Ashamed.
A close friend of mine back home had a seizure on his motorcycle and died when he hit an oncoming car head on. I spent the weekend alone, at home, crying and trying to numb the pain. After drunkenly overreacting over something petty through text conversation, I realized I made a damn fool of myself to the new guy I've been seeing. I feel like an idiot. And to make matters worse, my ex of over two months ago decided last night would be the night to see me for the first time. He held me, and I cried. I don't know if it was for N's death, my sadness over the breakup with my ex, or my own shame for seemingly everything lately in my life. Thank god we didn't have sex... it would have only made matters worse. But he held me all night, and I can't deny that I missed that feeling terribly.