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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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Carl Landrover said:
Still got a little wheezing and coughing going on, but that's getting better. Nice to be able to breathe again; nose is all clear too! One cool thing about a week of coughing your balls off is that it really tones your upper abs near the diaphragm and your obliques. %)


Can NOT shake these night sweats. :! I think I need to go out for a run and sweat a ton or something (my lungs are still hurtin too much though). Everytime I fall asleep I wake up sweating, it sucks.

Last night I awoke after 2 hours of sleep and my pillow, sheets, and blankets were so soaked that I couldn't lay on them again. I slept on towels after that.
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sweating like that can really start to wear on you, when you finally are able to start snoozing, only to be awoken by that... with my last alcohol w/d was worse then past H w/d. with booze the sweats actually persisted a while after many other symptoms had left. yuk.

sounds like you are taking it in stride though and doing it the right way, and 1/2 knowing you im sure for the right reasons. ;)

ive always been able to step back from opioids unlike pretty much everything else(which im abstinent from), i guess i like to feel opioids when i use them and start stopping when my tolerance gets too high, that goes for pain too & thats the real problem for me...!
 
panic in paradise said:
sweating like that can really start to wear on you, when you finally are able to start snoozing, only to be awoken by that... with my last alcohol w/d was worse then past H w/d. with booze the sweats actually persisted a while after many other symptoms had left. yuk.

sounds like you are taking it in stride though and doing it the right way, and 1/2 knowing you im sure for the right reasons. ;)
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The sweating thing is definitely starting to get annoying. I'm not getting much sleep as it is, and I only sleep for 1-3 hours at a time. Every time I wake up I'm sweating. It makes my bed feel so gross. :p The blankets get either damp or wet, and when I wake up I'm either hot and wet under blankets or cold and wet when I throw them off.

If the second part with the winky face is referring to a special someone, they're no longer in my life. Hopefully just temporarily, but I don't know if we'd ever date again.


I'm getting clean for me. Though I'd still like to be a better me for someone else. :\ :)
 
I can relate about the sweat thing being one of the absolute worst, especially when combined with restless sleep. To me it is more annoying than the alch w/d version, where i'm in so much other godamn pain I guess it doesn't bother as much.
I'm on day six of my pod taper to nothing and last night got really tossyturny trying to get comfortable and sleep. I'm going slowly enough with the taper that the sweats are more like a flash that passes quickly. I also have a cold running which works well to mask my minor symptoms.
While I'm on to just two pods once a day, the duration (2years SOLID up to 10+ powderized at times, sometimes 2x a day) will provide pain in less severe but more drawn out ways I think. This is the only real attempt to quit in this whole time, and so far I've been able to stick to my plan. I've been able to shake the depression and anxiety by hard exercise.
I have an ultrasound next week on my gall bladder, that shit really woke me up to what I was doing and got me on this taper.
....I did not tell the doc about my pod usage, I was just in and out, easy not to make the opportunity happen.
I will be so glad not to have to travel with my damn kit. I powdered that shit when I would go to Hawaii to visit fam- enough of that! Wow though, they may think it's heroin or something...hundreds of grams!!! Crazy.
I've been through bad OC w/ds a couple times, and am happy to say that this feels like the way to go.
I've actually learned something along the way.
Not much, but it's an improvement in the way we here measure things.
Thanks for the inspiration all.
 
This is officially the longest I've been off of all opiates/opioids since sometime last October/November.

I don't think I've gone more than 15 days since sometime in the first half of 2008.


This is a good start. It seems kind of daunting thinking about getting to months of time away from opiates. So focusing on day 8 and only day 8.
 
I haven't had a good long kick from poppy tea in a while, but I can definitely remember falling asleep cold and waking up shortly after burning up and sweating.

One night I took a high dose of GHB and ended up passing out in bed naked with porn blaring on the computer (lol) and all the lights on. When I woke up my bed was soaked like you guys are talking about. I've never had that happen before until then but it was awful. When I went to get back to bed all the covers were soaked and cold *shudder*

Congratulations Carl - I remember when I was starting to a little bit like myself the last time I quit. Flashes of emotions I haven't felt and just the overall magic of life returning. I think a lot of my problem with opiates comes from wanting to run away from these sorts of things.
 
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i think u might b reading me wrong/reading the wrong thread....

LunaInFurs said:
drug_wench --- There is nothing wrong with meth. I have been on methadone on and off for a little over 10 years now and I cant say that it is such a horrible medication to be on. A lot of people view methadone as this little piece of liquid magic in a cup. I first got on meth when I was 17 and to be honest , for the next 8 or so years it did nothing for me but keep me from waking up sick and miserable for one reason and one reason only...I WAS STILL SHOOTING UP 150-250 (and every single penny that I somehow managed to save, steal, or con) dollars worth of heroin daily. Methadone is just a tool, the decision to stop using has to come from the individual using, otherwise it's not worth shit, no matter how high the dose is. And no, I dont believe in the whole '' blocking dose'' bullshit. I know if I really want to use, I will do so no matter how high or low my daily dose is. It will just take me a bit more dope to get high. I am currently on 47 mg and I am (hopefully) in the process of slowly detoxing. I will try 5 mg a month until I hit 15-20... Depending on how I feel , I might go a bit slower.
So for everyone considering methadone as a long term treatment... please be honest with yourself!!! Oh, and when they tell you that you HAVE to go up because of dirty tox results, please know that you dont have to unless you decide that upping your dose is in your best interest!
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well if ur taking 47mg of 'done it wont block heroin no

i was just trying to b helpful and welcome u.....u dont nd to get shitty about wat i say
tbh if uve ever read parts of my blog, then ud see why, but i hurt pretty fucking easily....and that hurt

i personally still hav heroin cravings sometimes - the fact that im coming off diaz means i never truly stabilise on methadone
i still dont listen to those cravings
why?
cos i dont want to end up going back to that smack dealer and getting fucking gang-raped again
think thats enough to put me off using tbh

and yea u do hav to b ready to get on 'done but sometimes its 'do or die' eh
thats why i suggested it to u

i started this thread for ppl looking for help/support to get off opiates after all so one cant help assuming wen a n00b joins that thats why theyre here :\

i suggest u read the OP of evry thread u post in
if u dont want to give up/slow down ur H use...this probly isnt the thread for u

again, welcome to TDS anyway and sorry if i offended u in some way (cos u wudnt respond the way u did unless u were either just an asshole - which i doubt u r, being with a nice guy like phillydedhed.....or something i said pissed u off :\)
my problem is that i just want to help ppl come to a solution - hence why all the threads i start r solution-based

maybe u shud make ur own thread about ur H prob out of here? trouble is that most ppl on TDS dont just say 'there there' and give u a pat on the back....they try to help u find a solution

if u dont want help, u can always use ur blog for a gd moan - i do it plenty...

btw: plz dont reply to this if ur going to b bitchy again cos like i say im just too fucked-up for that atm (and i always try to b nice to ppl - thats kinda wat this forums about...)

back to my own journey, well ive dropped my diaz again, had my night dose put up and just picked up the script today....tbh im already going into dopesickness-phase now so im looking forward to taking the raised dose

cudnt get out of bed easily this morning

carl, from reading ur posts, sounds like ur still on the same road u were on wen i was last still posting in TDS (seems a long time ago, but i just completely broke down tbh)
i admire that whether u still lapse/relapse or not, u keep on fighting the demon
heroins not easy to get off
i found that out the hard way
tbh if i hadnt had wat happened to me happen, then id probly still b going to that dealer now.....

methadone may fuck with me at times (like wen i want to go away) but im glad i can now lead a fairly normal life
i can walk around all day without even thinking about where i hav to go to shoot up now.....life is gd
and now ive got a gf whos not into opiates at all (ok shes into my main DOC methamphetamine, but were even getting that majorly under control)
ive never had love that hasnt bn based on drugs before
i didnt know anyone CUD luv me, didnt think i was worthy of it (sometimes i still dont - my self-esteems pretty low) but yea....as long as im stable on my current dose of methadone then im not hanging out anymore
 
hey kc <3<3

ur welcome made me feel much better hun - and i hope things r improving for u
u were making some brave moves last time i talked to u on here :D
 
^^^
Wow, I still remember when you were getting clean to begin with. I can't believe that it's already been 7 months.

