Has Your Lack of Success with the Opposite Sex Contributed to Your Drug Use/Addiction

[whiteroom67]

Actually my past use of MDMA has helped me quite a bit in that area. Now, it's true that some girls won't go anywhere near me because of my druggie status, but there are also others that have liked me precisely because of it, or at least despite of it. As for the other drugs, yeah I don't think they've helped me get more girls.

But after a very bad breakup with a girl I really really loved and who cheated on me, I developed a problem with alcohol. I haven't been drinking for two years now and I'm really glad I managed to quit because I was pathetic for a while.

I'm curious... how did MDMA help you? I like MDMA but it's not something to do all the time... my use is really very limited to once or twice a year really. 3 times max. I can't really see how it would help improve my game any more or less than anything else, and the comedown from frequent use... forget it, I've never experienced it and don't ever want to. I've experienced the suicidal depression from Kratom withdrawal and imagine it to be something akin to that when it is experienced.

 

[Mitchi]

I can't keep cool either, so I just be un-cool. That seems to be working pretty great actually. You know talking makes no sense, looking dumb, etc. Apparently it works. I don't have the ego for the "being cool " stuff. I guess its about going for the line of least resistance

 

[whiteroom67]

I can't keep cool either, so I just be un-cool. That seems to be working pretty great actually. You know talking makes no sense, looking dumb, etc. Apparently it works. I don't have the ego for the "being cool " stuff. I guess its about going for the line of least resistance

I suppose it's really all about being yourself, and being comfortable with who you are, and hence confident.

 

[Mitchi]

Yeah, that's actually a good point

 

[whiteroom67]

Yep, except for me it still doesn't work lol. It just never gets anywhere, they never help move it forward it feels like it's like a one-way street and after awhile I feel like I'm just pushing too much so I back off but they never put in the work themselves. It's like they just like the attention and will flirt and go along with the game of it without ever actually going out, always making excuses or whatever, and like the attention from me "courting" them, or whatever the hell you wanna call it nowadays, and then when I realize and think to myself "gee, it seems like I'm doing all the work and convo initiating and pursuing... let me back off a bit and let them come to me now... let them miss me a bit and then text me first next time or whatever..." it never happens and they just disappear and don't give a shit

 

[aminophilous]

I'm curious... how did MDMA help you? I like MDMA but it's not something to do all the time...

Well, I'll tell you how. In the past I was (like most of us) quite a shy and insecure guy. As we all know, this is not exactly what makes women wet. In my journey of self-discovery MDMA's therapeutic potential has been a tremendous help for me. I became aware of my fears and insecurities which were until then lying dormant in my subconscious, so I didn't even know that I had low self esteem. Once all the darkness came to the surface, largely thanks to MDMA, I was able to face it and eventually overcome it. It's a slow process that doesn't happen overnight, and you need to work with yourself too, it's not enough to just drop MDMA. But it has helped me a lot by bringing me to contact with my feelings, especially with the fact that I was still mourning for the death of my father (I had no idea) and generally I faced my insecurities. Once that happened, I was the kind of guy that a girl can like.

I agree with you that frequent use of MDMA can be detrimental. But generally you can do things to have a better comedown. There are other places to read about it, but generally:
-try to find a source of pure MDMA, not some shit that's cut with speed
-stay hydrated during and after the experience
-make sure that your body doesn't overheat. keep cool in any way you can. when on amps, your mood is tied closely to your body temperature. simple as that.
-take magnesium to combat bruxism
-after the trip ends, take something that helps with the biosynthesis of serotonin, i.e. l-tryptophan or 5-HTP
-also after the trip, replenish your body's vitamins either with vitamin supplements or fruit

If you do all these things, the comedown is hardly noticeable, unless you use it too frequently.

take care of yourself and be safe

 

[Mitchi]

Women are weird like that, they just do what they feel like doing. If you feel like your pushing too much, you are. Your intuition is right. Maybe what you want to do is just look the other way or something. I know it doesn’t make much sense. In a way you know how to do this. When something feels right, it is.

In any case. Why not use the internet? You can flash your money, status and everything I think its easier than out there in the jungle. Too chaotic with people all over

And to question: Yes, Yes it has

 

[The Doc.]

I never tried to go after women as a heroin addict I just went and got an escort once in a while when I finally couldn't get my mind off pussy and wanting to fuck every chick that walks past me.

 

[whiteroom67]

I never tried to go after women as a heroin addict I just went and got an escort once in a while when I finally couldn't get my mind off pussy and wanting to fuck every chick that walks past me.

Never went the escort route... Idk... it never felt quite right to me lol. Probably just bc I've never done it before.

 

[Effect]

It's more like my drug use has, without a doubt, contributed to my lack of success with the opposite sex. So many what ifs... 8)

 

[whiteroom67]

It's more like my drug use has, without a doubt, contributed to my lack of success with the opposite sex. So many what ifs... 8)

Yeah, for some, or many (don't really know the statistics), this definitely is the case. For me, my love/sex life just sucks either way - I just feel like I'm better at trying (not succeeding),, and also care less when I don't succeed when using than when I am not. So, definitely a contributor to addiction in my life. Unfortunately

 

[Jean-Paul]

Now, it's true that some girls won't go anywhere near me because of my druggie status, but there are also others that have liked me precisely because of it, or at least despite of it.

yep.

i don't see why the two have to be at odds with each other. if i'm self medicating a specific problem i'm sure as fuck going to have a better reason than that.
druggies are druggies alone or together.
if anything when i'm alone it matter less what the current state of my chemistry is. more alterations are needed when others become more significant.

