GetMeOutOfThisCRAP
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2017
- Messages
- 1,940
That's one of the nasty things here; after using for so long one doesn't really know any more how the actual baseline state would feel like. My guess is, that you got yourself into this habit not because your life is all happy and shiny, am i right? So there is the reflex/temptation so say: "I feel like shit because of XY and this is how the future is going to look like for me (foreeeever!) etc." which makes you buy into this funk and then it breaks you.
Win yourself some time, by e.g. saying "i have a limited perspective here, i will evaluate the situation on day XY, but until then i will not react or draw any quick conclusions and be stubborn as a mountaingoat", ..or something like that. Do you know what i mean? And even if you fall of the wagon after, say 3 days, in this time you have done some work, don't neglect that! The next time you try, it will be easier because of this (unless you use continuously again).
Or you could flip over to the Recovery Support subforum and barf yourself out if you think it might help? But who am i telling, you are way longer here than me. All the best..
Initially discovered the beauty of percocet and for a while it improved the quality of my life.. until the doses became 4 M30 blues a day if I fast forward the story. I switched to kratom to escape that habit because it was clearly going nowhere better despite how much I love opioids. I was in a prestigious schooling program at the time, and it was taking a huge toll on my mental health as depression/anxiety was so hard to manage without opioids. The social environment was also very unkind and highly competitive in which opioids helped to blast away the negativity. Now I'm just left with an addiction, lol.
But I really do like your perspective. It did feel like life would never be good again.
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