have had it with friend with benefits

[MrsGamp]

Good morning (or good evening in your case).

For your own information:

If it's a thread that YOU have started you can delete it yourself when you're ready to do so.

Scroll up to the top of any page of the thread, look on the very far right hand side of the line immediately above the first line of the first post on the page, for a series of three dots and a down arrow. Click on those dots/down arrow and you get a drop down menu. Select "Delete Thread" and job done!

Good luck though. Still rooting for you and holding thumbs that all goes well with you in the future.

Thanks

 

[MrsGamp]

Good luck in your new endeavor MrsGamp, sorry if I offended you but seems like that guy was taking advantage of you and treating you like shit, I'm happy you got a new job and leave that asshole alone, he couldn't even give you a ride to the shelter, and you were on crutches, sounds like a real bum.

I truly wish the best for you and hope you turn your life around and find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

God bless you.

You're a sweetheart. Thanks!

 

[RainbowElf]

You're a sweetheart. Thanks!

Sorry for all the fowl language I used, I just hate seeing people being used, the guy couldn’t even give you a ride to the shelter while you were on crutches, that pissed me off reading that, he’s the real definition of an asshole.

You deserve better, really wishing the best for you MrsGamp.

 

[Iceman1216]

Opinions are like Assholes
everyone has one
Some just Stink worst than others lol lol

You are a very smart women and have seemed to taken the better advise given here, and blow torched the BS!!
Good luck {20 Years is a Very Long time}
So good luck , and Good reddens ( just one more opinion }
Be well

 

[MrsGamp]

Today for the first time in 18 months I seem to be menstruating, and was wondering if this makes
me eligible for sex with Dead Man Walking?

 

[MrsGamp]

Today for the first time in 18 months I seem to be menstruating, and was wondering if this makes
me eligible for sex with Dead Man Walking? (see: I like to think same way about women who aren't fertile anymore.
Why would their value be more than a pocket pussy?")

 

[sdxyln]

also re "sdlyxn" questions:
you have to define what you mean by "fuckworthy".

I want to learn what that means (I'm a guy).

 

[MrsGamp]

I want to learn what that means (I'm a guy).

well as I mentioned in that post - for me it's really important that a guy likes to talk - and listen! And that he's got a similar sense of humour too, I suppose. For example, I am not a fan of incessant pun-based humour, or formal "jokes" that you have to "get"... D'yknow what I mean? There's something aggressive about incessant joke-tellers.
Spontaneous humorous asides always intrigue me though.
For example, I think I fell in love with my ex when I showed him a very pompous text msg from my ex-husband. His comment was "shit, he sounds like he's screaming at you from
a steeple." ❣

 

[Jabberwocky]

You know Ms. Gamp, I've laid next a man I knew was dying if AIDS, and HE talked me down from a very bad LSD experience. I've also played guitar with men with AIDS, who took a break and went into their tent about a yard away to have sex while we melting playing, drinking beer whatever. That was back in the early 80s. So to me sex and relationships are very complicated, which I've found, I could only solve by correcting where my heart lies, its not about too little or too much love, its how I carry it that causes me to understand I need to change my behaviour to align with my love for my loved ones. Right now I find that with my Wife, our Sons, and Our Church.

Edit, the two gentle men having sex I assumed were HIV positive given the time frame. I do believe both the man who talked me down and his boyfriend both died.

 

[sdxyln]

well as I mentioned in that post - for me it's really important that a guy likes to talk - and listen! And that he's got a similar sense of humour too, I suppose. For example, I am not a fan of incessant pun-based humour, or formal "jokes" that you have to "get"... D'yknow what I mean? There's something aggressive about incessant joke-tellers.
Spontaneous humorous asides always intrigue me though.
For example, I think I fell in love with my ex when I showed him a very pompous text msg from my ex-husband. His comment was "shit, he sounds like he's screaming at you from
a steeple." ❣

Some women like to get treated like shit before they can let it in. Thoughts?

 

[RainbowElf]

Takes a good man to be firm, tell it like it is, but to publicly apologize if they feel they've overstepped a mark and were maybe a bit too harsh, albeit with very good intentions. Sometimes tough love is what's needed. Seems to me these "pity parties" are a waste of time (this in no reference to this particular thread).

I know what music you listen to though (username and avatar) (noticed it the other day on another thread but didn't bother to comment at the time). A good part of my soul died when he died in 2010. Has not been a single day (practically) that "something Dio" wasn't being being played or watched religiously in my homes or cars since 1984.

Anyway. Good on you.

Dio was one of the best and though he's not with us any longer, his music will live on forever.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

actually people if anything these days HE is the clinger. I concede it used to be the other way around ... I was in love with him years ago (and years ago we had a lot of fun sex-wise, BOTH of us, if nothing else)
These days though his thing is making me feel sorry for him - he's lonely and needs human contact and can't even masturbate because he has a young child (?!? - never stopped me. Wait until they're soundly asleep and lock your door. Or there's always opportunities afforded by school.

There is absolutely NO situation where you cannot masturbate. WTF is wrong with him..?

 

[MrsGamp]

Yeah

Some women like to get treated like shit before they can let it in. Thoughts?

Yeah I hear you. A lot of ladies are attracted to "bad boys" but I think the aspiration is "I got me a bad boy - but when it comes to me he's really sweet!"
It's a slightly narcissistic fantasy, perhaps analogous to men being interested in seducing women who are "hard to get"?

But re women sometimes getting
hooked in by guys who "treat them like shit" - I think this is just basic reverse psychology that
men are also susceptible
to. Regardless of gender, we all want to be treated well, and if we're not, then that's not
only an insult to our self-esteem, but also very perplexing. "WHY am I
being treated like shit by this
person?" we might wonder. Also, receiving the "Shit Treatment" from a particular person (especially a lover) often feels like a psychic wound that ONLY that person can heal ... by changing, or apologising ... and so the quest begins to elicit non-shitty treatment from the shit-dealer!

