Heroin detox at home

[PaintTheTown]

Of course you can't quit without cravings b/c drug addiction isn't just physical it is mental also. As far as Tramadol, that is how I ended up on Methadone. I got pregnant andI tried rehab, but no one wanted the liability of detoxing someone pregnant. I was steered towards the meth clinic. They put me on methadone b/c I was taking 20 tramadol a day. I asked them if I could just taper off, they said it could make me miscarry.....anyway, 10 yrs later and I am still on the shit. Think really hard before you go this route...oh and btw, after being on methadone for so long ppl do start abusing it. Tramadol is as good as Percocet or Vicodin if you take a little more of it.

Agree, at one point I preferred it because it calmed me, help me sleep, and I didn't get that perocet nod. I hated nodding off when I took to much. One of the reasons I refused methadone and sub's is because of what you said here.

 

[HatingThisLife]

This is direct but spot on. Memory can be erased. Only if us addicts could buy a spotless mind when it comes to our addictions. Some people will have cravings for ever due to memory especially durinh stress, sleep deprivation, and cross addiction (sugar, work, caffeine, etc). They are just much less and easily ignored the longer you are sober and by you being aware/avoid your triggers. This is why those people can be sober 20 plus years then relapse. Memory will never allow you to forget how your drug of choice numbed you out to life stress. Its biology and once investigated by any addict and used will lead and keep them sober. There have been many articles about the age of 38 being a magic number for addicts who use for a long time. The age you "grow out" of addiction. You either experiment before this age and stop naturally, get sober at this age from your drugs of choice, or better start fighting hard as hell to get sober after this age because death is very likely due to you not stopping. Its absolutely possible to get sober for the remainder of a persons life. Its also possible to relapse and correct quickly for continued sobriety. This is what makes addiction and sobriety individualized plugs so complex.

38??? Can ypu post some links or recommend some articles? My husband just turned 38 on the 16th. I turn 38 in July. We both jad 3 years clean together - the only time either of us was clean since we were teenagers. I relapsed due to un treated post partum depression and drug him back down with me. We dont wa t ro live this life our kids deswrve Better

 

[Jabberwocky]

how are you doing @strangeaeon?

 

[PaintTheTown]

38??? Can ypu post some links or recommend some articles? My husband just turned 38 on the 16th. I turn 38 in July. We both jad 3 years clean together - the only time either of us was clean since we were teenagers. I relapsed due to un treated post partum depression and drug him back down with me. We dont wa t ro live this life our kids deswrve Better

I'm going to find the actual studies. I read them over twenty years ago. Two articles I remember. Its called aging out. Where people actually "grow out" of addiction. There are hard core addicts that just stop. I did it in my twenties with alcohol after six months of partying. Woke up one day after my last hangover and was like okay no more of this. I cross addicted with opiate pills. Then at 39 just decided I was done one day. Researched and used Kratom taper. Stopped and never looked back. It was a huge gut feeling to stop and I cant barely explain how intense it was and shocked at how calm and sure I was with my decision. Aging out was popular before sub's became big business. It went from a few clinics in each state to dosing clinics, rehabs, and detoxes, yet you can't find a open bed. Aging out is not mentioned, recognized, or encouraged and does not fit big pharma agenda of methadone and suboxone needed possibly for life. Blame that on oxycontin and to many deaths. Don't get me wrong some people benefit from these drugs but addiction creates huge anxiety that is fed by the idea you need subs to get clean or you will always be a addict. Funny thing is big pharmaceutical companies could easily study and approve kratom as a safe for opiate withdrawal. They refuse because subs in big business. They allow aging to even be spoken about in clinics anymore but in the crack era of the 80's it was expected for you to do your 30 days and grow up or age out. It worked for a lot of people and not for others. Usually the ones who checked themselves into rehab.

I had an addiction specialist offer me subs and I am one year clean. This used to be unethical based on the idea that subs should be prescribed for someone in active withdrawal. Physicians can now prescribe subs for anyone who tells them they have cravings under new guidelines. You can be clean 20 years and go get subs. That could been a good and bad thing. Many people on this site alone are trying to get off long tern sub use. One of the very reasons I decline to use them an chose kratom instead. But like I said sub's can be beneficial to some. Each of are bodies, minds, and journey is individualized.
My addiction specialist tried to convince me repeatedly that I needed suboxone. That was very irritated to me since I didn't go to him to take sub's but for therapy to prevent relapse. I chose the therapy and I'm doing fine.

Start with this article. Its from a personal perspective which is good. I will find the exact articles I read years ago. I'm sure they are archived somewhere. Aging out was common knowledge and part of the treatment model before the opiate epidemic. I got absolutely tired of using and was able to get rid of a full bottle of 80 perks without blinking. I tried to quit before but it was never a real feeling of being done. I dont mean that tired feeling you get when you run out of pills and need more. I mean done and I can be in a room full of addicts and not use. This is what aging out feels like. Its strange like you never was an addict before even when you have clear memories of using. The desire is gone.

