H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Rachel

I've been in hospital. Please take care of yourself. I'm so glad to hear from you Xoxo o

Ditto-
It's really nice to see both of you back here.
Now where's Sasha ?

ABW I seriously hope this clears up or goes into remission and quickly. Your thread is not the same without you, even if you do not feel like posting about yourself the general supervision is appreciated.

Shroomy, are you going to slowly phase in the Oxy or drop the H and and switch immediately ? This has my curiosity piqued as my experience is lacking with the more conservative, responsible doses that you are at. Regardless I hope it's a smooth transition.

Okay, back in to the woodwork.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Jekyl, interesting question you got me thinking about my future. What I'm going to do is start taking my oxycodone exactly as prescribed (I've had a script for years) when I get it this week. I am going to take half of it every 12 hours and the other half 12 hours later though... that timing is how I like to take my opiates/opioids when I use them more responsibly. My script is too small for my tolerance, that if I dropped the H right away I'd go into pretty nasty withdrawal and in particular I'd end up with post-acute symptoms (depression, anxiety, insomnia for months) which is what did me in last time. Also, I need to get used to popping pills over sniffing doses which is going to take a while, especially when it comes to mornings, I get a lot of back pain in the morning first thing, and because of the ritual of it. I should be able to drop down to a half-point a day straight away when I start my oxy again though. This will immediately make for a way more affordable habit, and it seems like it might have a nice synergy because that little bit of extended release peaks at 5 hours - just as I'm coming down from the low dose of H, to help boost me through these 12 hour periods. I won't be getting as heavy as a hit but it will be a little more spread out which is good in my mind. The dope hits, the percs extend it, and the extended release carries me through.

I am going to get my heroin dose down as low as I can, probably like 10 milligrams every 12 hours to go with my oxy which would be 10mg ER and about 10mg IR oxy every 12 hours (that will be the same every day, it's just my goal, for now, to take that much). And, since this is a very inexpensive habit compared to now, I will stay here for quite a while. But not nearly as long as I'll be doing say 10mg ER oxy, 10mg IR oxy, and 20mg dope. Percocet starts working in 15 minutes and insufflated heroin peaks by around that time too so it should work out nicely.

I'll get ready to jump off the dope, and to make sure it goes smoothly, I'll have some extra IR oxy on hand. I might raise my oxy dose by say 20 milligrams or so for a little while once the heroin is completely out of my life, because I think that last little bit, saying goodbye to that nice afghan dope, is going to be fucking tough. It might be useful to at least have some of the nicer non-APAP containing oxy around for a little while, so as to not be tempted to get a little dope if I really need a hit.

I'm actually really excited to get my oxy's next week, considering I will be putting them to better use than a few CWE's. For the next 3 days, I'll sniff 50mg doses every 12 hours and get a little high before I switch to this, leaving me with just about a gram of H, a fresh oxy script, and some plans to enjoy the nice summertime. I can start saving on H right away if I use the pills responsibly. I won't be having so much of a high, but I don't think I'll be getting a tad sick or depressed for a few hours before I dose like I have lately. I haven't been using my oxy effectively in this way... I've been doing CWE's and stuff... but my tolerance is low enough that I can do this without fucking with the pills at all and just taking them as they are.

I sense a lot of change coming in my life. I have been unemployed for a while and it has been shit. I have a man who is a team lead in my field helping me out now, and I reworked my resume just enough to feel really confident about it, and his wife is in HR and I talk to her every day. She is giving me all sorts of advice as well as leads, and now that they have gotten to know me better, he is sending my resume out to some of his contacts. I have plans all next week too and I'm feeling overall great.

 

[ShroomySatori]

By the way this deserves a separate post I think - well anyways, I hope you are doing okay ABW and I also hope you get well soon! And it's true we need you as the manager.

Rachel it is always nice to hear from you so you should keep posting here - I think we all feel this way, you are very welcome here.

I hope Sasha is well - I think she is doing great and is just busy and will likely confirm this sometime soon but still...

Also just a special thanks to everyone who is helping each other quit dope or cut back, contributing and talking through stuff. I think this thread is a really great one, so have a nice weekend everyone,

 

[AnnaBanana333]

Yay, Shroomy, it sounds like you're right on track, in so many ways! So excited for you. Life is funny like that, right? When they're shit, everything is shit, and now it's going well, everything is awesome sauce. You deserve some sunshine in your life.

ABW, will be praying for you. I hope they can at least make you comfortable. Are you at least getting a break from your husband? I don't know how you manage to stay so strong with everything you're dealing with, but know we're all thinking of you.

