bit more stimulating, but in a bind study I don't know if I could say for sure which is which. What I'm getting at is that I agree that the OP might want to look into those options if they are really content on sticking with opiates, and hydrocodone and oxycodone are very good when taken orally, so that takes a lot of the trouble out of the equation. Opana is reformulated now, plus it's probably too potent for her. Hydromorphone might not be too common in that area, but that's another option.
 
Whoever else said it is right on the $ this person def has an alterior motive. Either wants someone along for the miserable ride or wants to get you hooked and buying off them OR wants to cuff you. This is basically where you will exchange sex/prostitution for drugs which is basically what it sounds like is happening, or will be happening soon. Its happened to women from every walk of life, watch out...

Either way sounds like youre in for a rough time good luck. Sadly I cant help you very much as i've never IV'd myself but alls I CAN tell you is that if my addiction got as bad as it did without the needle you are really in for a hell of a time...

It shouldn't be hard to believe that this person you care about would do these things. When someone is in active addiction they will do ANYTHING to get their next fix. If you haven't experienced this yet yourself you soon will and then you'll understand WHY he did the things he did to you, but it wont undo them. Get out now. if you admit naievety about all this then take the advice of those who are far from ignorant and run while you can.
 
How is it that you have so many "friends" who use drugs, sell drugs and/or can get them for you (especially heroin) - and you are so naive about drug usage? I don't know what it is.....but you seem to have knowledge in some areas and are completely naive in so many others.

I don't know....I guess that's off topic or whatever...but for some reason things aren't making sense. Is this "friend" still injecting you? Are you getting dope from him and using it on your own, or did you smoke it with him? Oh wait, he doesn't use, right? So you smoked it on your own.....somehow....somewhere... And then you have a couple of other "friends" who can get tar locally or powder from another source?

And your concern is how hard it is to shoot it yourself. Please be careful, I get the feeling you are getting in, or are already in, a place that might be too deep for you. Be safe and be careful. And protect yourself if you continue to have sex with your "friend". You don't need Hep-C and a baby to go with an IV habit.

I'm sorry that my story doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make alot of sense to me either. There are only two people whom I have gotten drugs from. The first guy who I get most of the drugs from and a girl I got to know; she buys from him sometimes. She's the one who I smoked it with and she's the one who told me about where I might get some powder.

The only knowledge I have is what I've picked up along the way (not much) and what I've been able to learn on this forum.
 
I really don't get why everyone thinks this is a case of trolling.

Yes it is quite of a leap to go from smoking weed to IVing heroin. But it is not unheard of. People make bad choices all the time. There is absolutely no need for all this bullshit attacking of the OP.

She came here for help on a site that prides itself for being about harm reduction. Is this how we go about it?
 
I have a major problem with this "friend" who is maintaining sexual relations with the OP, that is NOT what a friend would do. A friend helps you find a solution to your problem, a dealer takes your money and numbs your pain temporarily and knows damn well that you're going to come back no matter what. His behavior is either idiotic or sociopathic, either way this person needs to be out of your life Emily.

Sounds to me like this "friend" could care less about the actual problems, if he injected heroin as a solution. This reminds me of abuse I endured in psych wards, where when you have a problem, they just hit you with Thorazine, to shut you up. I cannot begin to tell you how wrong and abusive this is, I swell with rage just thinking about it.

This person in no way deserves to be around you Emily, let alone to share sexual intercourse. You're rewarding him for taking advantage of you, it solidifies in his mind and in yours that this is okay, that this is normal, and this vicious cycle never ends. The next time you have sex with him, think about this please. You are a human being with rights, and deserve to be treated like the beautiful person you are on the inside.

And to the poster who suggested Emily is trolling, it may be hard to believe, but you have to assume she is telling the truth. It's not THAT hard to believe, I've witnessed similar things in real life, and read about it online too. When I first read this post, I got violently nauseous like I was going to throw up, but the nausea very quickly turned to pure rage and frustration. It is absolutely sickening and unforgivable what happened, but to dismiss it as trolling, is just as sick in my opinion. This guy is just very lucky I don't know who he is.

I really wish you would completely cut this guy out of your life, he's straight up taking advantage of you.

Please OP take this advice to heart. Drug dealers (especially heroin dealers) do not just give out free shots of heroin without expecting something in return.

