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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word v. Pedalling through the dark currents

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Distraught.
34nnvpc.jpg

In need of positive vibes. According to multiple family members, I came out of the fucking womb scowling and analyzing everything around me. Apparently not much has changed except the fact that I'm a hardcore fucking drug addict that doesn't respond well to therapy. FIX ME, I'LL PAY YOU!
 
AWAKE. 5am. Gonna force myself to wake up in 2-3 hours so I can fall asleep at a normal time tomorrow. Took me forever to get back to a normal sleep/wake schedule which lasted about one day and then day by day it crept back...
 
lucky

despite the shit that keeps piling up, getting over pneumonia and pericarditis and mastoiditis all in the last 6 weeks, being betrayed by my ex-fiancee to a level previously incomprehensible to me and the two court cases and three car accidents iv had in the past month and getting jumped and jacked and who knows what else by some muppet who slipped shit in my drink as i was already blackout drunk, i have the overwhelming sensation that everything is as it should be. i am so grateful to have found such beautiful people in the darkest of places, and isolation is turning to solitude.



paranoid android said:
feeling abit down and kinda worried.
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<3
hygge, ae.
 
Many hugs FF... glad you can see the good out of everything that has happened.

my word:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

off to work ...........
 
Tink, when a girl on the bus told my 13 year old daughter (long ago) she was to dumb to know any big words she said "not true 'supercalifragilisticexpialicunt'". She was in trouble with the school, but I was unable to get mad, lol!
My word- anxious.
 
Proud.
52e7uv.gif

I was planning on buying some pills to taper on, and when I woke up this morning, my body felt almost painless, the sun was shining brightly through my blinds, and even the sound of moving traffic echoed elegantly to me. The second I heard everything around me, I paused. I realized everything beautiful was everything that I have been avoiding. I have been realizing this a lot lately, haha. I laid in bed hoping for the 'answer' to come to me, as if through some sign of divinity. I looked around the room, saw all of the cute things I have everywhere, and I just couldn't stop smiling. I chuckled facetiously, opened the blinds, and told myself that if the light was bright enough to evoke another positive emotion, I wasn't getting the pills. Sure enough, it was just lovely. I then proceeded to text message my dealer simply stating that I wasn't able to meet up with him. He responded in an equally polite and straightforward manner stating "No more pills for SOoO". I know he will end up changing his mind (he just said that thinking I would be upset and change my mind...you can't manipulate this manipulator! Ha!) With that said, I will be changing my number this evening!
 
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^ Haha, totally.
I need the assurance of knowing that I won't have to deal with him contacting me in a week; he knows he's far more impoverished without my funds.
 
SideOrderOfOpiates said:
Proud.
52e7uv.gif

I was planning on buying some pills to taper on, and when I woke up this morning, my body felt almost painless, the sun was shining brightly through my blinds, and even the sound of moving traffic echoed elegantly to me. The second I heard everything around me, I paused. I realized everything beautiful was everything that I have been avoiding. I have been realizing this a lot lately, haha. I laid in bed hoping for the 'answer' to come to me, as if through some sign of divinity. I looked around the room, saw all of the cute things I have everywhere, and I just couldn't stop smiling. I chuckled facetiously, opened the blinds, and told myself that if the light was bright enough to evoke another positive emotion, I wasn't getting the pills. Sure enough, it was just lovely. I then proceeded to text message my dealer simply stating that I wasn't able to meet up with him. He responded in an equally polite and straightforward manner stating "No more pills for SOoO". I know he will end up changing his mind (he just said that thinking I would be upset and change my mind...you can't manipulate this manipulator! Ha!) With that said, I will be changing my number this evening!
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You should be proud of yourself there cause i know from experience it takes alot to turn down any opiate during WD.

As for me im in a similar situation and expected to be sick as fuck by now and depressed but im not. Is there some kinda weird flu around making opiate WD's more bearable? 8o
 
anxious

someone left the door open and my kitten ran off. I hope he comes back soon.. I figure he will be alright because he lived outside for like a month before I adopted him in December.. I just hope nothing happens to him I <3 him very much
 
yeah my dad just hasnt been taking his blood pressure medicine. spent a solid 12 hours in the ER the other day. tired as shit, and not to mention i got drug tested coming back here.

i just want to scream!

frustrated
 
theartofwar said:
fucking pissed. budding like crazy - gonna go live in a fucking igloo until things calm down.
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hey man, i'm down to move into a igloo with ya, do we get to mate with penguins? :)


i'm content,
got my cellphone working, even though it isn't fancy like everyone elses phone. i can call my sponsor 24.7 now :)
 
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