I am SO glad it's Friday. I was planning on switching back to oxycodone in July, as I am supposed to have summer vacation, but I'm a finalist for a new job, which would start July 1. I'm wondering if it makes sense to switch August 1, after I've settled in, and after our big week long trip to the outer banks at the end of July. All of that traveling will wreak havoc on my back. But, then again, this sort of sounds like the addict in me. But I see no reason to push it past August. I can't really keep doing this in my new job (if I get it).

 

[ShroomySatori]

I think I'm just not going to buy anymore heroin. I'm going to taper off with what I have left (a bit less than a gram) and never use it again. If I'm going to quit I may as well quit, and that oxy is honestly looking really appealing to me right now. I just want to use my oxy as prescribed and save a lot of money. It won't even be that long until I feel reasonably normal again.

A total fox stopped by my door today, doing a door to door thing and took my number. She said she'd give me a call tomorrow because I'm interested in their job. I'm also very interested in her. Fuck. I can't even think about her right now. I need to do some yoga and try to calm down (and I don't mean jerk off).

Like I seriously need to calm down because it's honestly just true I fuckign want her bad. We had a really neat little chat and she took my number to call me about the job. I'm just going to ask her out on the phone. May s well, if that's what I want I may as well try an make it happen. And yeah like, use this H keeping it in my mind that I'd like to quit and get back to oxy's! I don't think I'd want o stop once I got start with this cutie though holy fuck...

Can you imagine that though Anna? I was trying really hard to meet someone for the summer you know> I stop looking, start focussing on my career life and she shows up on my doorstep. Mmmm ahem excuse me but it's actually a sexy little thought, and I really did quite think she was hot. We had a nice conversation for a while as well,

I don't even think I'm going to use tomorrow. I'm just more and more sick of this. I hope that chick calls me

 

[TrevorStJohn]

Hi ABW!
I hope you are feeling better!

 

[TrevorStJohn]

Hey Guys,

I checked myself into medical detox for 7 days then went into a short 7 day rehab because I didn't trust myself to be home alone. I have only slept about 9 hours in the past week.....this so sucks.....PS, if anyone has a friend or family member that can watch you like a hawk i suggest this as well. just got home last night. Went straight to IOP which I will attend 5 days a week 3 hours a day, meet addiction therapist once a week and pscologist once a week. I am going to a AA meeting today.....i am just trying to get myself going.
Have a great day everyone.
XO, Trevor ?

 

[losangeles1993]

praying for you mama how are you? I'm bored rn at work lol I'm doing good tho I'm sober on subs tho

 

[ABetterWay]

Praying for all of you.

Ad usual I had to figure it out myself and yes I could have died due to cardiac involvement..

Periodic paralysis. I prayed so hard, do Icheckmyself out and take this into my hands or not? I went home. Read my results,. My potassium was on very low end. Took some. Stated recovering.

Then a lady who didn't know I did that but knew I'd experienced paralysis asked if iit could be PP.....which, surprise surprise, the remedy is.. drumroll.....potassium.

I'm so glad I listened to my gut. First thing I had told them was just bc my electrolytes, look normal doesn't mean they are for ME with EDS and POTS etc.

Tried to LOCK me in psych ward for my "fake" paralysis. Lol. I gave those motherfuckers a piece of my mind.

Will see Dr soon.

Cardiac could have eventually developed into bad arrhythmia and killed me.

Just like I said. Everything I said was right. They wouldn't even visually look at my legs which were paralyzed on andofMore llater xxoxox
Be well and iI llove you guys muah

 

[ABetterWay]

Trevor and LA....special love to you guys. Keep kicking ass xoxox

 

[ABetterWay]

Where is a better way at? She hasn't posted in 10 days. Kind of concerning. Sorry to butt in, but I just spent like 3 hours reading through this whole thread, wanting to see what's happening in the present and she be gone... Anyone pm her? Was her shitty husband off work all last week? She was in day 4 wd's last we heard unless I missed something.

Thank you. He had quit but now drinking again.

 

[AnnaBanana333]

Good luck, Trevor!! We're rooting for you. I think a psychologist makes so much sense. Now that you're clean, it's your head that you'll be fighting. Hang in there!

 

[AnnaBanana333]

And yes, Shroomy, remember what I said about girls? When you're not looking, and happier with yourself, you'll find someone.

 

[TrevorStJohn]

Thanks Anna

 

[stillkickin]

Hey sweetheart, just stopping in to say hi. I saw your posts in my thread and wanted to reciprocate in yours. I'm looking forward to our next lengthy PM exchange or texts. Take care and keep taking care of yourself. It sounds like you are your own primary guardian at this stage in life, so be a damn good one !!!

Much love to you and everyone else!! Quite the little community ITT.

-SK

 

[ShroomySatori]

And yes, Shroomy, remember what I said about girls? When you're not looking, and happier with yourself, you'll find someone.