If I ever found out a guy was doing this to one of my friends. I would call up a bunch of my buddies and head to his place with a couple wrenches and baseball bats. Because what this guy is doing is fucked up beyond measure.
 
I'm sorry. I didn't realize that there was a an order I had to follow before I was allowed to try heroin. As for binging, I don't think using it once a day qualifies as binging.

I do intend to slow down. I just need to get through a rough time in my life and this is helping. But the guy who is giving me the stuff won't show me how to do it and if he's not around one time when I want to do it I'll need to know how.

I've only read the first page, so I do apologize if in the following pages you've seen the light, but here goes:

You do NOT have any idea what you're getting yourself into and that little bit of arrogance you've displayed will only serve to make me say, "I told you so," when you're writhing in hell down here with the rest of us. Opiates are the Satan spawn of drugs and you're setting yourself up for a miserable, miserable life if you continue to exhibit this behavior, both in terms of using and you acting like it's no big deal. It most certainly IS a big deal. You think you got problems now? Fuck, just wait a few months until you realize you're in over your head, then want to actually commit suicide because it hurts so bad, you're shit broke, and you're losing your mind. I know, I know, you think what you're doing isn't going to lead down that path, you have it under control, etc. Hahaha, I don't mean to laugh but that's completely the same nonsense ALL OF US said when we first got into a habit. It creeps and creeps and creeps and before you know it, you're fucked. Completely, honestly, totally fucked. Stop now or face the living hell all of us on this site live in every day or, quite honestly, before it kills you.

I apologize for the harsh tone, but you come across as someone in desperate need of a reality check. Opiate addiction isn't fun, isn't therapeutic, isn't sexy, isn't sustainable, and quite frankly, isn't worth it. ESPECIALLY banging dope. Yes, that means using EVEN ONCE isn't worth. GTFO now or I'll start planning your "welcome to hell" party.
 
I really don't get why everyone thinks this is a case of trolling.

Yes it is quite of a leap to go from smoking weed to IVing heroin. But it is not unheard of. People make bad choices all the time. There is absolutely no need for all this bullshit attacking of the OP.

She came here for help on a site that prides itself for being about harm reduction. Is this how we go about it?

I hope this isn't directed at me. I know she isn't trolling. I know she's for real. It's just that her story seems inconsistent. And incomplete. So to give her the advice she is asking for, I think she should put it all out on the table.

I also don't see bullshit attacking. I see people with more experience than the OP who obviously care about her (look at the response she is getting in this thread - people really feel for this girl) trying to tell her what might be ahead of her. And what she might want to be aware of that is going on right now around her.

IV drug use is a negative thing, and is being treated that way, and with passion. I hope she can read this and learn a few things, and if something seems offensive, she can pass over it. I care about her, and some posts might seem aggressive or whatever, but they aren't meant that way.

So to answer your question about harm reduction.....yes, this is how we go about it, imo, of course.
 
I really hope the OP doesn't get scared away from posting on Bluelight because of some of the judgmental tones displayed by some of the posters. I agree that she is not in a good situation and this guy shooting her up is not a friend, but berating her and calling/treating her like an idiot is not going to help IMO. There are ways to express concern without alienating her.

OP, people are right that you need to get out while you still can. Sometimes we forget that when we first started using heroin or when we were being taken advantage of by someone and didn't see it that no one's "tough love" style advice made us change our minds and it just made us not want to listen to them. Please excuse us if some of us seem like we are being mean, it's really just because we wish we could help you avoid making some huge mistakes.

Think about your original question that prompted you to start this thread: you want to know how to inject yourself. Why hasn't this dealer guy taught you? Because he wants to have control over you. He wants you to have to get your drugs from him and to have to get him to inject them for you. In addition, why would he give you heroin and inject it into your arm in the first place? What kind of friend would ever do that? When I first started using, all my friends tried to talk me out of it, especially those who were heroin addicts themselves and knew what it was like. Even my dealer was very reluctant to sell it to me and would only sell to people who were already physically dependent. The only people who helped me get heroin were people who wanted something, like desperate addicts who wanted me to share it with them.

