How's it going Midnight?
I had terrible cravings today! It doesn't help that my drive to school is essentially the same way that me and dopeboy used to go, except I get off exit 60, whereas me and dopeboy would drive down to exit 59 to pickup. Actually where I park for school is about a block away from where we parked when we got anything.
He texted me last night, apologized (he had been a dick last Friday when we (I) last got anything) said he was done for good or at least for a while. I think that was what really triggered the cravings...the thought that now I CAN'T get anything. It was like "I can't get this? Now I MUST have it!"
Didn't get anything though. Still taking subs, trying for a lower dose everyday. Didn't do that today and ended up snorting it, mainly cause I just felt like railing something. Better than heroin I suppose. I think I like sublingual use better...it's been making me feel real good lately....I'm tempted to try and use it for the semester because the focus and energy I get is amazing! %)

On the other hand, I really don't want to be dependent on it and I'm not prescribed it anymore, so my supply is limited. I just don't know when I'd get a few days to feel apathetic, unmotivated, and unfocused.
Good things though:
-My bank account is going up
-My lungs are clearing up, running more again
-I can breathe through my nose and smell things!
-More time since I'm not picking up dope boy and driving to the city
-I've got a better, healthier appetite and my weight is a little more back to normal
-I'm not as pale
-My eyes aren't as dull...them's sparkle! :D (sometimes)
-My lips aren't as chapped/don't get chapped as easily
-Don't have to feel guilty about using
-Don't have to worry about someone finding out I'm using
-Don't have to worry about getting arrested!
Wow, 11 things just off the top of my head. I'm sure I'm forgetting some too!
