How are you in one word? v. 2012

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^- damn

Im feelin a bit stressed now that xanax is low and im barly holdin on till next appointment grrr
 
Weaning
With codeine. No Heroin since Sunday.
Tomorrow - my 4th day - will be my longest period of abstinence in 8 months.
 
Spork, I repeated Anatomy II 3 times (those were the drone days) and had to dissect a smelly formaldehyde cat 3 times. Needless to say I at least learned how to skin an animal. I cans now become a hunter? Hearts seem way cooler to dissect!

it ended up being kind of fun. :) we're dissecting an eye later in the semester, not sure how i feel about that yet haha. i don't think i could ever dissect a cat. i <3 them wayyyy too much.

my word now is relieved :)
 
^^ I'm the same hun, I could never dissect a kitty :(
But dissecting eyes is really cool! Fascinating :)


Weaning
With codeine. No Heroin since Sunday.
Tomorrow - my 4th day - will be my longest period of abstinence in 8 months.
That is awesome, keep it up!! <3



I am broken :(
 
^- damn

Im feelin a bit stressed now that xanax is low and im barly holdin on till next appointment grrr

Oh god KAYLA, ive been there, still there maybe, n if not constantly going back, That stuff is hard to hold onto isnt it?

n3o Im sorry to hear ur down :( but sending you lots of <3

My word: Dogshit barley a wink o sleep sweats, sick, runs, RLS, Not goin too dandy folks, Body is screaming for a pipe or a drink, xanax has had little effect due to me being an idiot :|
 
Oh god KAYLA, ive been there, still there maybe, n if not constantly going back, That stuff is hard to hold onto isnt it?

n3o Im sorry to hear ur down :( but sending you lots of <3

My word: Dogshit barley a wink o sleep sweats, sick, runs, RLS, Not goin too dandy folks, Body is screaming for a pipe or a drink, xanax has had little effect due to me being an idiot :|

I hope you feel better yourself!

Also- s m f .. It is fuckin hard especially with familly members taking my shit.... I am already starting to feel the weird head feelings from the weaning i have to do to get by till next app.

Hugs everyone

To everyone seems we are all in a difficult time hugs to everyone <3
 
Dumb


It's been a while since we last kicked it, and I really try to stay away from you and all the other guys who used to hang out at the apartments.. But doing the old shit again brings back memories and makes me feel like the last year has been bland. I'll push my chips and see what happens if I get involved with you guys again, I shouldn't but I'm bored. If it weren't for me you wouldn't be known like you are, you were a geeky wannabe punk rocker sophomore year. Now, I can't say what happened but we'll give this thing another go.
 
Focused! I am preparing myself for my first batch of self led exposure therapy, wish me good luck people
 
Starting to feel devastated . I don't know what I was going to expect. ugh. Today sucks fat dick. <triggering>

To bad I can't do the whole memory erasing thing like in ESM, but with out the whole re-meeting aspect. Just a whole period of memory loss for the past 7 months.




Thank god methadone gets rid of my libido, especially incombo with clonazepam. I'm more than happy to have sex be the last thing on my mind, and I really cant enjoy masturbating (last time was atleast two weeks ago) any. Shit pops in my head making me lose all my desire to do anything.

Honestly kinda wish I was a-sexual. If I didn't have relationships to worry about my life would still not be that great, but it would be 100x easier to deal with.
 
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^^ I feel you mate - best wishes ^^


Slightly better.
Its been a week since I last scored - four days since I used (I smoked five lines last Sunday).
I started out on 300mgs of codeine and now I'm down to 90mgs which I took this morning. I also smoked a very minimal amount of hash to ease the boredom and Saturday should be my last dose.
I also applied for a job today :)

@Doomed2Pain: Good to hear!!
 
^been there before. for me it passed when i got to know him a little better and realized how not for me he was.

I had not felt a hormone for a couple of years thanks to heroin addiction, and I've been working/studying in male-dominated fields for ages. Now I'm one of three guys (and the only straight one) on a team of 16 or 17, and I feel like I'm about 16 again and want to ask one of them to the prom. It's more of a physical thing really, since I've felt "emotional attraction" during my addiction, but a lot of the erotic qualities went out the window. I understand that neither my boss nor my coworkers are right for me, but the novelty of it all is still going strong. At least it makes the day go faster and the s*** pay more acceptable.

sick

The past two days I have been fighting something off, but today I gave in and admitted that I was sick. Very scratchy throat, stomach ache and body aches. Thank goodness I have nothing at all to do today, so I can hopefully recover in time for a full day tomorrow.
 
Rubbish RL, I hope you feel better soon! <3

Today I am tired but okay. Two words I know, but that is summarising things a lot haha..
 
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