People are concerned because you are going to get addicted and physically dependent very fast and because you are getting into a position with this dealer guy where you will "owe" him and have to do whatever it takes to get him to continue supplying you once you are addicted, whether that means money, sex, or sex with other people. If you absolutely insist on continuing to use heroin, despite knowing the risks, get away from this guy fast, find your own reliable supply and try starting out with non-IV methods of use. If you insist on continuing to IV then learn everything you can about how to do it in the safest way. And be super careful about how much you take, you can always take more if it's not enough but you can easily die if you take too much.

No one should be injecting if they can't do it themselves and are worried about seeing their own blood.
 
"This person" is not taking advantage of me. He doesn't force me to take the drugs. Other than the first time he never even offers them to me. I ask him for them. The first couple of times he told me that I might want to stop taking it but I decided I wanted to keep doing it. He's done nothing wrong. I wish people would stop bad mouthing him since they don't know what they're talking about.

The quote below answers this very well. He likely told you that you might want to stop so that he didn't make what he was doing too obvious. He knew what your answer was going to be before he even asked it, and only did it as part of his plan to manipulate you.

Think about your original question that prompted you to start this thread: you want to know how to inject yourself. Why hasn't this dealer guy taught you? Because he wants to have control over you. He wants you to have to get your drugs from him and to have to get him to inject them for you. In addition, why would he give you heroin and inject it into your arm in the first place? What kind of friend would ever do that? When I first started using, all my friends tried to talk me out of it, especially those who were heroin addicts themselves and knew what it was like. Even my dealer was very reluctant to sell it to me and would only sell to people who were already physically dependent. The only people who helped me get heroin were people who wanted something, like desperate addicts who wanted me to share it with them.
 
I agree with Tommyboy. Just because he isn't forcing you to use heroin does not mean he is not taking advantage of you. He doesn't have to force you to take it, all he needed to do was offer it to you and you keep coming back for more. That's how manipulation works, not by tying someone down and forcing them to use heroin. It's very subtle and the victim often doesn't realize until it's too late.

You keep saying you are responsible for what you choose to do, well that it right, it doesn't mean that other people don't influence us or encourage us to make bad decisions, or make something available to us that wouldn't have been otherwise. You are also responsible if you don't choose to walk away. That doesn't mean you have all the blame, most people who use opioids are self-medicating for issues like depression. But you may have found better ways to cope with problems in life if this non-friend didn't introduce you to hard drugs. If you keep using heroin you will soon have no self control and it will become the most important thing to you. I don't mean to be harsh and I do understand what you are going through. Just try to think about this situation and how it would look objectively (to anyone who isn't you). What if it was your best friend in this situation? If this guy cared about you he would not be giving you IV heroin, especially when you had never tried it before. It destroys lives and it kills. If you are going to keep using heroin at least please try to reduce the harm it will cause on your life. Good luck :-)
 
I hope this isn't directed at me. I know she isn't trolling. I know she's for real. It's just that her story seems inconsistent. And incomplete. So to give her the advice she is asking for, I think she should put it all out on the table.

I also don't see bullshit attacking. I see people with more experience than the OP who obviously care about her (look at the response she is getting in this thread - people really feel for this girl) trying to tell her what might be ahead of her. And what she might want to be aware of that is going on right now around her.

IV drug use is a negative thing, and is being treated that way, and with passion. I hope she can read this and learn a few things, and if something seems offensive, she can pass over it. I care about her, and some posts might seem aggressive or whatever, but they aren't meant that way.

So to answer your question about harm reduction.....yes, this is how we go about it, imo, of course.

My post wasn't directed at you at all J.D.

It was directed at all the guys who keep calling the OP a troll and dense and what not.

IMO I don't think that is how HR advice should be delivered. IMO I think there should be a level of sympathy. But that's just me.

I've been down the IV path as well. I know how shitty it is. But I'm not gonna shit all over the OP's choices because I've made bad choices myself.

And to whoever said is this how we HR? Yes, it is. I don't see what is so anti-HR about warning the OP about what lies ahead.

Again not what I meant sorry I didn't make myself clear. What I meant was similar to your own post about dismissing an OP as a troll and ignoring her plea for help.

From your post

And to the poster who suggested Emily is trolling, it may be hard to believe, but you have to assume she is telling the truth. It's not THAT hard to believe, I've witnessed similar things in real life, and read about it online too. When I first read this post, I got violently nauseous like I was going to throw up, but the nausea very quickly turned to pure rage and frustration. It is absolutely sickening and unforgivable what happened, but to dismiss it as trolling, is just as sick in my opinion. This guy is just very lucky I don't know who he is.

