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How Are You In One Word ver. Smile Because It Happened

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awake....
i've had too much coffee but mostly i'm uneasy and kinda scared,
tl;dr, no sleep, need change, have some maybe ideas but, honestly "duh, wtf am i gonna do?"


argh, all these night shift fucks with my sleep. i sleep 2 hrs then stay up for an hour all through the day, then i'm very awake about from around10pm until 5-6a.m. i going to work at night cuz the VIP bigwigs con artists aren't around at night. but what it all comes down to, i'm too fucking old to do this crazy shit anymore. however, on the flip, if i had to sit in an office all day dealing w/ multiple female/female drama episodes, i'd snatch myself bald in a few hours.
idk what i want to do. i like fast paced departments, trauma, icu, but there's always so much new to learn, new meds. devices, procedures, and i feel like i'm slipping behind.. i won't work at a nursing home. working for hospice shredded my heart after 8 months although i should have left before 6 months.., also no no burn unit, no psych, no home care.
BUT i may have an idea. maybe, just maybe i could go back to school 2 yrs if i work hard, get my nurse practitioner degree and maybe finally be able to build relationships with people/patients, maybe try to get an internship with the nurse midwives nearby. idk if i can do it, it's an intense program and i honestly don't know if i'm really up to it. i'm exhaustedand it seriously upsets me if i say i'm going to do something important and then blow it off. not ok, not the right way to be...
all apologies for the long and totally off topic babble,
izzy
 
rx_prn said:
Sad.
Click to expand...
u n me both rx,my mom,stp dad,sister and her bf are all fucking engoying themselves in hawii,while their troubled son is teetertotting laughing death in the fucking face.
yea im taking it hard..
im not sad, im kinda beyond that
 
{tired}

I should sleep but this coffee is so delicious. I have a bad habit of making coffee at midnight :\

I hope you're ok rx
 
D's- that's fucked up I'm so sorry to hear that. On the bright side, if you live with them you'll have peace an quiet and the house to yourself free to do whatever :)
 
Upset. It's gonna take a lot today to try to put on a happy face and make it to school.
 
You can have all of my happy spork :D I don't know where it came from and I have too much of it in my opinion. *hugs* <3
 
rx_prn said:
D's- that's fucked up I'm so sorry to hear that. On the bright side, if you live with them you'll have peace an quiet and the house to yourself free to do whatever :)
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i wish i hadnt fucked that up at such a young age... @ 18 they sent me to rehab in baton rouge,away from bama. that was their hint to tell me 'ur 18,on ur own now'.
if i hadn't got into drugs at a YOUNG age with my cousins, and sister then i'd be a decent gentlemen today.
it never worked like that,. after some disturbing shit happened in my life at 19 my family wasnt there for me. so did what i fucking know how to handle this, get high.
u think ur mom would be there for u, and maybe not give u cash. but atleast get grochies for her son,nope not one gallon of milk.
so there,i was already fallowing down the dark road not wanting to, but since my familys love toward me ended a year back i felt unloved by the family.

family is supposed to be there for you, regardless. they didn't tell me to go to rehab i went because i had a problem, and when they left that was it.no more mom.

fuck...:(

i'm about to lose it(mentally). i dont want to talk about it here,.i've thought about it.
MOM IF YOU WOULD HAVE ATLEAST SAID FUCKING HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY or say MERRY CHRISTMAS ATLEAST in a fucking email. i wouldn'tve even considering some thing.
 
MAD

My one day to sleep in and people with power tools start remodeling the apartment next door at 8:00. You have got to be kidding me.
 
Dave said:
Oh wow, Gorgoroth. Haven't seen you in literal years. Welcome back!

ATM: Demotivated. I have a huge list of things to do, and all I want to do is curl into a little ball and sleep the weekend away.
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Hey brother! long time no speak, hows life?
 
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