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Greatest quotes from trips

On a recent shroom trip with my gf and her brother, only me and her were tripping, he was just a little drunk.

Brother: I have to get onto the council about this bloody phone bill
Me: You might want to tell them about your moving walls as well

Me: This bucket is incredibly big in relation to your kitchen

Gf to woman on checkout at Morrisons: Is my face purple?
Woman: No, it's not *looks puzzled*
Gf: Are you sure? He says it is *points to her brother*
Woman: No, it's really not purple. You can trust me!
Gf: Ok....

Turns out, when we looked at the photos the other night, her face actually WAS purple to start with. She goes red easily and I guess she must have been really hot.

Also

Me to gf: Oh god you look like Michael Howard
Brother: Yeah, look at her sat there, losing the election. ELECTION LOSER!

Later, on tv, I saw Michael Howard had resigned. Gf mentioned this and I sat for awhile, her still looking like him, and wondering whether she'd disappear because he'd resigned. Got quite worried.

And finally:

Me: I think I'm going to be sick *sticks head into a bucket* Oh god this bucket is huge
Brother: What's wrong?
Gf: She's going to be sick
Brother: I'll go get my camera!

I thought he was joking.

Brother: *comes back into the kitchen, sits down with a beer and starts taking photos*
Gf: What on earth are you doing?
Brother: Taking photos of her NOT BEING SICK. Hurry up and do it!

This made me giggle like a loon and totally forget about being sick, which was quite ace.
 
HAHA.. i dont remember the fucked up shit i say but.. one time after blazing my jamaican friend started talking in rasta language about god knows what.. it really cracked me up. :D
 
mine comes from this weekend. this guy was giving me a light show w/ glow sticks while i was rolling and all of a sudden i realized that there were bubbles in it and i yelled, " Oh my god! Look at the bubbles! It has bubbles!"
 
To my girlfriend after dropping a very good pill.

Me: I love you more than any oven temperature
G/F: WTF??
Me: Well you have been doing a lot of cooking lately

God knows where i pulled that one from.
 
Me on either Ket or Mushies i cant remember:
'Birds are like humans.... in bird form' :\

Also yesterday me and my mate had a bit of a ket sesh before we went out and he was having trouble finding his keys, Him:
'Just kick stuff until you hear it jingling'
 
" If I could change the channel now I would, But I really dont have the ability to "

A couple weeks ago on A bunch of Valium and Hot Knifed Opium.
 
My buddy kept repeating "man I'm eballs triping" "tripin eballs" and he couldnt control himself. I talked to him the next day and he couldnt hardly remember the 15 min drive that seemed like it took days.
 
So tonight, I was over at my buddy's house with a bunch of people and we end up out in the garage for a fat blunt of chronic. We all ended up getting really high and commenting on how fucked up Victorian-era syphilis would get you, when our high school valedictorian, who just graduated with over a 4.0 asks:

"Didn't President Lincoln die from syphilis?"

We all just stared at him, and informed him that no he had gotten syphilis mixed up John Wilkes Booth, because Lincoln was in fact assassinated. He flipped out and started begging us to promise that we would never tell anyone that he had said that.
 
"Smokeing---Its worth cancer"

i want that on a t shirt

copyright static_mind and static_firefly
 
"A london flat is no place for a panda"
"whats a mobile phone Joniter?"
"WHOA BLACK BETTY"
"the clouds look like guiness"
"is that a reigndeer?"
"tell me james....do you still sleep with a gun under your pillow?"
"orange juice fucks me up!....its the bits"
 
me: "hey T, whats that?" *points at something*
T: "Thats a papiya(sp)?"
me: "o...i thought that was like a giant mango man.."
J: "a MANGO!? are u an IDIOT! *starts laughing hard*"
me: "wait..but like..wut if it wuz a mango man.."
T: *laughing hard* "o geeeeeeez, a mango.....kid, you do too much drugs"
me: *on the floor laughing*

-High off my head on bomb chronic
 
Tripping 24/7!

and than a guy on shrooms
"I think im immune." and than 10 mins later
"What was that green thing" 10 mins later
"dude wheres your face!"
 
we're all beginning to feel our drugs, it's feeling like lift off. my bro is laying still on the bed, everything's quiet and he suddenly remarks:
"I have corn on the cob in my car! save it before it dies!"
 
"DUDE, how did you get in there???"
(asked a few times, perplexedly)

Okay, this was from a phone conversation with my friend on Ambien, and what he was doing was asking me, sincerely, how I got inside his little cellphone. I told him I'd always been there. This made him speculate that maybe I was never real.

edit/update
He just said, genuinely, "Whoa! I can bend in allll theeese different ways!" while moving around.
And he's on DXM, LSD, and weed.
I'm jealous.
 
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man i can't even remember how it was said but it was so hilarious we laughed uncontrolably for like 15 seconds.

we had just smoked a bowl and homeboy was like "damn man where did the rest of my gram go"

other friend who packed the bowl "we smoked it man"

"that's a 1/4 gram bowl ths is like half a gram"

other dude mumbled something and we started laughing. he was tryin to get across that he just overpacked the bowl but we were fucked up.

i dunno it was hilarious at the time but my story sucks :-(
 
My friend and I were tripping on acid and we decided to shoot some heroin. Anyway I nodded out hard while i was shooting up, so did he woke me up like 20 minutes later to discover

"jesus ted! you have a needle still in your arm!" and we both started laughing upcontrollably. I figured since it was still there i would try to shoot again (i didnt even shoot it yet) but nodded off again.

another 15 minutes later "jesus!!" and i realized i was too fucked up to shoot anymore drugs.
 
On way to much ambien my first time taking it.

"Holy shit, I just realised we've been alone the entire time."

said to my girlfriend who was with me all nite and Id been laying in bed with for about an hour; "Hey, uhhh who? who is this? what the fuck!?!? OHHH!!! