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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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will66 said:
for me I always wanted to quit while I was high and Fuck quiting when I was sick. Messed up thinking
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It makes sense though. We can't think clearly until we are high (or at the very least well) and when we are sick we only want to escape the terrible anguish and sensations of withdrawal. It's terrible.

On an unrelated note, it doesn't surprise me at all that people often OD after taking a break. I haven't been getting high from PPT for a couple of weeks, no matter how much I took. One of my shipments got delayed several days and I first fell back on stems (which only made me well for about 12 hours) and then had to face the withdrawals outright with only loperamide. I had tapered over 2 days, used enough to get high one day and then had to withdrawal another 3 days.

When my package arrived, I used my normal dose and felt that glowing warmth and euphoria for the first time in weeks, but there was no nod or anything. I used the same dose again the next night and ripped some headies out of the bong - I was so high I was actually a little worried. My body felt like jelly, I couldn't keep my head up at all or maintain my posture even sitting down. I felt out of breath and just overall not very good. I have been using for over a year now and it still shocks me how possible it is to overshoot dosage after even a short break.
 
Hey im trying to quit heroin right now. i jsut went through 4 days of WD and did today fucked up went threw all that for no reason i been using for 3 yrs sniffing it doing lke 35-40 bags a night. i dnt no how i can quit suboxone doesnt really help.. the problem i have is that i dnt no how to live life without the drug anymore. All i did was pull liens an sit chyll wit my boys that do it. and i got my own place in newark for college so do my boys so we can get so easily. I cnt concentrate on anything else i need help on staying of it what to do when im not doing it
 
I have had some rough days since Saturday's "gallstone" attack (self-diagnosed). Borderline attacks have made me decide to eat only veg/fruits this week, and today is the first day i'm not scared as hell it will happen again imminently. Wheatgrass juice everyday when I can. Monday I see the Doc. I've cut out sugar, gummy type candies may have been the culprit. In fact, I feel I may have created a borderline diabetic state in myself...pure speculation though

I took all my remaining pods, grouped them in descending intervals of lesser amounts stretching the next three weeks. 3-3-3-2-3-2-2-2-2-1-2-1.5-1.5-1.5-1-1...(sub crumbs, then maybe immodium)
I've found that the brief hikes up, smooth the ride down for me when a dose can stay in you for three days and you are really going on a rolling inventory of pod levels in your system.
I am going to say it for myself:
I am tapering in an attempt to quit pods in the NEAR future. The past 6 months have been me weaning from 10+ a day to about 3or4, with just a few setbacks here and there but no plan to cut it out.
I have 5 8mg suboxones that I purchased for an INSANE amount of money a while back. Broken in to crumbs this should be more way than enough to ease my reentry. I'm aware that I'll be using an " elephant gun" for a squirrel problem..
I'm not really scared because I've been at 3ct pods for a while, but it's been 2years mostly on! I'm actually kind of excited. My body will definitely have some unkind things to say when It recovers from the paralysis I've kept it on.
I will need to keep my guard up about alcohol desire reappearing.
It's already started. Day three is tomorrow.
I remember how good I felt when that shits outta my system- like dragging an anchor around, and you saying how great it is all the time.
I need this over.
 
Disealsuks23 said:
Hey im trying to quit heroin right now. i jsut went through 4 days of WD and did today fucked up went threw all that for no reason i been using for 3 yrs sniffing it doing lke 35-40 bags a night. i dnt no how i can quit suboxone doesnt really help.. the problem i have is that i dnt no how to live life without the drug anymore. All i did was pull liens an sit chyll wit my boys that do it. and i got my own place in newark for college so do my boys so we can get so easily. I cnt concentrate on anything else i need help on staying of it what to do when im not doing it
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I hate when you make it through the few days of WD then when you're feeling a little more back to normal you end up using again because 'it would feel really good' or 'this time you can handle getting high once'.


That binge last weekend brought back WDs more than I thought. Plus the constant wheezing/coughing doesn't help. That's gotten a lot better the last few days, but my sides are sore from coughing so much. :! It's a lot more tiring than you'd think.

Went through all of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday without using anything but weed, so I am pleased with that. :) Now in the first few hours of day 4. Since I haven't been using much lately I'm hoping it goes a little smoother than the last few days.

It's very comforting to think that on Sunday I might feel normal....and hopefully only be smoking weed. %) It is very freeing to not NEED to take an opiate just to feel normal. I got so sick of that. I am very excited about the possibility of being sober. =D
 
Carl im in the same boat man - last bag was monday and I'm allllllllllllllmost there - the sleep is the roughest part still, legs still feel like they want to go buck wild - but it's gonna pass - I really hope I never feel this way again. One more time is simply not an option :(
 
^
Haha, I've said a variation of those last 2 sentences about 100 times in the last few days. I am so fucking sick of feeling like this and doing this to myself. I don't know how many times I've done this in the last few years, and I really don't think I could put myself through it again.

Sleep has definitely been tough the last few nights. When I do fall asleep for a few hours I wake up covered in sweat with that hot skin feeling. :!

I'm also getting tired of counting out how many hours it's been since I last took anything. Well 10+ hours into day 4 now.


Hope you're feeling better today man! :)
 
Damn, I know this ALL too well, the WD's are what has kept me somewhat clean, at least from junk anyway. Ive been a nod squad member for ten years, and I got on the opiate train a cpl of months ago, and Ive been spike free, but fuck me jesus, I CANT STOP thinkin about it. And I did the same thing, kept a cpl of emergency rigs...just in case.
 