I have been through the toughest and most traumatic year of my life. Suicide attempt, in ICU, almost died, ptsd activated by abuse and repressed trauma resurfaced, covid, homelessness, my mother passed away, etc. Still remained clean the whole year. Was offered pills many times, changed my number which sucked after having for years but when you get tired you make all the choices needed to be clean. You make them without regret. This is what aging out feels like. You get tired of it and in a way differently then just wanting to be clean. Its a feeling I can't explain but you will know it when your at that point. The study just says out of thousands of addicts studied 38 seemed to be the prime aging out mark. You can do this, it takes work but the further away you get from the last time you used the better. You know this. You have been sober before. Look at your relapse as a stop in your journey, get back on the road sober, and keep driving. Aging out doesn't happen to everyone but it is not required for sobriety. Its just something that happens to some addicts. Some also use well into their 70's or longer or until they die. Always remember its a disease absolutely. It changes the brain but you have to make a lot of choices to use. Therapy and support help a lot. Just as well as subs. Many think subs is a magic cure but unless you treat why you use/used subs is just a bandaid for a wound that won't heal. I chose to let my wound heal out in the air. It hurt more but it worked for me. Dont be ashamed if you need the bandaid but also peek under it and make sure you are healing the wound.

Most people with addiction simply grow out of it: why is this widely denied?

The idea that addiction is typically a chronic, progressive disease that requires treatment is false, the evidence shows.

www.drugfoundation.org.nz

 

[Chem-man]

Strangeaeon, hope you are doing okay today!

I think that is supposed to be like a “be strong” emoji. First time using one.
I’m trying to figure out how to send a gif or like an animated emoji.
Anyway, you can do this!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Henlo. So it's been almost a month since i kicked out my roomie and i thought i would feel terrible afterwards.
Not the case.
My house looks way better without him. He was a messy dude, not to mention other things.
I rarely have any cravings now, But the manic thoughts are back, and thats what made me have a small relapse 3 days ago, i binged on half a g of pure in a few hours, haha. I'm not taking any maintenance drug, quit tramadol and methadone, but since long ago i been prescribed very strong lyricas and seroquel, but the seroquel now just puts me to sleep, so imagine how manic i was before, when i had to take 4x what i was prescribed now. anyway i just take lyricas when i get too nervous or energetic for no reason... obviously i think that sooner than later i will relapse like a boss. i really like to live alone.
@Captain.Heroin

 

[Jabberwocky]

sounds like you're doing really well!! glad you aren't regretting kicking out your housemate. glad you've picked yourself up from your lapse too.

I expected to relapse too, i've had two little lapses but i haven't. i did everything someone in recovery told me to for like 6 months straight cos i was petrified of going back to how i'd been before rehab. put work into your recovery and it will pay off.

 

[Jabberwocky]

sounds like you're doing really well!! glad you aren't regretting kicking out your housemate. glad you've picked yourself up from your lapse too.

I expected to relapse too, i've had two little lapses but i haven't. i did everything someone in recovery told me to for like 6 months straight cos i was petrified of going back to how i'd been before rehab. put work into your recovery and it will pay off.

you seem way more resistant to relapse than i am, you managed to only relapse 3 times in so many years

 

[Jabberwocky]

i don't think i'm more resistant to relapse, i think i put in a fuckton of work.

and also things got so bad for me using that my life was better by life week 3 of rehab, as soon as i laughed for the first time (my dopamine system was fucked so i was a joyless individual) so i was motivated to stay clean when i got out.

i'd lost my job and was gonna lose my home if i didn't go to rehab when i did. i'd been rinsing my parents for money to pay my bills for months, which tbh i didn't care about cos i thought they somehow owed it to me. i was prostituting myself to fund my habit, and i was prepared to do whatever would get me the most money which eventually got degrading and humiliating. the only things i said no to were fucking a dog and eating my own shit. i went through a phase of charging an extra £30 for men to fuck me without a condom cos £30 was 4 items and that's all i cared about. i was manipulating every single person unfortunate enough to care about me to lend me money.

my crack psychosis was getting progressively worse and i thought people in the street were yelling they were gonna kill me. i ran everywhere as fast as i could cos i thought people were chasing me. i lost my shit waiting to score cos i was seeing people watching me. and all the while i was so fucking bored. smoke crack, shoot heroin, sell my body, score, steal food occasionally, on repeat. i would not sleep most nights so time stopped making sense, then eventually i'd fall asleep for days at a time and wake up rattling my back off.

