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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

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wen and if im ever ready, ill return - for now, im managing very well
but thanks for the concern
there r other ways to stay off the shit so ive learnt
without having to b so totally abstinent u cant even hav a drink at a party :\
im not knocking the program - its bn a saviour getting me thru that first yr and if i ever become a raging junkie and/or meth addict ill return
off me now cos im not having any crisis moments right now - how r the rest of u junkies/ex-junkies going? :)
 
I used to never experience any withdrawals, and I have slowly started to when I don't use. scares me.
 
how often do u use? hav u ever looked at going for help? do u want to stop or at least cut down? sorry all the questions - just interested to know
 
Funny to find this, I was looking for a method to freebase Concerta. I'm going to introduce myself here, as it seems like the best place for me. Sometime about 1986 I was introduced to heroin and have been experienced addiction and PAWS ever since. I lost everything once, very recently and I'm rebuilding. I'm very strong, I believe my wife did not understand her addictions and the marriage failed desperately. I pretty much stopped shooting dope in 1997, but by 2000 Oxycodone had become widely available and I appreciated the comfort of dose control. I don't like the nod....scares me, and it takes enough for me to get there (I know now, measuring in milligrams) to potentially kill me, so I have always been a low dose user. If I can't get high off of 120 mg, it's time to stop.


I was , am, hopefully always will be a well functioning junky. I'm an artist, so in my line of work it is tolerated as long as I never show up plastered (once or twice a year is allowable)

The women I fall for help a lot. I love very straight, organized and intelligent women. I'm a tattooist, so I have issues in my work that can turn into lifestyle issues. Generally everyone around me is aware of what I'm like. I stopped drinking in March 2007 and haven't used cocaine in two years. I do not take benzos. I do not take painkillers with tylenol.

I am sensual and hedonistic, though I have mellowed over the years.
I guess what I'm trying to impart to some of you younger folks is that although addiction is a disease that can end your life prematurely and although you risk causing yourself and others much pain, even though you may never truly break the ties that bind you, you are not a piece of shit. You can have a totally productive life and when you fall down you fucking pick yourself up and keep going.

The ones I feel for most and that sadden me most are the people who are trying to soothe the pain of an abusive childhood ~ they get such a hard start, like they were never meant to live. AND people introduced to dope, coke later in life. They don't know how to cope and blow it or die fast.

You cannot be a mess around your kids. I know a few well-meaning hippies who ruined their children's lives by sharing with them. As wonderful and experience MDMA or LSD may seem, your kids NEED to find out on their own.

There is such a thing as moderation, even for a daily user (which I am not right now) If you can stay away from street drugs, life is easier. I'm the only junkie I'd ever hang out with. Oh my God! the women in my life, I've been blessed.

I like to feel good. It's just taken me a long time to grow tired enough of the consequences. Addiction is a chronic illness and you are not going to get over it no matter how long you go without getting high.

If you can't stop, I'd urge anyone to get an MRI and go to a pain clinic, at least you won't get busted or blow your rent.
 
have you guys been successful in methadone/suboxone maintenance? also what's the cost per month in these programs?

acidbaby said:
If you can't stop, I'd urge anyone to get an MRI and go to a pain clinic, at least you won't get busted or blow your rent.
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how does that work if I don't have an injury or pain but I can't stop?
 
I would rather do dope than be dependent on methadone, though I do have a method of using it that works for me. Suboxone seems like a miracle drug, but I've never been on it long, as the doctors have told me quitting can make you suicidal depressed.

Everyone over 30 will have some spinal crap show up on an MRI. Depends on where you live, in South Florida, there's a pain clinic on every corner. More than liquor stores. I believe you can legally visit 2 doctors at once, but because of the HIPA act, you could visit 10 and not get caught for a long time.
 
I have a frontal lobe more active than most people - I think about the consequences of my actions more than the average Joe, at least I think. Used to get a few pills back in the day, and would take a dose and wait a week before another, so not to develop tolerance. Can't do that anymore, and now I'm dealing with a bitch of a sympathetic response 'cause I'm out of pills. On top of that, I'm studying for a bitch of an exam coming up at 9:30. Cigs, coffee, and chocolate helps.

In the mean time
it's get swole get clean time
concentrate on gettin green time

And as the years go by, they forgot about the small time soldier from the block
 
spaceyourbass said:
I have a frontal lobe more active than most people - I think about the consequences of my actions more than the average Joe, at least I think. Used to get a few pills back in the day, and would take a dose and wait a week before another, so not to develop tolerance. Can't do that anymore, and now I'm dealing with a bitch of a sympathetic response 'cause I'm out of pills.
Click to expand...


God damn. Same here.
 
Ive been feeling really bad lately, ive been off oxy for like a bit less than a week, maybe even a full week and im still feeling the WD's. I decided enough is enough today and called the local drug and alcohol hotline and got an appointment with a doctor so ill be on bupe on monday, im going to ask for suboxone so if I am stupid enough to pick up opiates again its going to suck coz ill have to wait a few days or ill end up in WD's. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a normal doc to get something to help me sleep, im hoping I get some small doses of klonopin or temazepam, not xanax coz ill end up addicted to that coz I have connects for it.

Im so happy to be getting off it, only now that I am off it do I realize what it was doing to me, its really quite disgusting. Im starting to think of how gross drugs really are which is doing wonders for helping me stay off it. Last week sometime I shot like 1 1/2g of meth in a few hours I couldnt believe it and I felt so bad after it not to mention what it would have done to my body. I just cant do it anymore and I know that there is so many better things I could spend money on, I want to go overseas again, I want to buy some turntables and electronic music equipment, theres so much I want to do. I want to look really good again and to have people commenting on how good I look, I already feel alot better and I can see that im starting to look better but there is always more.

I cant wait until tomorrow and monday though, I need something to help with these withdrawals bad. I might go get a DVD soon or something else to helpwith cravings, later im going to have a restavit(doxylamine succinate) and some weed and hopefully that puts me out all night.
 
i guess this is kind of a weird thing to do, but after i got on suboxone, i noticed that i actually was very good at saving money because i would live in squalor and every last penny would go towards dope. now that all that money is piling up in my bank account every month- instead of letting it pile up and start thinking about the fact that "oh 100 dollars wouldnt be much, i can treat myself" or something like that, i opened a brokerage account online, and started investing all my extra money. so after every paycheck almost all the rest of my money on stocks. i started loving the stock market- its actually a very fun hobby as well. now i'm much more financial savvy and invest all my extra money in the stock market. every month i have something to look forward to financially- i find a new stock that i think will be good and i put my money on it. now i have thousands of dollars working for me in the stock market instead of it all going up the black hole in my arm and gone in a few days. i read books about investing and stuff, and its all very interesting as well. so its a new hobby for me and a good healthy thing to do with my money. just a thought and something that worked for me, because its little things like that that make me wanna stay sober :)
 
Subreflex said:
God damn. Same here.
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Yea, its almost like grieving when the DOC runs out.
That is what I avoid. I have always spread my use out sometimes 2 weeks or even longer if I feel my tolerance is growing.
I read some of these posts and feel bad for these people. But I simply do not have WD from opiates.
im not sure about my frontal lobe but I got one hell of a big forehead =D
 
I've shot dope for over 9 years, and while it totally ruined my life, I still miss the feeling. I don't miss going to the ghetto and hustling up money, or pawning all my shit, but I do miss getting high. I didn't shoot dope all year, until I chipped for a little in september. The trouble is just not worth it. Now I stick to poppy tea every now and then. It's not the same, but it keeps me from going back out.
Watch out for Methadone. I was on it on and off for 3 years. I would rather kick dope cold turkey 10 times then Methadone once.
AA really does help. Alcohol effects the same receptors in the brain and the detox is hell, so be careful. Staying sober helps you appreciate life, and those rare times that you luck into a script.
Drugs are one thing, but it takes a junkie to understand one. Best wishes to all. Be well.
 
Stress makes me crave like none other. All I can think about all day at work is opiates. Addiction is strongly environmental and being in a shitty environment makes wish I was high even that much more.
 
heroin highs can be fun.... but i always feel like shit the next day and never want to touch the stuff again.....

i guess im glad i can walk away from a potential opiate habit; but i crumble when it comes to an alcohol habit... :(
 
just a couple of weeks of getting stabilised on valium and a holiday in the country and my oxy cravings r cured....officially.....for now
oh i crave meth instead but im used to that
anyone for a holiday? i suggest the country......unless u find poppies out there :\
 
I went to a bupe doctor today and they really pissed me off and id rather not have to deal with people like that. Ive lapsed on oxy twice in the last week, tonight being one of those times. I plan to stay away after today coz obviously bupe is not going to happen(they wanted to give me .4 of a mg which is pointless IMO) they seem to think that im not addicted after doing oxycontin every day for the last 10 months or so, doing at least 160mg(80mg in 2 doses) for the past few months. There was only one lady there that really felt for me. a lot of this had to do with the fact that im only 18 too. Apparently I have to be so visibly fucked from drugs that I look like im dying to get any help, the last time I went in there I was using IV for only about 2-3 months and they were trying to throw methadone at me??? WTF I dont even want methadone. some doctors are just retarded but im not going to let this set me back.
 
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