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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

How big is your penis? (Also, if you're a female how deep is your vag?)

I never measured mine but remember my mate once did with a piece of string and a ruler. She'd done it because 'you two are off having sex and I can't even masturbate here'.

Honestly, masturbation whilst staying in someone's house is far less weird than finding a ruler and a piece of string and shoving it up your hoo-haa but maybe that's just me.
 
..what was the string for, measuring circumference? I hope it wasn't to stop the ruler getting lost.

And another vote for mooncups here. Brilliant things.
 
I always assumed it was just to mention the length of her vagina, I had not considered the other two options...

I think I was trying to sell someone on a mooncup the other night. Not even used one myself.
 
If/when I ever find myself another Mrs Shambles (Occasional or otherwise) I'm gonna have to enquire about mooncups. I imagine they're not to all tastes but am now damnably intrigued since Mz Marmz planted the seed... and it blossomed into pix (boy = can't get around the fact a picture paints a thousand words, knowing of such a wonder is one thing, observing practical application quite another (that makes the pic sound considerably pervier than it is for anybody who doesn't recall - wasn't owt iffy so much as... demonstrative)). I kinda suspect collection is not gonna be a patch on more direct collection (I sense clots - the one possible downside to my lil peccadillo) but am just gonna have to find out for myself sooner or later.

snolly said:
I always assumed it was just to mention the length of her vagina, I had not considered the other two options...
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Circumference seems unlikely cos it would presumably depend entirely on what - if anything - was in there at the time. Actual length also tricky for the same reason but feasible. String does sound like a tricksy beast to get right though. Summat a bit more rigid and fixed seems more apt. Two measurements I could consider appropriate - flaccid, and at stretch. Although latter does reach babysize as mentioned so perhaps somewhat arbitrary. As is the whole thing. But a peevish brekky has me in somewhat fixated mode. I'd probably best avoid this thread a bit today. Or perhaps not. Just remember to stop typing - or avoid typing - well-before the moment I actually think I should.

snolly said:
I never measured mine but remember my mate once did with a piece of string and a ruler. She'd done it because 'you two are off having sex and I can't even masturbate here'.
Click to expand...

My entire concept of lesbianism destroyed in just over a sentence :(
 
Hahaha, from what I can remember, she attached the string to the top of the ruler and then checked where the string was when the ruler came out. I'm now not entirely convinced she couldn't have just used the ruler but I guess it makes it somewhat more accurate.

RE: Fisting, it's possible with the right hand configuration as mentioned above and is particularly effective if you have small hands and wrists =D I've never been with a 'loose' girl either; one had had two kids and it was still as I remember it when we were sixteen. Ah, memories...
 
According to any lass I am seeing at the time I have a massive winkle but as soon as it gets bitter and the relationship ends they say I have a small one. Winkle pickers -the height of fashion.
 
Wtf is a mooncup? Can't see many people telling the truth in this thread no one would believe you if you said it was anything over 7.5 inches.

and to the guy who doesn't like going down on girls your defo missing out pal I fookin love it! Not something for drunken one night stands tho as I unfortunately found out once.

could not get that copper/metal taste out my mouth for ages. Nasty
 
Sweaty change jar, lovely. I was once asked if I was prepared to send my toe down the bloody tunnel as I refused to turn my jam tash into a jam beard, what sort of sick person grows a bloody mary beard to order anyway? I got 16bit on her Toe Jam and Hurl, terrible game.
 
lmfao especially that last bit.

Also just to ick out deano, moon cups are lil rubber cups shaped a bit like wine glasses that you shove up your fanny and then remove when needs be. I'd tip the whole thing over myself tryng to get it out but apparently they're quite popular and I assume called moon cups cos of some association with the moon on a woman's cycle or just some weird feminist/lycanthrope association I am currently unaware of.

Debated buying one.
 
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parttime crackhead said:
Fuck sake. It's been almost two weeks since I last ripped the end off it and it's driving me mad. Fucking choking for a wank haha.
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Are you on opis ? IKWYM Kronos, that was one of the worst things about opis for me, it didnt reduce my sex drive, i was just unable to get any relief. I sometimes resorted to stims as it made it easier to get there, and then once you stop and they are out of your system, you can get the deed done quicker than you can say 'where's the Kleenex'. :\:o:sus:

Whilst we're on the subject, I'd love to take some more of that meph right now. Wanking gets pretty boring by the time you reach 43, i dunno how or why but meph makes it a lot more exciting. Im sorely tempted to take more today, but i know it's a bad idea. Sposed to be meeting my mate tomorrow for a few games of pool, and one line of meph leads to another and another and another. So I'll have to resist or Im gonna be a mess tomorrow. Will numb myslef with red vein bornoe kratom instead i think.
 
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parttime crackhead said:
Got my foreskin whipped off like a mad jew.

The first nurse that got me sorted in the morning was smoking. Fortunately I didn't have to show my sorry wee pecker to her. Just had to show it to an old Indian guy lol.
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You mentioned this in the Porn Thread and I took it for granted you were trolling around.

You saying you really did get the op done? and why??
 
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