As badly as I want to quit my current addiction to poppy tea, I just can't seem to fathom a life without getting high. I'm just too lonely and bored I suppose. There is this girl who has caught my eye and I've been thinking about her a lot lately (I know she told a coworker of mine that she thought I was really cute too) but I don't think anything can come of it. She has a boyfriend and though I don't know how serious it is I'm not going to expect her to break it off just for me.

It figures that any of the girls that I meet that I really truly like for a change are always in a relationship. She's the kind of girl that I could change my life for - I know it sounds cliched but I honestly think that if I woke up every morning knowing that she was my girlfriend it would give me so much positive energy to take and apply to giving up this worthless addiction. I know that I should want to get sober for me (and I suppose in a way I do) but I just think that if I had that girl it would be 100% worth it to me to clean up so I could give her the 100% that SHE deserves.

I think that I have been using poppy tea as a way of covering up my loneliness for a long time now. Who feels lonely when they're nodding off in a chair 4 times a week in a dream land? Who feels lonely when there is a warm euphoria wrapped around your soul? Of course, come withdrawal time these feelings of loneliness and all repressed emotions seem to come back 10-fold so I guess they still find there way out somehow :|
 
sup yall?

Hey everyone, I've creeped around these forums for as far back as I can remember, but have never posted. I'm currently a Sr. in college and recently decided to kick using the brown :!. Read up on most of the posts around here and just want to say how helpful they are. This has been the hardest thing to do in my life, I've now made it since the 23/24th of Nov. and the physical pain is finally subsiding!!! (used for ~1yr) No more killer back pain, cold sweats, muscle spasms etc... I'm hoping to keep this up and am thinking I can refer back to this post at those certain times of tedium. I have found that working out eases the PAWs and allows me to focus on something (other than final exams). I wish all of you the best.
 
imsodoneski said:
Hey everyone, I've creeped around these forums for as far back as I can remember, but have never posted. I'm currently a Sr. in college and recently decided to kick using the brown :!. Read up on most of the posts around here and just want to say how helpful they are. This has been the hardest thing to do in my life, I've now made it since the 23/24th of Nov. and the physical pain is finally subsiding!!! (used for ~1yr) No more killer back pain, cold sweats, muscle spasms etc... I'm hoping to keep this up and am thinking I can refer back to this post at those certain times of tedium. I have found that working out eases the PAWs and allows me to focus on something (other than final exams). I wish all of you the best.
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Congrats on making such a great decision. As time wears on, and you get more and more of your life back, you will become even more grateful that you chose to get clean. And, you will find new ways not just of coping, but of soaring...

Best wishes, Friend.
 
Just wanted to say I am currently 3 months clean from H, after a six month habit. I went to a detox center and suffered for 4 days. Then I got a shot of vivitrol right when I got out so I couldn't use for a month. I am already planning a reunion night with H, now that I'm clean. I'm hoping my tolerance will be a lot lower, my tolerance before was making my habit expensive.
 
^^
I know it's probably useless for me to say anything, because once you've committed you've committed (been there done that), but believe man...it isn't worth it at all.

You're tolerance will be lower the first few times you use, and then you'll just be right back where you left off. I know you're probably thinking that you wont let it get out of control this time, and hell...maybe you wont, but it sure didn't work that way for me and my relapse and believe me, I tried to make it work.

Good luck :\
 
eon_blue said:
^^
I know it's probably useless for me to say anything, because once you've committed you've committed (been there done that), but believe man...it isn't worth it at all.

You're tolerance will be lower the first few times you use, and then you'll just be right back where you left off. I know you're probably thinking that you wont let it get out of control this time, and hell...maybe you wont, but it sure didn't work that way for me and my relapse and believe me, I tried to make it work.

