Hooray for Man-whoring... Best pick up lines EVER

[Rubber_Duck]

You say to the girl....

"Can i take you to the bar for a drink"

wait for the "yes"

"So i can push your stool in" 8(

 

[up all night]

Man: Excuse me, can I buy you a drink.
Woman: No, I'm not interested.
Man: I'm sorry you must of misunderstood me, I said you look fat in that dress.

haha A guy said that to me once [but substitute dress for skirt] and I was so impressed that we ended up talking and I gave him my number.

I pick up lines.

 

[KemicalBurn]

You say to the girl....

"Can i take you to the bar for a drink"

wait for the "yes"

"So i can push your stool in" 8(

I dont get it?

 

[quiet roar]

But one i'd like to use is:

"Hey, I'm all out of lines, can I just take you home and convince you over breakfast?"

he he. I like that one.

Also the "come on, lower your standards... I did!"

 

[Rubber_Duck]

I dont get it?

Its more a joke than a pick up line, nevertheless, I have used it before…..

To ask a girl to have drink at the bar and to push her stool in,

Stool is another word for faeces, other words anal,……so basically saying in a comical way il take you to the bar, get you drunk and il have sex with you, using the word stool with two meanings,

If girls get it, they laugh……..if they don’t get it all my mayts laugh at her…..Meh!!

 

[Mary Poppins]

this one is an absolute screamer that our old mate

gliam the gleep cracked out with last night

to ozbreaker

"hey ladies don't you think that rui is like the sexiest man in the whole world?"

then 2 seconds later

"do you wanna go out for dinner?"

and then

"but i don't want to have sex with you"

thanks f or making our night gliam

 

[ozbreaker]

MP you cheapen what could have been such a beautiful thing..

 

[m4dd0g]

"ok, buy me a drink, see if i care" + act disappointed
if they laugh, act serious and say "um, im not kidding ... and you better get me something expensive"
if they try to talk, cut them off with a "look, im not talking to you until i get my drink, do you really think Im that easy?"

all time classic cheese:
"is your daddy a thief?"
"cos i was wondering who stole the stars and put them in your eyes"

i need to go scrub in the shower now

 

[FaTz]

Normally if I see a girl sitting down at club/pub by herself I'll walk over. Then sit down, and start telling her the story about the South American Leprechauns. And about how they all lived in Ireland but due to the great potato faman(sp) of 1648 the grew starving, so almost all the Leprechauns moved to South america so they could grow more potatos in the amazon forest.

All up the story goes for about 5-10 minutes. The whole time she's wetting herself laughing, i finish the story and go up to the bar and by her a drink and we keep chatting. It hasn't failed me yet, and i've used it 13 times (I have a little book where I tally it up )... However I've given it up now, I'm just looking for my own Daniel Santo pass my knowledge onto

 

[Damn Youngen]

FaTz:
Please. for the love of god, Pass on the story to the young who still have ample oppertunity to use it. PLEASE!
*begs*

 

[FaTz]

haha, the moral of my post is to be your self. If you can sit down with a girl you've NEVER met in your life, and talk outta crap about something you've made up for 5-10 minutes, and she's still listening and laughing by the end of it then maybe, just maybe she may actually have taken interest in you :D

 

[preacha]

Me: i know your not a virgin
Her: yeah and?
Me: but can i have the box it came in

its "i know you've lost your virginity, but can i have the box it came in"
what you said made no sense whatsoever

and seriously, why be yourself when in reality people are neurotic, selfish and socially incompetent? it isn't that easy for the majority of people, it's why you see ugly guys with good looking girls (charisma) and attractive guys who fuck ugly girls (no self worth)

of course you could play the 'personality' card, but noone approaches someone in a bar thinking "man, i bet she would give an awesome social commentary about the displaced jews post-ww2"

sadly, the best way to get a girl's attention are back handed compliments. drive her self worth down while still showing interest. no female wants a supplicative man

now......you guys can wonder whether im kidding :D

 

[MoeBro]

^^actually, raw physical attraction tends to work rather well, followed by having a large penis.

When they know that, you're pretty much set, and can spout whatever you like.

Making them laugh is good too, so I hear...

 

[preacha]

but i dont have any of that moe, am i doomed to be lonely?

 

[up all night]

^ Says the guy who's been fucking his bitch for years.

And preacha, you've been taking tips from your mate's dating site haven't you.

I get worried when people say 'just be yourself'. Which self am I meant to be? The evil morning beast who would rip your balls off if you tried to make her do something before 9am? The drunken goofball who will invariably slur obscenities until she passes out with her face in a flowerpot? The cynical bitch who will attempt to cut you down if you open your mouth? Hmmm who to be, who to be.

My tip is; get hideously drunk. It's hot.

 

[[S]alvatore]

Normally if I see a girl sitting down at club/pub by herself I'll walk over. Then sit down, and start telling her the story about the South American Leprechauns. And about how they all lived in Ireland but due to the great potato faman(sp) of 1648 the grew starving, so almost all the Leprechauns moved to South america so they could grow more potatos in the amazon forest.

All up the story goes for about 5-10 minutes. The whole time she's wetting herself laughing, i finish the story and go up to the bar and by her a drink and we keep chatting. It hasn't failed me yet, and i've used it 13 times (I have a little book where I tally it up )... However I've given it up now, I'm just looking for my own Daniel Santo pass my knowledge onto

LOL, you have to post/email the story to me, it sounds hilarious.

 

[ozbreaker]

Normally if I see a girl sitting down at club/pub by herself I'll walk over. Then sit down, and start telling her the story about the South American Leprechauns. And about how they all lived in Ireland but due to the great potato faman(sp) of 1648 the grew starving, so almost all the Leprechauns moved to South america so they could grow more potatos in the amazon forest.

All up the story goes for about 5-10 minutes. The whole time she's wetting herself laughing, i finish the story and go up to the bar and by her a drink and we keep chatting. It hasn't failed me yet, and i've used it 13 times (I have a little book where I tally it up )... However I've given it up now, I'm just looking for my own Daniel Santo pass my knowledge onto

When I met you on the weekend you tried that story on me..

damn.

another missed opportunity.

 

[ian_strong]

i went out to see a friend not long ago, wen i seen her she had her hair in pigtails and i said "fuck they look awesome, im gonna smash u l8r..." she just laughed and sed "gilly!!" needless to say i ended up takin her home

 

[m4dd0g]

^ Says the guy who's been fucking his bitch for years.

And preacha, you've been taking tips from your mate's dating site haven't you.

I get worried when people say 'just be yourself'. Which self am I meant to be? The evil morning beast who would rip your balls off if you tried to make her do something before 9am? The drunken goofball who will invariably slur obscenities until she passes out with her face in a flowerpot? The cynical bitch who will attempt to cut you down if you open your mouth? Hmmm who to be, who to be.

My tip is; get hideously drunk. It's hot.

lol

i vote the one where you get outrageously drunk, stumble around, sing folk tunes, embarrass all your friends, then at the end of the night sleep with anything that can string a sentence together, has a heartbeat and dangly bits

caution: this approach only works for females and gay guys

 

[UnSquare]

_/

^ Says the guy who's been fucking his bitch for years.

And preacha, you've been taking tips from your mate's dating site haven't you.

I get worried when people say 'just be yourself'. Which self am I meant to be? The evil morning beast who would rip your balls off if you tried to make her do something before 9am? The drunken goofball who will invariably slur obscenities until she passes out with her face in a flowerpot? The cynical bitch who will attempt to cut you down if you open your mouth? Hmmm who to be, who to be.

My tip is; get hideously drunk. It's hot.

I love you more ev'ry time you post.