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How are you in word? V. Darksiders feelings

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Yea i hope all goes well, I've been through this once before with my doctor. She will be disappointed for sure with me :\. It's just so damn embarrassing b/c it's a regular doctors office. So it seems like people know what I'm in the office for piss tests, high co-pay. But I'm very lucky that my doctor has a license to prescribe the sub or I would be SOL looking for a different doctor.
 
Tired I got a load of jobs around the house doing today, although when Mrs A said 'we need new garden furniture' and I said it's fine it just needs cleaning up and re-staining / varnishing I might have had a better thinkj about thew work involved :D....alll looks better than new now though.
 
Motivated! I am keen on reaching my goal before the end of the month
 
neversickanymore said:
Lazy.. I cant get myself going today.
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Your the shit my friend thanks for the help the other day. I forced my fam down to the new park and tried to race some kids and got my ass beat. I had to let em ;) My ass is beat told them boys meet me back here in 60 days and i'll show you whats up.
 
Tranquil - all is well and all is at peace with the world (well almost - but one can dream, can't one hahaha).

Evey
 
Panicky... ever since I quit smoking weed 9 months ago I suffer from full blown panic disorder which hasn't improved at all. I have nothing much to be anxious about in life, a decade of weed abuse just finally did me in. I was naive to think that I could bong my way through pounds of the chronic and take heavy rips of hash oil all day without doing any harm to myself and taking a serious risk in regards to my mental health.

It still feels great no longer being a slave to something that always made me lazy, stupid, and anxious though... this obsession with weed never made any sense. I feel like my good old self, I just wish I could get over the panic attacks and agoraphobia. I have a feeling that I permanently fucked myself up.
 
^I still think that given more time the symptoms will be less. Don't think that you are fucked up, think of natural ways to help you with the anxiety: exercise, yoga, meditation I swear by these!!
 
Broken

I'm very confused, I'm struggling with substance abuse, I don't want to be anymore, I've started telling lies again to hide elements of my using, I don't know what I want out of the future, I don't know whether I'm in denial, I'm lacking structure, I'm lacking motivation, I know I'm doing loads of things wrong
 
^The lying is a big red flag for sure--I can hear in your writing that you already know this. It's hard when you feel unmotivated--is that from depression?
 
I don't know.

It's hard to tell what is depression what is PAWS really. Certainly for the moment I won't be considering depression to be a serious issue until I'm cleared of my substance abuse issues.

It's amazing just what getting up and out of the house did for me today though. Had to go and get some keys cut and I got caught in the rain so I stopped for food and I feel much happier now. Still recognising lots of the issues that are going on but not feeling so downhearted.
 
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