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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

How Are You in One Word v. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

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Empty. Just completely running on empty, whatever's sustained me through the last few months trying to turn things around, it's all gone. Just completely fucking gone. Major crash. Feel myself sliding headlong into danger zone, dunno how to go forward with things I wanna do anymore, just not got the drive left needed to do it. . I am so fucking sick of this shit. If I could just catch some fucking sleep even. Meh, bedtime. See what it's like in the morning.

*cries*
 
^Definitely try to get some sleep. Sometimes my whole outlook on life can change with just a little bit of rest. I hope you're feeling better soon, Sepher. You've got a lot of people here that have your back and you can lean on if needed. <3 <3 <3

sconnie!!! It's good to see you back, hun. You and your kind words have been missed. :)

My word now is drowning in school work. I just have to tell myself that I'm almost done and keep on going...
 
Sepher <3

successful
What's that thing they say at the end of the NA meeting- "Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs."

Since I have basically planned my return to pot in 6 days (with strong possibility for random pills and eventually a script), I have been all about the obsession. It's driving me crazy. So this line came to me at the end of the meeting and when I said "just for today" I was committing to thought-stopping the cycle of what,when,where,how to get substances next week. As a result my sense of peace was a little more pronounced today.
 
Thanks Spork. You too Cohesion. <3 I feel a little better this afternoon. Still really flat, crash I've been seeing coming and trying to hold off just long enough to get to the 10-12 days off work at Xmas for some much needed recovery time arrived just too soon. Been isolating more than I'd realised despite being dead bouncey on here and elsewhere. Perhaps that should have been a warning sign, trying to over-compensate a little for the isolating IRL.

Anyways, done some reaching out. Missed my Mum's birthday earlier in the week feeling really guilty but not wanting to talk, worry her with where I'm at. End result causing her all the more worry wondering if I'm even alive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Texted her a few times at least, will talk with her weekend. Tried my boss. Haven't been able to face work all week, just crawling under the duvet trying to sleep, sleeping pattern totally upside down. He's not replied. may have lost my job. We'll see.
 
unamused

the worse i feel, the more of a bitch i am. whatever i need from meds i definitely can't get from anything people can do for me when i don't have them
people just make it worse
agoraphobia
 
seems a lot of people are going through some tough times. so I feel hopeful that things will turn for the better for all of those struggling. :)
 
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