I forget cause my benzo memory is shot, but it will happen after I find my next career in my technical field happens. I think I agree with you. I need that career work and the money that comes from it, so that I can be self sustaining and have my own pad again but that's just one part.
I already like myself. I like pretty much everything about myself these days. I don't like hardcore panic attacks though oh fuck I do NOT like those one bit. I have worked on confidence building a lot this year too. I know I have a lot of faults but my ex girlfriend just said I'm lucky I'm cute and stayed with me for five years. I have some pretty awesome hobbies too, lots of them I'm pretty useless with chicks but they tend to come around when I get those career jobs, lol. The best part I have like sooo many time-of-your life university friends in this city I'm applying to so I have an amazing social like already set up for when I get there. We have a lot of cute friends too and friendship is a great basis for a relationship. I kind of have a girl in mind and I made plans to see her while I'm visiting even if it's just like work for the future, or to see an old friend.

I'm visiting this week! All week. I'm not bringing any H, I'm taking my oxy as prescribed and sucking it up. There was something in astrology about Saturday night... a trine with my ruling Venus and the lord of the underworld Pluto (very powerful connection, it means that venus and pluto are 120 degrees apart on the zodiac)... and something about astrology that mentioned dreamy music on Tuesday, the night I'm seeing a band I tattooed their emblem on me and they've been on haiitus from like ten years and just got back together so it feels surreal that I'm seeing them. I get the guest room. I just want to get laid in the meantime while I'm waiting/actively trying but it's not a big deal. It's just highly possible since I am single now and this whole week is going to be a lot of fun! Take my mind off withdrawal... it's perfect. Having stuff to do and not just locking yourself away for a mild withdrawal is just great (I'm just switching from heroin to oxys FOR GOODl I'm ready. I prefer the oxy I just need to lower my tolerance and keep it low! I really do love my oxy when my tolerance is low enough for it to work. I can easily get back to that state even if it take few months who cares. I was on heroin for over 6 months this time so I assume it will take some time to adjust to the switch.

- once again I'm doing this FOR GOOD (heroin to oxy - no more heroin ever or there's no point. I don't need to be happier with who I am per se, I have to be happier with my success in the "real world" which I had lost contact with for a while. Was in outer space. For the time being, I am working on flirting with the opposite sex even if it amounts to nothing, I'll be more prepared when the time come since I am not having as much trouble talking to and attractiong women. I'm not even concerned about this anymore. Doesn't stop me from being sexually frustrated though, haha.
This was the thing about Saturday night. This shit is so predictable it's not even funny. This week it was mentioned there would e an argument at 8:30. I could not figure it out, unit a car pulled up for a visit at 8:30 and there was an enormous fucking argument. This shit be real dawg.

Your ruling planet, Venus, trines (one of the easiest, smoothest connections a planet can make) power planet Pluto, which happens to be in fellow Earth sign Capricorn, on June 24. Expect passion! Pluto's vibe is complicated: It's the planet of death, it can be shady, but it's also super sexy. Its energy is hot—while this is likely to transfer to your sex life, the energy could also manifest wherever else you choose! Connections made on June 24 will be meaningful—no small talk!

I'm gonna take a psychedelic this week too... like AL-LAD... short acting, but long enough to get some work done, sleeps great and I'm going all-out haha but yeah. I think psychedelics can throw it in my face why I got to this state of abuse and I am prepared to take that. No more fucking H I'm seriously done screwing myself with it. I have an oxy script! Honestly what am I even thinking.

 

[TrevorStJohn]

Hi All! Day 17 no oxys ! Or any other opiates. I actually slept last night thanks to 200 mg of seroquel from my M.D..
I hope everyone is good . Especially my pal ABW! XO

 

[Sasha88]

Just popping in here & I see that I just can't join in, ye are all so close & I feel like I would be intruding so I don't want to be rude. I wish ye all the best, & A BETTER WAY, wherever you are hun, you seem to be getting quieter in your thread for some reason, please PM me asap, I need someone to build me up badly.

I've been reading this thread since it started & feel like I know ye all so much but it's yer thread/discussion, not my place to just butt in.

Love Rachel

Hi Rachella!
u can join in any time! I kinda vanished for a few weeks but now I'm back. Please feel free to join in any time. This thread is fir everyone.
how are u? Are things any better for u hon? If you feel comfortable doing so, wrote us here... I know you'll get lots of support from
a variety of folks here. You aren't intruding AT ALL. ?
Lwt us know how things are, ok?
sending u good vibes !
sasha

Ditto-
It's really nice to see both of you back here.
Now where's Sasha ?

ABW I seriously hope this clears up or goes into remission and quickly. Your thread is not the same without you, even if you do not feel like posting about yourself the general supervision is appreciated.

Shroomy, are you going to slowly phase in the Oxy or drop the H and and switch immediately ? This has my curiosity piqued as my experience is lacking with the more conservative, responsible doses that you are at. Regardless I hope it's a smooth transition.

