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Guilt over using Drugs with Minors

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goodoon

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 6, 2012
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5
The other night I had a party for a few friends over at my student digs. One of these friends brought 2 underage kids round unknown to me. These kids had been supplied acid tabs and we proceeded to smoke. Midway through the evening they revealed that they were underage (15+16). I resolved not to pickup any more weed or to provide any more weed. However I didnt have the courage or the sense to prevent them from rolling more joints. I allowed the 15 year old to procure the spliffs and I participated in the smoking.
Im consumed by guilt by the whole affair. Its left me reeling. How guilty should I feel. I know that there can be no exoneration only learning and eventual redemption through doing the right thing should any similar encounters arise.

Moderator's Note: For the sake of giving this thread a chance at what can be a pretty cool discussion, I wanted to broaden the topic to being-'Using Drugs with Minors/Questionable Decisions Made Under the Influence'. Please DO respond to the OP's individual question as well, but for other who wish to get something off their chest or ask for advice, this can be the thread for that.​
 
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Hmm this thread is sort of all over the place, but I think we can have a good discussion om doing drugs with others who are underage.

Personally, I've never found myself in too many situations where we were doing drugs with underage kids. It would depend upon the drugs we're doing and the age of the kids, I guess... I'd never do dope with a 13 year old, for example.
 
hmm, its their choice.
I'm pretty sure most kids that age know what drugs are and how they affect us.
I wouldn't feel too bad.
Unless they freaked out, overdosed or robbed a bank I wouldn't stress too hard.
Just be more observant in the future
 
My position is of course that
a) I should never have participated in the 2 joints that followed after I discovered their age
b) I should have sent them home

All I can realistically do now is to make sure that should such a situation ever arise again I either leave immediately or if I am the host disband the party. My main question is where on the scale of moral wrongs this falls.

I suppose the fact that I actually made a conscious decision not to roll or secure more weed makes the situation all the more repugnant. I actually came fairly close to picking up. I had to be urged to do so but I ended up taking the "Initiative" and scouting out - to no avail. I would like to think that I would not have picked up and im confident that I would not have.

Were I able to do it again I probably would have refused to smoke or provide any more weed citing the obvious. They want to repeat the experience and naturally i'll set them straight when they do inevitably ask.
 
OP sending them home IMO would have been worse than letting them stay.
when i was a kid i had a lot of big homies who looked after me, they kept me in line, ya know?

i can understand your guilt, but i think you did the right thing. they were probably safer in a house with people there (in case something were to go wrong) were'nt they??

from here on out just pay better attention to who's who.
and don't beat yourself man, we all make mistakes. don't we?
 
LOL

Who the fuck are you to keep kids from having fun? You should be GLAD they are doing it in a safe environment where you can help instead of at some random nightclub or out on the street where they can get hurt or arrested.

News flash: Kids do drugs. When I was 15 I was taking multiple ecstasy pills, after dropping acid and following it up by eating some mushrooms. I did that multiple times, and I turned out just fine. Educate them. Tell them why they maybe shouldn't be doing drugs, but in the end they don't give a FUCK what some random old dude says to them, and they're going to keep using anyways. That's why kicking them out would have done nothing but harm them, they would have found some other place to roll.. at least you let them do it safely.
 
Never looked at it from that angle. You are right. All the same though mate is there really an excuse for me smoking with them.People seem to be confusing the actual narcotics in play. Only weed was available. No alcohol and no harder drugs.

I think its the father in me currently driving me mad with guilt. I see under 18's as potential nephews younger siblings and even children. For me to facilitate and encouage their drug use constitutes a serious crime. I was in a position of responsibility and I fucked up. My intentions were noble but my actions werent
 
Folley said:
LOL

Who the fuck are you to keep kids from having fun? You should be GLAD they are doing it in a safe environment where you can help instead of at some random nightclub or out on the street where they can get hurt or arrested.

News flash: Kids do drugs. When I was 15 I was taking multiple ecstasy pills, after dropping acid and following it up by eating some mushrooms. I did that multiple times, and I turned out just fine. Educate them. Tell them why they maybe shouldn't be doing drugs, but in the end they don't give a FUCK what some random old dude says to them, and they're going to keep using anyways. That's why kicking them out would have done nothing but harm them, they would have found some other place to roll.. at least you let them do it safely.
Click to expand...

+1 this.
 
Folley said:
LOL

Who the fuck are you to keep kids from having fun? You should be GLAD they are doing it in a safe environment where you can help instead of at some random nightclub or out on the street where they can get hurt or arrested.

News flash: Kids do drugs. When I was 15 I was taking multiple ecstasy pills, after dropping acid and following it up by eating some mushrooms. I did that multiple times, and I turned out just fine. Educate them. Tell them why they maybe shouldn't be doing drugs, but in the end they don't give a FUCK what some random old dude says to them, and they're going to keep using anyways. That's why kicking them out would have done nothing but harm them, they would have found some other place to roll.. at least you let them do it safely.
Click to expand...

You missed the point completely! Adults do not consume drugs with minors. Its basic. Its been proven for starters that underage weed use causes developmental damage so on that level alone its inadvisable for youths to smoke in the first place. It was my job to stop all drug use the MOMENT I learned they were underage. Admittedly it destroyed the evening. I think what partly stopped me taking action was my social anxiety. Im not remotely assertive and struggle in social situations. Thats a cop out though. I didnt have to continue smoking.

