• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

How Are You in One Word v. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Status
Not open for further replies.
lonely

it's the second time i've od'ed on cocaine in 10 days. thankfully last night it wasn't too bad.
i dont know who, or what to turn to. so i've just been getting high all month. i hate this
 
^you can dew itt!

Sepher buddy, I'm going to share with you the words of a very wise fish.. "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim, swim, swim" ver batim, my man.

My word- low. Not like, morally low, but midwestern winter low, my energy is freaging zapped :/
 
^I know dat feel hun. I wish we were a *tad* bit closer so we could go frolic in the cold together. So close, yet so far. :(

I took the day off of work today to work on school crap, but what have I done? I have food in the crockpot, I cleaned out the fridge, changed the sheets, and did a couple loads of laundry, but nothing related to school. I really need to buckle down, but I've just completely checked-out of my school stuff mentally.
 
I got a Christmas card from an old dear friend who I have drifted apart from in recent years. Things haven't been the same between us for a while and it's been bothering me for quite some time. While procrastinating my studying, I decided to PM her on FB thanking her for the card and wishing her a happy holiday season and did express that even though we're not as close as we were I still wish her all the best and care about her quite a bit. She PMed me back right away wishing me well too and saying that she still thinks of me in the same way as she always has. I've been avoiding sending this message for quite a while because I was scared of what I'd get as a response or if I'd get no response at all. I'm so glad that I did though. Even if this doesn't bring us close again, I'm proud that I took the chance and told her how I was feeling. It just affirmed that even though I might think that people think the worst of me and come to horrible conclusions, it's not necessarily true.
 
^^ that's such a great feeling, you should be very proud!!

My word: exhausted
 
pastelcircus said:
Sepher buddy, I'm going to share with you the words of a very wise fish.. "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim, swim, swim" ver batim, my man.

My word- low. Not like, morally low, but midwestern winter low, my energy is freaging zapped :/
Click to expand...

Thanks Pastel. <3

I know, I know, what I've been trying to do and had to be more and more selective with my energies so I could keep up with the most important currents taking as much time out as I could to conserve them and restore them but just seem to have less and less energy to play with. Only have to slip far enough to finally threaten work and everything else goes out the window anyways, I'll lose my home, housing benefits won't cover the rent, unemployment benefits won't cover the bills. I'll get through it but feel so defeated right now. Anyways, wrong thread to really be doing this in, might start my own.

And ((( hugs ))) BTW. Funnily enough I know exactly where you're at! Pffft! ;)

<3 to everyone else struggling all of a sudden. Serotonin, yup, seems to be the week for it.
 
unmotivated

after quitting my job without having something else to do (stuipido!stuipido!stuipido)
its been very hard for me to start getting shit done again, that and smoking green doesnt help
 
Mysterie said:
unmotivated

after quitting my job without having something else to do (stuipido!stuipido!stuipido)
its been very hard for me to start getting shit done again, that and smoking green doesnt help
Click to expand...

Why did you quit your job? If you don't mind me asking.
 
idm

i worked as a kitchenhand at a busy commercial kitchen, so the work was very demanding already, which is okay because i dont mind working hard

but the head chef treated me like shit (worse than people working there 2 months) even though i had been working there for 2 years, and i always came to work on time/filled in other peoples shift with practically no notice

on top of that each week we had to call up on tuesday and find out when we were working that week, so it was like a new devastation each week and there was a point where if i got a call from the restaurant i felt like i was having a panic attack, because i need mental preparation for 7 hours of hell

all in all, quitting felt awesome but i wish i had lined up something else
 
Mysterie said:
idm

i worked as a kitchenhand at a busy commercial kitchen, so the work was very demanding already, which is okay because i dont mind working hard

but the head chef treated me like shit (worse than people working there 2 months) even though i had been working there for 2 years, and i always came to work on time/filled in other peoples shift with practically no notice

on top of that each week we had to call up on tuesday and find out when we were working that week, so it was like a new devastation each week and there was a point where if i got a call from the restaurant i felt like i was having a panic attack, because i need mental preparation for 7 hours of hell

all in all, quitting felt awesome but i wish i had lined up something else
Click to expand...

I can understand why you quit. I get to make my own schedule each week, so I get to know when I get to work; as well, there are always shifts open on a daily basis where you can just walk in and work when you want to.

Furthermore no one at my job makes me feel bad; everyone helps each other out and everyone is insanely nice and happy.

On top of all of that, we have two sets of bonuses that you can potentially earn for each paycheck, and we get to sit in super comfy black leather chairs and look out of a tall office building for the most amazing view of Los Angeles. %) :D
 
relieved
my next dr. appt has been moved up to 4 days from now. this is just the therapist i see but i assume she will determine whether or not i need the drugs i say i do. and i clearly do.
i just want this over with. and to have something to think about and talk about beyond the tedium of this shit
 
Very very overwhelmed. Way too many things to deal with atm :(
 
Hungry. I am really really hungry and I shouldn't have to wait another 12 hours to be able to buy food.

Pagey said:
Very very overwhelmed. Way too many things to deal with atm :(
Click to expand...

^ that is how I felt earlier today Pagey. <3
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Hungry. I am really really hungry and I shouldn't have to wait another 12 hours to be able to buy food.



^ that is how I felt earlier today Pagey. <3
Click to expand...

I think we all really need this Christmas break...I hope you feel better now? <3
 
Pagey said:
I think we all really need this Christmas break...I hope you feel better now? <3
Click to expand...

I'm still starving but I found two Cup Noodles and I'm going to eat at least one of them. It's sad that I don't have any other food.

I'm less stressed out about the half dozen things weighing on my shoulders at the moment though. :)

You can always PM me if you want to! :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top