Good luck :\
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It's hard for me to argue you that because I'm sure you are speaking from personal experience, but all I can say is I will be forcing myself (already committed lots of money) to take that vivitrol shot again. The reason I can use in between is because the shot wears off after 30 days, and I have a couple days between shots to use. Once I get the shot though it will block all opiates, so that should stop me from fully relapsing. But othewise I completely agree with you.
 
I got into snorting heroin about a month ago. After getting high a few times, I picked up the needle because I wanted a better, cheaper high. Needless to say, I found what I was looking for. I've been shooting (not continuously) for two weeks. I immediately recognised the immense potential for addiction. I'm not hooked now, and hopefully I'll stay that way. Though I now have much greater respect for anyone who has gotten/is getting clean, after experiencing first hand what feeling you are leaving <3.
 
Hello from Central Mi

I am a 39 yr old person with a severe problem. I have been on prescription opiates for over 12 yrs. I have worked up to a current script of 100mg X3p/day of Morphine w/ 15mg IR for break through pain.

My biggest problem for the last 6 months is that I run out of my script too early. I know that it is my own fault and I usually just sit and wait. That worked until I ended up in the emergency room a couple of times. Which really sucked to say the least.

I often ask myself why I do not just start buying heroin, but I live in abject fear of jail.

Currently I am in the process of applying for the Michigan Medical Marijuana program and waiting for the doctor to mail me new script to me.

I recently moved to a new city and have none of my "'support" network in place. I hate myself when I use my script too fast, but I also deal with nearly constant pain

I do not want to go to the hospital again so I am gonna try to get through this week as best I can. Any suggestions would be appreciated?
 
Bob Loblaw said:
I got into snorting heroin about a month ago. After getting high a few times, I picked up the needle because I wanted a better, cheaper high. Needless to say, I found what I was looking for. I've been shooting (not continuously) for two weeks. I immediately recognised the immense potential for addiction. I'm not hooked now, and hopefully I'll stay that way. Though I now have much greater respect for anyone who has gotten/is getting clean, after experiencing first hand what feeling you are leaving <3.
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I recommend that you do everything in your power to take LONG breaks in between use (or of course, best of all would be to not use/inject at all).

I've been hooked on poppy tea since the first package and that's a relatively benign addiction when compared to IV heroin. I'm just saying be careful, you're playing with fire and I'm sure you know it. It's been well over a year now and the only thing that excites me anymore is getting high on PPT. I brewed some up last night to drink today before work and it literally took almost all of my will power to put it in the fridge and wait (I was in mild withdrawals too).
 
[thinking about her a lot lately (I know she told a coworker of mine that she thought I was really cute too) but I don't think anything can come of it. She has a boyfriend and though I don't know how serious it is I'm not going to expect her to break it off just for me.

It figures that any of the girls that I meet that I really truly like for a change are always in a relationship. She's the kind of girl that I could change my life for - I know it sounds cliched but I honestly think that if I woke up every morning knowing that she was my girlfriend it would give me so much positive energy to take and apply to giving up this worthless addiction. I know that I should want to get sober for me (and I suppose in a way I do) but I just think that if I had that girl it would be 100% worth it to me to clean up so I could give her the 100% that SHE deserves.

I think that I have been using poppy tea as a way of covering up my loneliness for a long time now. Who feels lonely when they're nodding off in a chair 4 times a week in a dream land? Who feels lonely when there is a warm euphoria wrapped around your soul? Of course, come withdrawal time these feelings of loneliness and all repressed emotions seem to come back 10-fold so I guess they still find there way out somehow
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Oh man this is exactly how i feel!!!!!! Thank god im not alone....


Fuck man its a shitty situation to be in :(.......... But i feel like pretty soon im gonna feel enough pain to want to quit opiates for good... or atleast i hope so..


But the question still remains if i need inpatient treatment or if i can do this on my own..

I think i already know the answer to that one
 
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