That is what I meant you said it better.
 
How hard is it? It's easy. It's not fucking rocket science.

Watch what the person hitting you is doing, and then do that.

You can't even figure it out after watching instructional videos? Rofflecopter.

Oh, you think this is "mean?" You don't know what mean is--wait until you're a little further down the drug highway leading to hell you're currently on.

The criticism you're getting in this tread is as good as addiction gets--and it won't ever get this good again.
 
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On usage patterns: I once had a girlfriend who, long before I met her, shot heroin before she'd ever smoked weed, taken a pill, or even smoked a cigarette. Her prior drug history was a beer or two. So yes, anything's possible.

She was 16 and guess what? Her 20-yr-old boyfriend shot her up. Then he and his friends proceeded to gang rape her while she was incapacitated. After that, she spent a month in the hospital because they also gave her the gift of hepatitis. Swell guy. Oh, and he got away with it because she "still loved him" and wouldn't testify. Sorry for the tangent, but the story needed to be told.

So Emily, I'm not going to preach at you. You know you're going down a very risky path, just like I did. Nobody could tell me anything, and me and many people I loved suffered a lot over the years because of it. But what the Hell; it's a free country.

If you are dead set on doing this, do it right. Watch others carefully when they shoot. Be patient. Try taking it in steps: once someone puts the needle in, have them hold it while you inject. If an injection starts going wrong, don't force it. Save your veins. You can always eat, snort, or plug the stuff. Most importantly, follow the advice given in this thread-- especially about making sure everything-- your needle, your hands & arms, your spoon, your drugs, everything is very very clean and sterile. Hope you have fun and survive it all. I wish you the best.


Oh, and one more thing-- please dump that sleazy predatory lowlife. I suspect he is more dangerous for you than the heroin.


Peace&Love,
jasper
 
I did not mean to come across as condescending or "speaking down to" but it is my experience that people often have no idea what they're getting themselves into. It happened to me, it happened to friends (one now dead, from heroin), it happened to people on this site. Opiates are an insidious parasite that slowly erode your self control until there is no semblance of good decision making remaining in your brain chemistry. The only chance for someone at this stage to avoid going through the motions of addiction is to quit while they're ahead. I understand that "telling them how it is" will not likely deter ANYONE, it sure as fuck didn't for me, but I can't in good conscience "help her" get going on the downward slope of addiction. Maybe it's just my heightened sense of responsibility after opiates nearly ruined my life, but it's no longer a topic I take lightly or look at with a "fuck it" attitude. I'm five days clean right now and the only way that will ever continue is if I perpetuate the reality of opiates as the devil incarnate. Otherwise it's right back down the road to perdition.

So OP, I wish you well, but just head my warning and ponder the fact that most people who try heroin become hopelessly addicted to it. It isn't like smoking pot once and a while, it's a different animal entirely. But you're likely going to continue anyway, so please stay safe, be careful, and realize that your life is the most precious gift you will ever receive. Before shooting each and every bag, test a small amount to determine potency. It can vary wildly EVEN bag to bag, not just bundle to bundle. I've seen people OD from a different bag being an entirely different potency, when it was supposedly the same shit. That's the second best bit of harm reduction I can give you, never inject without knowing exactly how much you're injecting by properly testing your bag. I again apologize if I came across too harsh, my honest intention was to give you a bit of "tough love," but that's what's in my heart right now, I wish you love. Because love, love for yourself will be the only solitary notion powerful enough to break the cycle of addiction and stay away.

I don't mean to sound heavy, and perhaps I'm projecting quite a bit, but I've been through the seventh circle of hell the last month, bottomed the drain, and have been slowly clawing my way through a dense fog of shit. If I can spare just one person from going through this, perhaps my struggle was worth something.
 
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Before you do any more drugs, try psilocybin mushrooms. They tend to bring out strength in you and help overcome diversity in a safe, non addictive way. Also, they may make you realize what you are doing is harmful. Ayahuasca also works well. Then, to further clean, I suggest you try ibogaine. It will lessen a very unpleasant withdrawal experience
 
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