I understand that he is grieving too but fuck that was my mom. He only knew her and me for like 15 years (he's not my biological father, he's like an ex-step dad they were only together for a year and a half but he kinda stayed in my life) Which I mean I'm not trying to say he's wrong for grieving or anything or that I should be treated special because I knew her longer. But it's like dude I came out of her, she was seriously my best friend and all I ever really had my whole life. Even he was there for me sure, but he was only there when good stuff was going on. He always kinda disappeared when shit got tough. I have 2 brothers whom I don't talk with. And a sister I talk to her like maybe once a week at most more like once every 2 weeks. She resents me for a lot of things that were not my fault during our childhood and plus she's got 2 kids and a boyfriend and works, she's got a lot of shit going on.. I feel like my problems are the last thing she cares about. I have friends sure and I do trust a few to open up and be vulnerable in front of them but at the same time it's just none of them know where I'm coming from or what to say or how to act towards me and I always feel so awkward. Idk zomby shit is just really sucky right now. And regardless of how he's feeling I don't understand or see how he can be SO hurtful. I mean yeah there is pushing people away but then there is like doing what he is doing.. Poking at me every single day saying hurtful things but tonight was just too much he took that shit way too far.
Sorry. I'm not trying to just unload everything on you guys I'm just so hurt right now.
Okay back on topic for this thread.
devastated