in the week before my parents forced me into rehab i was doing mad speedballs, each time i would tell whoever was cooking them up for me to put more in. eventually a guy gave me a shot and thought i'd overdosed (i thought i was too before i went under). instead of phoning an ambulance he called up his mate to moan about how he wouldn't get to shag me now. i guess i should be grateful he didn't try to while he thought i was dying.

in a way i'm grateful i got addicted to crack cos i'm not sure with heroin my life would ever have got bad enough for recovery to mean so much to me. i was addicted to dark for 6 years and was progressing my career etc just fine, just increased my habit each time i got a payrise. sure it was shit and i hated myself for it, and i tried to quit like a billion times, but it didn't take away every shred of humanity and leave me like a caged animal in the way crack did. i'm not diminishing either your addiction or heroin addiction in general, they are all hell, but each drug has its own 'flavour' of addiction, and somehow my personality is such that i could keep myself functioning on dark but not on light.

so, in a way i think if you haven't got into such a bad way you probably have it harder. but the principles of recovery are the same. work out why you're using, go to meetings, attend therapy, exercise, meditate, read about addiction, fill your time, hang out with people in recovery, journal, get every bit of help you can and take every single advice from people who's recovery you respect. if you do that in a couple of years you'll be able to think for yourself again lol.

----------------------
wanted to also add- heroin was by far the harder of the two for me to give up mentally. i guess it being a much longer habit and having not fucked my life probably made my brain interpret it differently to crack. the vast majority of cravings i've had in recovery were for heroin. on my first lapse i didn't even buy any crack. i was fucking heartbroken when heroin didn't do what i wanted it to, honestly miserable and teary for days. when i got the same result out of every bag, even ones from different people that i knew by the way the powder was was decent, on both my lapses i had to accept that somehow heroin is over for me. it still makes me sad but i guess in a way i hope it'll fuck with my head less, but it was a massive headfuck for 2 years.

 

[Chem-man]

Wow @chinup . That is amazing what you have been through, it makes me sad that you went through all that but also glad that you are helping the rest of us that are at different levels of our own addictions. I’m still on suboxone and I know I have to deal with that someday but I’m afraid to try and taper now since I’ve only been on it a couple of months...

@strangeaeon we are all pulling for you and know you can do it! You’ve already got the roommate gone and that will help a bunch! You’ve got this!

 

[Jabberwocky]

When i dont answer im either in alot of pain or just relapsing like a boss, rn im in alot of pain

 

[Jabberwocky]

sorry to hear that man. i really hope you feel better soon.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i don't think i'm more resistant to relapse, i think i put in a fuckton of work.

and also things got so bad for me using that my life was better by life week 3 of rehab, as soon as i laughed for the first time (my dopamine system was fucked so i was a joyless individual) so i was motivated to stay clean when i got out.

i'd lost my job and was gonna lose my home if i didn't go to rehab when i did. i'd been rinsing my parents for money to pay my bills for months, which tbh i didn't care about cos i thought they somehow owed it to me. i was prostituting myself to fund my habit, and i was prepared to do whatever would get me the most money which eventually got degrading and humiliating. the only things i said no to were fucking a dog and eating my own shit. i went through a phase of charging an extra £30 for men to fuck me without a condom cos £30 was 4 items and that's all i cared about. i was manipulating every single person unfortunate enough to care about me to lend me money.

my crack psychosis was getting progressively worse and i thought people in the street were yelling they were gonna kill me. i ran everywhere as fast as i could cos i thought people were chasing me. i lost my shit waiting to score cos i was seeing people watching me. and all the while i was so fucking bored. smoke crack, shoot heroin, sell my body, score, steal food occasionally, on repeat. i would not sleep most nights so time stopped making sense, then eventually i'd fall asleep for days at a time and wake up rattling my back off.

in the week before my parents forced me into rehab i was doing mad speedballs, each time i would tell whoever was cooking them up for me to put more in. eventually a guy gave me a shot and thought i'd overdosed (i thought i was too before i went under). instead of phoning an ambulance he called up his mate to moan about how he wouldn't get to shag me now. i guess i should be grateful he didn't try to while he thought i was dying.

in a way i'm grateful i got addicted to crack cos i'm not sure with heroin my life would ever have got bad enough for recovery to mean so much to me. i was addicted to dark for 6 years and was progressing my career etc just fine, just increased my habit each time i got a payrise. sure it was shit and i hated myself for it, and i tried to quit like a billion times, but it didn't take away every shred of humanity and leave me like a caged animal in the way crack did. i'm not diminishing either your addiction or heroin addiction in general, they are all hell, but each drug has its own 'flavour' of addiction, and somehow my personality is such that i could keep myself functioning on dark but not on light.

so, in a way i think if you haven't got into such a bad way you probably have it harder. but the principles of recovery are the same. work out why you're using, go to meetings, attend therapy, exercise, meditate, read about addiction, fill your time, hang out with people in recovery, journal, get every bit of help you can and take every single advice from people who's recovery you respect. if you do that in a couple of years you'll be able to think for yourself again lol.

