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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word v. Pedalling through the dark currents

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Asclepius,
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thanks doll! I'm trying here, goddamnit! Hahah!
Panic,
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that thought is fucking terrifying! Especially since I'll be approaching 31 in 8 years! Christ! Where the hell did time go? Haha! Thank you for bringing that up, though! The 'terrifying' thoughts are honestly the ones I need to hear.

Mood as of now: Resilient. I've detoxed way harder than this before—will be up and down mood wise, but I've been through fucking hell and back. This is N O T H I N G in comparison to what I've experienced/felt. I know I still possess good qualities, I just need to work on putting them into action more. Life will be my bitch, if I need to mess up ten million more times to get there. It will happen.
 
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uneasy

I've been having some major cravings over the past 48 hours or so. I'll have a year clean in 30 days and I'm strong enough to stay sober and not give up that clean time but fuck I sure am tempted. :\

Something has been going on with me recently and I don't know what the fuck. My life is better then it has been in years so why does it seem like such a good idea to throw it all away?
 
miserable

The last week I went through a gram of methoxetamine and today is my first day without. The real world is pretty fucking ugly and boring. I'm sick of it all. I have nothing to look forward to, no real options, no future. bleh. I'll keep on pushing forward, it'd just be nice if i had some idea where i was going.
 
panic in paradise said:
investigative-!

ready to go start a fight-
release some frustrations-
and allow a good swing of theirs to knock this damn tooth out of my head...

omgggg
rolls eyes deliriously*
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What is wrong with your tooth? That might be what is pissing you off.

My word: frustrated. I CANNOT STAND the drivers anywhere but California, sometimes not even there, and anyone who has ever driven with me knows why. I do not have the option not to drive.

I'd hitchhike if I could, seriously.
 
horny
never underestimate the power of amino acids, vitamins, exercise and diet!
Holy fuck, I feel like I'm in my 20's!
 
panic in paradise said:
^you just may be cRAzY and resilient enough to save your own life...
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Panic, realistic compliments like those are the type that forever remain ingrained in my mind. That meant a lot to me dude, and it was said when I needed to hear it—very impactful. Greatly appreciated!
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Mood as of now: Moody. Dear lady part, I know this menstruation deal has to happen every month, but can we please reschedule? You seem to enjoy doubling up the cramp factor and it makes me almost consider divorcing you and making you sleep on the couch. I really don't want to resort to such measures.
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