Okay, back in to the woodwork.

hi you!! ����Thanks for checking in, buddy! Sorry I vanished from here.
(and thanks Shroomy for letting everyone know im ok. I appreciate it, my friend!! ��).
and I appreciate y'all looking after me. Im
good. Shroomy was right- I was really busy wrapping up my old job... making sure I left everyone as organized as I could before leaving.
I'm in my first day of a week off before I start a new job. All's well... except I finally found a umm... supplier...(I can't remember if I said this before) so now I don't have to be in withdrawal 2 weeks out of the month.

While that's great in some ways, my pill use has obviously gone up. Pills are super expensive , good god! ....especially when I consider how little I pay when I get mine through insurance.... so I gotta try and get my shit together. I don't know how anyone could support a habit like mine or worse without having a script for most of the month.

Been doing some coke too. I use to do it a lot .... I love it so much.... and then I stopped about 5 years ago and use to only allow myself to do it once ever year or two. The past month or two I've done it a few times. I can blaze through a gram in a few hours. So I'm at least going to stop doing that for the foreseeable future. It's dangerous for me to mix that w all the pillls etc... and since I can still control my coke use, I should and I will. So I'm really gonna try to not get any more for at least 6 months or more...

My hope for pills is to cut down again .... this new job I have is at a very prominent company and is a fairly high powered gig. I can't have my pill use fuck that up. I can't be nodding out or be in withdrawal or oversleeping etc. My other job was a breeze so being really high there and spaced out didn't matter cause I knew my job like the back of my hand... and it was pretty slow and easy.
but this new one I think will be the opposite... which is good for me. I need to be busy. It keeps me out of trouble!

Below is what I hope to be my pill schedule over the week to get me ready for my new job:

I'm allowing myself a little fun during this week off w my pills - but not too much... like today (Monday) and tomorrow I'm allowing myself 180mg of oxy .... but then We'd-Fri I'm keeping to my schedule of 120mg/day plus 90mg of embeda (soaked) once a day during those 3 days.
over the weekend I'm going to try to drop to 100mg/day. When I start work, I want my body to be use to 100mg of oxy a day. Id like to drop to 80mg/day but I'm never able to be successful. I "have" to be abke to take 20mg in the morning... 40mg during the day and another 40 after work. That's the lowest I can go and be comfortable. So I guess I'll try to keep it there for now.


i hope everyone is ok. I have to catch up on all the posts. But I'm sending love to all you guys. I love this thread. I think it's amazing.

ABW- I haven't read everything but I saw that u got very sick .... but now you're on the mend? I hope I read that right. I'm sending u healthy vibes to you. Thank god u listened to your instincts. Seriously! I'm so sorry you've been going through such a hard time. I know you already have a lot on your plate. I'm here if you need any extra support! I hope you're able to rest and keep your stress relatively low. Easier said than done.... anyway, I'm thinking of u.

Trevor- wow! You're kicking ass! Big congrats! I'm so proud of you!! Keep on going!!! Wooooo hooooo! ��

ok gotta catch up on everyone else's posts.
be well
Sasha

 

[ABetterWay]

Thank you :-* Been very frightening indeed. Complications and negligence are what almost killed me.

I'm not even remotely kidding. Sorry I'vebeen so quiet all. I have been through hell. I hope no one thinks I'm ungrateful. That was....is, I'm still mending.... Wow.

Overwhelming. I'm so tired. I think in a few days I'll bawl my eyes out in reflection as I tend to soldier through emergencies and only later when safe do I let it out. But I've never been Sri afraid in my life. Not of death necessarily.

Love to all. Shroomy funny you mention astrology. The way shit had been affecting my natal chart I was wondering if something might occur. Also, had had premonition of death. Told people. Edit: this was before Anna had days she felt something was going to happen....why I was quiet about that lol....

Don't care how that sounds. I'm very intuitive.

Whew.

Whew .

Might cry now. Going to eat instead. lol. I could use it

Love you guys. Just as you are. Live the way you want and need to guys. Really. You are worth it.

 

[agarttha]

i've been reading this thread for a while. i'm trying to kick too. gonna try a suboxone taper -- got another thread going. good luck to all of you.

tho srsly, shroomy, stop falling in love with random women and focus on your sobriety. love and addiction do not mix--i know from experience. i'm definitely taking myself out of the game until i get clean. why would i want to subject someone else to the slow motion trainwreck that is my life under addiction?

in a few weeks i'm visiting a girl i had a short fling with not too long ago. guess what? nothing is going to happen--just friendly chat and catching up. because i can't afford to get distracted. i know if i start getting interested i'll be tempted to give my personality a chemical 'boost'. simply not worth it.