----------------------
wanted to also add- heroin was by far the harder of the two for me to give up mentally. i guess it being a much longer habit and having not fucked my life probably made my brain interpret it differently to crack. the vast majority of cravings i've had in recovery were for heroin. on my first lapse i didn't even buy any crack. i was fucking heartbroken when heroin didn't do what i wanted it to, honestly miserable and teary for days. when i got the same result out of every bag, even ones from different people that i knew by the way the powder was was decent, on both my lapses i had to accept that somehow heroin is over for me. it still makes me sad but i guess in a way i hope it'll fuck with my head less, but it was a massive headfuck for 2 years.

Yoooo
Was NOT expecting that
Craçk is soopa fiendy, when i lived with crackheads we would sneak into whoevers house and pawn they shit including our parents and familys, it still fucking stings cause im not that kind of person at all
Of course we would crave dope of all things it is what numbs us the most, nothing a fat shot cant fix!
What do u mean h did not do whst u wanted it to? Ya know, i keep seeing that the worst someone has had it, the more they care about recovery... Worst thing i can think of happend to me was being homeless for a year in a cold city, i started cooking my own drugs with a little help from my friends before having to fuck or kill them for it

 

[Jabberwocky]

Wow @chinup . That is amazing what you have been through, it makes me sad that you went through all that but also glad that you are helping the rest of us that are at different levels of our own addictions. I’m still on suboxone and I know I have to deal with that someday but I’m afraid to try and taper now since I’ve only been on it a couple of months...

@strangeaeon we are all pulling for you and know you can do it! You’ve already got the roommate gone and that will help a bunch! You’ve got this!

Couple of months lol im deadly afraid of subs why wont you just start lowering your dose? Thats like being on dope haha

 

[HatingThisLife]

I disagree, its not like being on dope. It might not be for everyone and zi have heard without a proper taper plan the withdrawal is much worse but if you a prescribed it it will all you to lead a normal life where you arent spending all your money, worrying constantly about getting sick or where your next fix is coming from. You can build a new life and break all your bad habits and create new healthy habits. It take away almost all your cravings. Over time once you've built a new life with new habits and are ready, your start a proper taper and get down to a very small amount like 1/16 of a strip and its very easy to jump from there without having bad withdrawals. I know many people who have used subs to successfully get and stay clean for years off massive IV heroin habits and then eventually get off the subs and stay clean for years more. But like I said, its not for everyone. But I know girls who were lying cheating stealing prostituting themselves and got into a program and successfully changed their lives with subs.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I just dont like hearing that my friends are on opiates but if thats what u need to not harm urself further then go for it

 

[Jabberwocky]

What do u mean h did not do whst u wanted it to?

i mean that it didn't make me feel remotely good.physically i relaxed but i didn't get anything close to the blissful mental state we all chase. then i just fell asleep for like 24 hours and was mildly rattling for the next week cos of the stupid kindling effect. i asked in the EADD heroin thread if other people who had been on it for a long time then quit for a long time had had similar and they had, so it seems like a thing that happens.

Worst thing i can think of happend to me was being homeless for a year in a cold city, i started cooking my own drugs with a little help from my friends before having to fuck or kill them for it

is that not motivation enough!!?! the threat of being made homeless is what motivated me to go to rehab!! i'm glad you have your own place now, i honestly don't see how its possible to get clean if you're on the streets or in a shelter.

how are you doing today?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Oh man guess imma cry my eyes out if i ever get sober and cant feel dope again, shite... Scary shit...
As dumb as i am, i never knew what a beautiful home i had till i lost it... Living alone now will never compare to it
Ya know... Few days ago, i had a huge motivation because of... Something
That something is now gone
It was nothing special but meant the world to me... I told this to @Chem-man on DMs or whtvr they called... How am i today? I crave dope. Like a motherfucker.

 

[Jabberwocky]

not gonna lie i fucking cried. i felt a desperation i've not felt for a long time.

we all lose things in our addiction. it doesn't help to dwell on it, you will have a beautiful home again, if you put in the work.

i'm sorry that whatever gave you your motivation is gone. there is still a motivation to continue recovery though, because your life will be infintely better without gear. i know that might seem far off and uncertain right now, so its more difficult to take as motivation than something immediate. if you use you will be putting yourself back and putting off the better life that is waiting for you.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I do know that there is actual life ousside of gear, the thing is... I am deadly afraid of it. So much it physically hurts.