Are you honestly telling me that youd feel quite happy to smoke weed with 14 year olds as an adult?
 
lol OP im sure most of us here started doing drugs and were even poly users before we hit 18 . How old are you OP??? I was gonna do mushrooms with a 13 year old, im 19 but never got round to it due to getting my self ina bit of trouble. Anyway hes gonna do drugs anyway so why not do them with someone who knows what they are doing, can ensure they have a good time and can keep them safe?? better they do them with me , rather than out in the streets with a bunch of other , young , inexperienced drug users . I see your point though and some drugs i defs would not do with younger people and would try my best to educate them and keep them on the path of responsible drug use
 
Yeah I have to agree with goodoon on this one. As one more familiar with adolescent development -- more familiar, at least, than the average layperson -- well, it's hard for me to reconcile actually sitting down and getting high with underage children.

Yes, they're going to "have fun" and do drugs whenever and wherever, and I'll be the first to admit it; and it's for that reason I believe so strongly in harm reduction. But, at the same time, to actually sit down and do the drugs with them... yeah you can say "they'll do it anyway!" and "at least they'll be safe!" until you're blue in the face, but, it would still sort of make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

You have to understand that, inherently, there is some danger in doing drugs and most especially when the user is underage. I don't want to have any part in that... I'm sorry, but no...
 
i get guilt too whenever that kind of shit happens, but then i realize that when i was younger then them, i was doing twenty times worse shit then they were. having said that i am only 18, but when 15 year olds ask me of i can get acid, it it still feels really weird.
 
When I was growing up I met a kid at school. His dad sold drugs so we would go over there, hang out and buy drugs from this man. The boy was my age-16 and my other friends were 17. He mostly sold pills, like phenobarbitol, seconal, nembutal and tuinol and sometimes weed. He didn't have any qualms about taking our money either. But we get so messed up, combining with liquor and laughed that time I fell down the basement steps on tuinol. Looking back, that was the '70s and drug culture was more relaxed but still he was kind of a jerk.

Big difference what happened with you and these kids. They would have just found someplace else to get high.
 
Hey if it wasn't you it would of been someone else but at least you have some morals.... I really dont know what to say about this because I had always been that underage kid. I always had gotten high with older people.... They would always give me drugs or alcohol. They just didn't care and to be honest I don't expect most addicts to care. Yeah, I sat high in people's house on oxycontin and other sorts of drugs, all the time and yes I did wonder about why an adult would be okay with using with me. However I learned misery loves company (I say misery because we were all fucked up opiate addicts). So at least you care I guess unlike most... all I can say is you live and learn. I don't really think giving rolls ect is bad.... now if it was heroin then it would be a whole different story. Just be careful, the last thing you want is a angry parent finding you lol
 
Its just weed. Did they end up doing the acid? I don't see where that fits in. My mom gave me weed from 14-18 years.

When I saw this I thought it was an entirely different topic I thought you had sex with them, but then I read the actual post..
 
ohshea said:
When I saw this I thought it was an entirely different topic I thought you had sex with them, but then I read the actual post..
Click to expand...

But hey, even if it were sex, it's their choice, right? And they're going to do it anyway, right? And who is OP to keep them from having fun? If it were sex, then shouldn't we be glad that they're having sex in a save environment? And if it weren't sex with OP, then surely it'd be sex with someone else, right? Better it with OP in a save environment than with someone else and in some other environment where they may get hurt... just saying!
 
verso said:
But hey, even if it were sex, it's their choice, right? And they're going to do it anyway, right? And who is OP to keep them from having fun? If it were sex, then shouldn't we be glad that they're having sex in a save environment? And if it weren't sex with OP, then surely it'd be sex with someone else, right? Better it with OP in a save environment than with someone else and in some other environment where they may get hurt... just saying!
Click to expand...

Lololol.
I see what you did there.
 
^^ I don't really have a problem with anything you just said... there's a rather stupid taboo around age. Maturity counts 1000000x more than age ever does.

I mean, in Nevada a 50 year old guy having sex with a 16 year old girl is completely OK.. but one state over and he would be registered as a sex offender. That's pretty damn stupid, if you ask me.



Now obviously, when a 13 year old girl is being lured into sex by some older man that's not OK.. but two consenting teenagers? No problem there. But what about a 16 or 17 year old with a 20+ year old? Things start getting taboo there again..


Like I say, age doesn't matter for shit. It's all about maturity. On a forum where people can't see my face, they assume I'm rather old myself... but I'm only 17, and shit, I bet I could give you a run for you money as far as drug-use-history goes. Not trying to swang my dick with a ruler, but I've certainly done too many drugs as a kid. I wish I had someone smart enough to explain to me why that was wrong and trying to correct it.. instead of just freaking out and wanting to kick me out of their house so I could go get high with some sketchy ass mother fuckers instead
 
goodoon said:
Never looked at it from that angle. You are right. All the same though mate is there really an excuse for me smoking with them.People seem to be confusing the actual narcotics in play. Only weed was available. No alcohol and no harder drugs.

I think its the father in me currently driving me mad with guilt. I see under 18's as potential nephews younger siblings and even children. For me to facilitate and encouage their drug use constitutes a serious crime. I was in a position of responsibility and I fucked up. My intentions were noble but my actions werent
Click to expand...

I think these feelings are just telling you that you're not comfortable with what you did... nobody can say objectively whether its right or wrong, but you obviously have an issue with it, which is fine.

All you can do is make different decisions next time.. this is your brain showing you how it feels about the situation
 
The guilt is less abrasive now - you guys really helped me put shit into perspective. Whole lotta love. My weakness/fondness for weed and my lack of assertion meant that I was morally compromised there's a lesson here for me. What's heartening however is that its shown me a new side to myself. I have a really strong moral code and when its violated I feel profound guilt. I didnt know I was really capable of that kind of guilt since ive never been in a situation which called for that amount of guilt.
In the future when simlar situations arise i'll call on this.
 
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