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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word? v. 2012

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Scared.

After two flats in our house were broken in on Tuesday, there was a fire in the basement yesterday. I was taking a nap on the couch when I woke up and smelled smoke. I instantly stood up and checked wether it was something in my flat, but it wasn't. Then I opened the door of my flat and the hall was full of smoke. Fuck! Took a jacket and a scarf before my mouth and rushed down virtually without breathing. Our landlady had noticed it too and was calling the fire department. They came with 5 or 6 vehicles a few minutes later and the fire was cleared 15 minutes later. Apparently some kind of trash paper had caught fire, and they didn't find a reason why.

To put this into context, the flat of our landlady was broken in twice within a week in January last year, the second time she was at home and was harmed. She suspected that it was a former partner of hers, and the police searched for him but didn't find him. And now this.
 
[eK] said:
Regretful.

Drugs win yet another round.
This game is getting old
Click to expand...
Damn dude this sucks to hear :( Take care of yourself, ya hear? See you tomorrow <3


I am a deeply concerned about a friend, I just heard she is in a really bad way and have no way of contacting her :(
 
[eK] said:
Regretful.

Drugs win yet another round.
This game is getting old
Click to expand...

Which drugs?

I'm sure there are plenty of helpful harm reduction threads about those drugs around this site that we can link you. Like info on how to recover, how often and how much to safely use in moderation, etc.
 
Thizz Machine said:
Which drugs?

I'm sure there are plenty of helpful harm reduction threads about those drugs around this site that we can link you. Like info on how to recover, how often and how much to safely use in moderation, etc.
Click to expand...

Cocaine now.
I managed to forget about ice..
Cokes the fucking worst, it consumes SO much hard earned money.
I feel so bad. Not because of the highs & lows, but because I spent an entire weeks pay on it yesterday - for no particular reason :-/
I suck with self control, and self respect.
Thanks for showing some concern,
I've spent year reading harm reduction threads, trying to find ways to get over silly habits but I just tend to go from one substance to another, then another and another. Uuuuuuugh
 
Yea, I'm afraid of getting a habit of it soon (check my last blog). But keep trying man, easier said than done, but just think of the other more important things that money could be used for if not spent on coke.
 
yearning.

I miss you, I loved the way you say Hi to me on the phone. It was the sweetest thing in the world. :( I don't care you don't want to talk to me, I'm going to mail you some gift tomorrow, one of them homemade and from the heart. I know this is stupid, but I'm going to do it anyway.
 
I have a feeling they might just not even bother to open it and throw in the trash. I honestly wouldn't be surprised. I honestly don't care though, I care about them so much and I'm going to make the effort to express it through the last medium that is available to me to do so.

I don't have much money, but the gifts I'm sending (still contemplating one item but two of them are definite) mean a lot to me. I'm hoping she'll see that I care and want my bestfriend back.
 
Also wishing you the best with that Splat;)

Right now im Dissapointed not gonna go further into it other than to say well it looks like im remaining poor for another few months:(
 
better

I had 2 relapses with at least benzos recently with fairly shitty consequences, but not nearly as bad as they could of been (im talking about blacking out for days on end, so the consequences can be pretty fucking severe). I've been contemplating why I gave up 21 months of no pills, and than the obvious clicked. It was because I was handling the stress from a relationship badly. I am simply *not* ready to be a relationship yet. I thought I had my shit together long enough, but I was wrong. I still have a lot of work to do on myself before I am ready to be in another relationship. I miss sex, and I miss companionship, and I know I might get pretty fucking lonely but I simply still haven't healed the root issues that lead to 10 years of destructive polydrug abuse in the first place. When I get stressed out, drugs are still the first thing to come to mind. I need to minimize my stress levels.

It makes me feel better to realize why I was acting out like I did, when I was doing well for so long. I'm more or less back on track now, I'm just smoking marijuana which while not ideal isn't the end of the world for me either. I don't ruin relationships or crash cars or wake up in jail when I smoke a blunt. Xanax, not so much.
 
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