Of course this is almost always a futile quest. A person who flagrantly treats you like shit is usually a mind fuck artist, and persisting with that person will only fuck your mind up even more.

A final thought: I think people with robust self-esteem
are much less likely to get entangled with mind fuck artists, because their self-worth doesn't depend entirely on what others thinks about them.

 

[atara]

There is absolutely NO situation where you cannot masturbate. WTF is wrong with him..?

thank you

I think people with robust self-esteem
are much less likely to get entangled with mind fuck artists, because their self-worth doesn't depend entirely on what others thinks about them.

The theory as I understand it is a little different: people with a history of healthy relationships (particularly childhood but not necessarily parental) tend to avoid exploitative relationships because they think it is abnormal, but people with a history of unhealthy relationships (again particularly childhood etc) tend to not only stay in but even find exploitative relationships, not only because they think that's what a relationship is like, but also because it's a situation that they feel they are experienced with and therefore know how to handle. People like doing things they're "good at": that is, things they think they're good at.

In order to establish a social life with primarily healthy relationships it may be necessary to accept the discomfort that usually comes with getting used to new situations, and not only new people but new ways of interacting with people.

And I'm speaking in the abstract here because I have very little ability to tell how much if at all this applies to you in particular.

 

[MrsGamp]

There is absolutely NO situation where you cannot masturbate. WTF is wrong with him..?

I know, it is ludicrous. He really takes the child-centric thing too far. I mean what if he was married? By this logic
married couples who copulate while
kids are asleep are abusive

Yeah
Yeah I hear you. A lot of ladies are attracted to "bad boys" but I think the aspiration is "I got me a bad boy - but when it comes to me he's really sweet!"
It's a slightly narcissistic fantasy, perhaps analogous to men being interested in seducing women who are "hard to get"?

But re women sometimes getting
hooked in by guys who "treat them like shit" - I think this is just basic reverse psychology that
men are also susceptible
to. Regardless of gender, we all want to be treated well, and if we're not, then that's not
only an insult to our self-esteem, but also very perplexing. "WHY am I
being treated like shit by this
person?" we might wonder. Also, receiving the "Shit Treatment" from a particular person (especially a lover) often feels like a psychic wound that ONLY that person can heal ... by changing, or apologising ... and so the quest begins to elicit non-shitty treatment from the shit-dealer!

 

[MrsGamp]

thank you

The theory as I understand it is a little different: people with a history of healthy relationships (particularly childhood but not necessarily parental) tend to avoid exploitative relationships because they think it is abnormal, but people with a history of unhealthy relationships (again particularly childhood etc) tend to not only stay in but even find exploitative relationships, not only because they think that's what a relationship is like, but also because it's a situation that they feel they are experienced with and therefore know how to handle. People like doing things they're "good at": that is, things they think they're good at.

In order to establish a social life with primarily healthy relationships it may be necessary to accept the discomfort that usually comes with getting used to new situations, and not only new people but new ways of interacting with people.

And I'm speaking in the abstract here because I have very little ability to tell how much if at all this applies to you in particular.

In the abstract I would concur - however, I had a pretty good childhood, yet am still readily suckered into dealings with mind fuck artists.

A few times my Mum said she felt guilty for giving me a couple of "bad hidings" when I was about 2. She suffered from neuralgia - VERY
painful, plus she had a new baby to cope with too. My shrink used to say that this very limited early childhood abuse accounted for my dysfunctional "attachment style", but since I can't even remember it, I am not convinced...

 

[LGV9000]

You seem intelligent enough to make some positive changes in your life, starting with getting your computer back and blacklisting that abusive twat.

One day you'll find someone that deserves you. Just don't let the loneliness cloud your judgment.

 

[MrsGamp]

You seem intelligent enough to make some positive changes in your life, starting with getting your computer back and blacklisting that abusive twat.

One day you'll find someone that deserves you. Just don't let the loneliness cloud your judgment.

Thanks for deeming me "intelligent"! But when it comes to emotional IQ I am definitely "challenged"!

 

[LGV9000]

I am as well. I know I gravitate towards garbage which is why I have no friends IRL. When I can trust myself again, I will work on maintaining healthy friendships when I learn how to adapt to boring people. lol

 

[Jabberwocky]

Yeah
Yeah I hear you. A lot of ladies are attracted to "bad boys" but I think the aspiration is "I got me a bad boy - but when it comes to me he's really sweet!"
It's a slightly narcissistic fantasy, perhaps analogous to men being interested in seducing women who are "hard to get"?

But re women sometimes getting
hooked in by guys who "treat them like shit" - I think this is just basic reverse psychology that
men are also susceptible
to. Regardless of gender, we all want to be treated well, and if we're not, then that's not
only an insult to our self-esteem, but also very perplexing. "WHY am I
being treated like shit by this
person?" we might wonder. Also, receiving the "Shit Treatment" from a particular person (especially a lover) often feels like a psychic wound that ONLY that person can heal ... by changing, or apologising ... and so the quest begins to elicit non-shitty treatment from the shit-dealer!

Of course this is almost always a futile quest. A person who flagrantly treats you like shit is usually a mind fuck artist, and persisting with that person will only fuck your mind up even more.

A final thought: I think people with robust self-esteem
are much less likely to get entangled with mind fuck artists, because their self-worth doesn't depend entirely on what others thinks about them.

My Wife is turning into a Karen-Tiger Mom-Sin Nazi. Kinda like that that?