Pagey, I read your post twice and these are the things that stand out to me that you could perhaps think about:
I have been having a problem abusing amt...
Abuse means overuse or out of control use. When you are abusing a drug--whether it is heroin or AMT, there is a deep need that is screaming to be addressed. What is the source of the pain you are feeling? Where is the need coming from and why is it not being met? What does the idea of the particular drug offer that leads you to it, even when the need remains?
I really do want to stop...
Trying to honestly sort out the above questions will lead you away from the compulsive aspect of what you are doing to a place of inquiry and exploration.
"I think it is damaging me"..."It has improved my life"
Since your experience contains both of these, it is worth separating them in your mind and addressing each of them. How are they separate but where do they intersect? How has it improved your life? Were you able to get off heroin because of some knowledge you gained or simply because you have replaced that habit with this one?
I'm losing my grip on reality, even while sober...
everything feels disconnected and unreal..I feel disconnected from myself, as if I were in a stranger's body"
I don't think there is only one reality. Maybe you are experiencing a reality that is trying to teach you something that you need to learn? Perhaps it is that you are in fact disconnected from your true and essential self. Perhaps the feeling that you are in a stranger's body is how you actually are living your life. This is important stuff to consider. It does not have to be a negative if you can see what it is shining a spotlight on. The layers of self that we come to depend on as who we are, are often false layers created by what others think, what society has taught us to accept or reject, layers of ego-constrained perceptions that cloud our view of what and who we really are. Maybe the feeling of disconnection is the portal to connection.
...how to recover from...intense tripping...or how to speed up the process
I think if you stop using everything for a while while you concentrate on integrating what this experience has to offer would be the most beneficial for you. The question always has to be, "What is there to be learned in this experience?" Then, rather than trying to grab more and more experiences of leaving your body and your perceived sense of reality, you can stop and explore what it is that you so desperately need to break out of, examine how you have been attempting that (what has worked and what hasn't?) and you can begin to see how you can create the reality that you want.
