fakeplastictrees4
Bluelighter
i want to die
havent felt this in a while.
havent felt this in a while.
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how are you in one word? v. Happiness is in your hands
- Thread starter Maya
- Start date
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
herbavore--it has been 32 days since I took my last oxycodone after 4 years of steady use. I went through what we all know is the hell of withdrawal. But my fatigue level is still so intense that it's affecting everything in my life. I can still barely get myself showered and dressed without pausing to rest. My work is suffering--I feel like my head is stuffed with cotton. My friends are wondering where I am, but I don't want to tell them about my pill use. My husband is supportive and wonderful, but the entire workload is on him now. Even my dog has given up asking me to play. This feels overwhelming. More than the first two weeks of withdrawal, because then I had hope of it getting better "soon." So yes, I feel hopeless right now.
I wrote that before my appointment with my doctor today. He offered to give me buprenorphine and/or Adderall. I told him I don't want to get on anything else that will mess with my body as badly as the hydrocodone/oxycodone did (we switched from one to the other when my tolerance for hydrocodone built up). Then he offered me an antidepressant. I told him I wasn't depressed...just sad and hopeless about the fatigue. He shrugged and told me to come back in a month to see if I change my mind.
I stick by my original word: Hopeless.
I wrote that before my appointment with my doctor today. He offered to give me buprenorphine and/or Adderall. I told him I don't want to get on anything else that will mess with my body as badly as the hydrocodone/oxycodone did (we switched from one to the other when my tolerance for hydrocodone built up). Then he offered me an antidepressant. I told him I wasn't depressed...just sad and hopeless about the fatigue. He shrugged and told me to come back in a month to see if I change my mind.
I stick by my original word: Hopeless.
Smoky
Bluelight Crew
rested
Calm
foolsgold
Bluelighter
depressed but starting to find peace slipping in
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Happy and calm. Content. Daydreamy.
Azure Cloud
Bluelighter
Better
Saw a therapist yesterday for the first time since my brother lost his battle with depression. Took resumes and began prospecting for a new job today.
If life is an oyster then I'm gonna need some hot cocktail sauce?
Saw a therapist yesterday for the first time since my brother lost his battle with depression. Took resumes and began prospecting for a new job today.
If life is an oyster then I'm gonna need some hot cocktail sauce?
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Haha, nice, I like that. 
Talking to a therapist feels good, right? I really like mine.
Talking to a therapist feels good, right? I really like mine.
Azure Cloud
Bluelighter
Talking to a therapist is the best decision I've made in a long time.
Unburdening.....ahhhhh
I like mine a lot as well
Unburdening.....ahhhhh
I like mine a lot as well
Ds
Bluelight Crew
Upset.
Chatative
Bluelight Crew
^ A change of environment can do wonders for mood.
Fatigued. (I'm getting back to sleep despite waking early but I actually feel more tired during the day for it... can't win. 8))
Fatigued. (I'm getting back to sleep despite waking early but I actually feel more tired during the day for it... can't win. 8))
Mariposa
Bluelight Crew
emotional
Today would have been my mother's 60th birthday. It's hard to pick up the pieces from her loss even 18 years later. Also fortunate to be able to walk to honor her memory together with friends.
Today would have been my mother's 60th birthday. It's hard to pick up the pieces from her loss even 18 years later. Also fortunate to be able to walk to honor her memory together with friends.