i feel fucking horrible.
i'm not sick or anything, or well maybe i am? not physically that i can think of.. more emotionally? the thought of suicide has crossed my mind these past few days. I don't see my life going anywhere, I work for fucking gas money it seems like because i live 30+mins from work and get paid minimum wage.
the girl that i've been living with has made things hard on me, wanting a relationship and i'm no where ready for one. hell i cant even help myself.
my depression has been kicking my ass, and i've been self medicating with weed and various pills. only seem to help for a littlewhile then it's back to reality.
did talk to my dad today, and he's wanting to plan a vacation in the smokey mountains, ive been there alot as a kid and fucking love it there. thats exactly what i need, is a vacation from this shit. maybe that will help me? who knows, hope i can last until then or something.