 

[The Doc.]

What do you guys think hookers are for? Lonely people who have a hard time going up to girls with confidence.

But I can see how it doesn't seem right I've only been with two girls that I didn't pay for and one was actually an ex-escort who was 19 lol didn't pay though I swear I met her in detox. Or make that 3 mabye 4 I've had a couple swamp donkeys jump my bones while I was drunk on a 26 of tequila lol they were pretty narly and I would like to forget them though haha

 

[ATLL765]

What do you guys think hookers are for? Lonely people who have a hard time going up to girls with confidence.

But I can see how it doesn't seem right I've only been with two girls that I didn't pay for and one was actually an ex-escort who was 19 lol didn't pay though I swear I met her in detox. Or make that 3 mabye 4 I've had a couple swamp donkeys jump my bones while I was drunk on a 26 of tequila lol they were pretty narly and I would like to forget them though haha

To me, there would be far less satisfaction in paying over a real relationship. Personally, I'm not really looking for just sex. Sex is nice and all, but I'm more interested in the whole dating thing. Ya know, like doing stuff, sharing interests, that kind of sappy garbage. At least that's the need I'm attempting to fulfill.

If only I wasn't absolutely terrified of rejection and unknowns, then I might actually get up the nerve to be a bit more forward with women because my current strategy of doing nothing until it's made absolutely clear by the female what her intentions are(as in she's moving in to kiss me kind of clear, lol) is not working. Definitely not getting the kind of female that is relationship-worthy.

This even extends into other parts of my life. I swear it takes me hours and hours to decide whether I'm making the right choice on a $15 item on Amazon. Have to debate over and over and over and over and over whether I should get this one or that one or what if this happens or THAT!! Basically the same thing I do when it comes to thinking about what to do with regard to a female, except with females, I end up doing nothing instead of putting my hand over my eyes and forcing myself to click the buy button.

Just complete indecisiveness fed by the irrational need to play out every possible scenario in my head, which is obviously impossible. So instead, shoot some dope and I'm like sex? women? who needs 'em.

 

[whiteroom67]

Exactly ATLL. I'm the same way when it comes to decision making. I will sit there and think about it forever instead of just actually doing it.

And to me, well the dating thing is nic, but really it's just the difference between sex with feeling and emotion behind it, and just plain physical sex. To me, the former is FAR more satisfying. Even so much to the point where unless she is really good, it's actually harder for me to get off just because there is no emotion behind it.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

yes, when I am high I am more likely to have success but it's still unlikely haha. I have used because I was lonely, it helps on two levels :

1. Numbs me up

2. Makes me more sociable and more able to interact with women (and people in general)

ATLL we aren't so different you and I.

This even extends into other parts of my life. I swear it takes me hours and hours to decide whether I'm making the right choice on a $15 item on Amazon. Have to debate over and over and over and over and over whether I should get this one or that one or what if this happens or THAT!! Basically the same thing I do when it comes to thinking about what to do with regard to a female, except with females, I end up doing nothing instead of putting my hand over my eyes and forcing myself to click the buy button.

Just complete indecisiveness fed by the irrational need to play out every possible scenario in my head, which is obviously impossible.

 

[zzITCHY420zz]

yeah it has for sure. I kept my mind occupied and dstracted through drugs and its caught up with me.

 

[weekend addiction]

They both feed each other and there isn't much of a chicken or an egg.

 

[whiteroom67]

They both feed each other and there isn't much of a chicken or an egg.

I think so actually lol. Although my problems with women started long before I ever started drinking or doing drugs so in my case, there was a first, but I get what you're saying.

 

[adder]

When I was 14, I fell for a girl in my class. I was shy towards girls at that time, although generally I was very talkative and had no problems talking to my peers about stuff unrelated to love and sex. I got myself completely isolated, I started taking DXM, because it felt so refreshing to me to get dissociated, but it felt so dirty and uncomfortable at times. I also started taking benzodiazepines around that time, but then I took codeine for the first time and I remember thinking that it had everything I lacked at that time. It was as refreshing as dissociatives and it was so peaceful. I didn't go to school for 2 months and when I decided to go there again, I was so paranoid that I thought everyone was talking bad stuff about me.

The following years were a nightmare that has sadly shaped much of today's me. I couldn't experience anything in the right way because of my drug use. I can now see that all my relationships when I was deeply addicted were toxic in a way and they didn't wipe out the original problem. I couldn't stop thinking of myself as inferior until I quit methadone a few years ago and then clonazepam last year. I couldn't see myself as a worthy person even though I knew that I was attractive to a lot of girls not only because of my looks, but also because there was something mysterious about my calmness (something that I now use to draw attention of girls that I get attracted to). I couldn't get rid of the fear of rejection, although I was accepted by girls. It was all because opioids and benzodiazepines made me barely able to learn new stuff.

I wasted a lot of time and I felt like a complete wreck numerous times before I eventually managed to start quitting drugs. And it was all that I needed to fix it all that had happened 10 years ago now. I'm slowly becoming a healthy person both emotionally and socially, but I know that I will never wipe out what's deep down there inside me. And it sadly keeps coming back when I get depressed. Luckily now I know that it's just paranoia.