How are you in one word v. Pedalling through the dark currents

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overwhelmed

today has been a confronting day for me and i have taken steps to address things i have supressed far to long, its also been a humbling experience, i am not the super high functioning substance dependent person i thought i was, my substance dependence is equally damaging regardless of my situation in life
 
yucky

Having brain zaps. Getting off of Cymbalta is worse than kicking dope has ever been. This fucking sucks. I might go get some just to make this feeling go away :(
 
bleary
not much sleep,
third day/night of rain and the geriatric dogs who live inside absolutely lose it over thunder and pounding rain. damn dogs are as spoiled as it gets.
-izzy
 
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Scared.

I am fucking scared. I am going to see a methadone doctor today. I really do not want to do this, but I can't quit and I keep fucking up.
 
horny
never underestimate the power of amino acids, vitamins, exercise and diet!
Holy fuck, I feel like I'm in my 20's!

%) Glad to hear that OD! :)

Exercise does a person a lot of good. A good diet and supplements go a long way as well.

Scared.

I am fucking scared. I am going to see a methadone doctor today. I really do not want to do this, but I can't quit and I keep fucking up.

Have you tried buprenorphine (as in Suboxone, or Subutex)? It's a great option before you get on methadone, in case you are trying to avoid getting on methadone for ORT for whatever reason.

I wish you the best of luck - don't be scared though, if you are successful, then this will be the beginning to a new chapter in your life. This will slowly develop into a lot more agreeable one as you start having more money for real life items (i.e. food, shelter, medicine, not drugs, etc.) you will be happier and happier.

It could take days, weeks, months, maybe even a year or two, but cold turkey, or maintenance through buprenorphine or methadone, or even possibly a short taper, can really help you to turn your life around.
 
Tired. No sleep in over 24 hours and 2 docs appointments today. But atleast i got some bullshit out of the way so meh
 
my kitten came back some that is good.

That is really good to hear villian :)


Me: annoyed :!
I have had something wrong with my stomach every single day for the last 6 days. It's reeealllly getting tiresome.
Last night I pulled my abdominal muscles trying to move something heavy and now they are excruciating. And I was going to get back in to the gym today!! Now I can't. Grrrrr :x
 
Confused

The BL lounge leads me to the DARE website

April Fools? Although it's several hours away from April here
 
Justified

Self justification Friday, it's ok to get wasted because it's Friday, right?

Eh who am i kidding, i would be using some other excuse if it was Tuesday

however, hooray for Friday
 
LW-- +1 Mr. Baggins! :)

ATM: self-annoyed. Went for my first run of the season, and bonked out after just over a klick because my fracking lungs seized up. Every spring I seem to forget about that whole asthma/dust/cardio bad combination thing. Now it hurts to breathe <angryfase>
 
BRAIN ZAPS.

That's what this awful feeling is called. :X Quitting Cymbalta is making me feel worse that kicking dope ever did.<snip>
 
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exhausted
hit the gym in the early am and hit it hard again tonight after work
feels so fucking good!!!!
 
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