4 DAYS WITH JUST WEED - FUCK YEAH!!!!! =D


I feel pieces of my soul returning. Flashes of energy, excitement, of being human again! The fire still burns inside! <3 :)

REBIRTH!
 
Thanks!

Though many times at this point I've said to myself "Hey! I feel pretty good and I haven't taken any drugs. Imagine how good I'd feel if I did take drugs! This time I'll only use once."


I hope this time it's different.
 
I have been away from my buddy heroin for 5 1/2 yrs now. Been in a clinic ever since. I'm a lifer. I love heroin. Methedone is to get you time to get your problems solved. I just ain't ready to deal with them(problems). probally never will. My wife of 18yrs over dosed day after her birthday . Same day Anna Nichole smith Died. I'll never forget that phone call. We had been seperated. I was not gonna watch her die. She had od'ed on me many times. I wanted to get clean. So I had to leave her. She was my soulmate. We were happly married for 18 yrs. owned our own home. 3 kids.Both had great jobs. We had the life ppl dream of. I was a 12 yr. clean junkie. (I will always be a junkie) But my family was everything. I had done a 4 1/2 yr state prison bid when I was a kid for receiving stolen property. They wanted me for drugs. but this was charge they could get me on. So I know if I ever got caught again, I would be goin away along time.
I straightened out. I worked all the time. I was a tree climber and loved my job. Worked for the biggest tree company in the world . And was respected there as one of the best. That kept me going. They knew NOTHING of my past.Then I got hurt at work. Broke my back. Wheelchairs for a year and any pill I wanted. Oxycontin was new. And Pain Management place I went to told me they were LESS addictive than vicodin!!! 3 years on them put me right back were I was when I went to jail. A JUNKIE!!
Now adays, havn't touched an opiate in 5 1/2 yrs. My new g/f
has had our new baby. Yes 47yrs old and a daddy again. We were trying. But not all is good. I love my baby head to toes. He was 3 monthes premature! He will need care the rest of his life! He's 2 1/2 monthes old now. He came home last week. Problem I'm a 1000 miles away!! I'll contiue my story later. I just can't right now
 
Carl Landrover said:
4 DAYS WITH JUST WEED - FUCK YEAH!!!!! =D


I feel pieces of my soul returning. Flashes of energy, excitement, of being human again! The fire still burns inside! <3 :)

REBIRTH!
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good shit man , I've been blazing like a forest fire since I quit - I know what you mean about the energy and what not - I went from methadone the last 2 years to 7 weeks of w/d's to back on the smack - this is really the first time I've felt like myself in years, it's overwhelming at some points but sooooo refreshing.
 
Funny ya mention that but since ive come off morphine and dilaudid ive been smoking weed like crazy for the past few days. It helps my nerve pain, the dreaded heebie jeebies and just cheers me up in general. Makes me feel more sane in a odd way.

I'll have my morphine script in 5 days tops so it's not bad now at all.
 
drug_wench --- There is nothing wrong with meth. I have been on methadone on and off for a little over 10 years now and I cant say that it is such a horrible medication to be on. A lot of people view methadone as this little piece of liquid magic in a cup. I first got on meth when I was 17 and to be honest , for the next 8 or so years it did nothing for me but keep me from waking up sick and miserable for one reason and one reason only...I WAS STILL SHOOTING UP 150-250 (and every single penny that I somehow managed to save, steal, or con) dollars worth of heroin daily. Methadone is just a tool, the decision to stop using has to come from the individual using, otherwise it's not worth shit, no matter how high the dose is. And no, I dont believe in the whole '' blocking dose'' bullshit. I know if I really want to use, I will do so no matter how high or low my daily dose is. It will just take me a bit more dope to get high. I am currently on 47 mg and I am (hopefully) in the process of slowly detoxing. I will try 5 mg a month until I hit 15-20... Depending on how I feel , I might go a bit slower.
So for everyone considering methadone as a long term treatment... please be honest with yourself!!! Oh, and when they tell you that you HAVE to go up because of dirty tox results, please know that you dont have to unless you decide that upping your dose is in your best interest!
 
Still got a little wheezing and coughing going on, but that's getting better. Nice to be able to breathe again; nose is all clear too! One cool thing about a week of coughing your balls off is that it really tones your upper abs near the diaphragm and your obliques. %)


Can NOT shake these night sweats. :! I think I need to go out for a run and sweat a ton or something (my lungs are still hurtin too much though). Everytime I fall asleep I wake up sweating, it sucks.

Last night I awoke after 2 hours of sleep and my pillow, sheets, and blankets were so soaked that I couldn't lay on them again. I slept on towels after that.
 
iv been useing morphine more and more and im scared for the day i will come in contact with herion one side of me says ahh you wont ever touch that stuff and the other side wants to go start asking random people on the streets for it i feel like im being torn apart bye a drug i havnt evan done yet
 
minus waking up like a fuckin swamp - life's much better, haven't felt any feelings in ages, smokin tons of green still lol, nice to have some emotions other than chasing that fix again.
 
imnakedrightnow said:
iv been useing morphine more and more and im scared for the day i will come in contact with herion one side of me says ahh you wont ever touch that stuff and the other side wants to go start asking random people on the streets for it i feel like im being torn apart bye a drug i havnt evan done yet
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are you physically hooked on morphine ? How do you take it ? If you are already this torn about using I'd suggest staying away, nobody needs a heroin habit in there life, believe that :!
 
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