Dude, DO NOT make preparing a shot to throw away a habit! That's insane! It took huge willpower to throw it away the first time and I give you serious props for that, but it's like hanging off the precipice of a cliff and managing to pull yourself up so you decide to hang off of it again! I can guarantee if you keep making a hit then it won't be long before you take one!!
Congratulations on the few sober days. Are you in withdrawals? Like
@chinup said, you should do everything in your power to ensure someone isn't blatantly using in front of you. If it's not practical for you to move out or kick him out, then you should tell him what you're trying to do and insist that he uses in private. That's the least the guy could do and I'm dismayed that he hasn't already. How selfish is this asshole?
I agree 100% about how pernicious our memories can be. That's why I think it's helpful to actively remember the consequences of our using. It sucks, but we don't have to put any effort in to remembering the good times on drugs - our brains will do that for us, with or without us trying. We do need to actively remember the suffering that made us want to quit though else we are all too quick to forget. I wrote out exactly how I was feeling on day 5 of quitting last time as well as the consequences using has been having on my life, and read over it when I'm feeling tempted, and it's been a massive help.
That's interesting about age 38. I've read about "aging out" of addiction, but I've always read that it occurs in the mid to late 20s after the brain has matured since the prefrontal cortex will then be fully developed, allowing us to exercise more control over our impulses which would have been far more difficult when our prefrontal cortexes were immature in adolescence - early 20s. Do you have any links about age 38? I'd love to read the reasoning behind it.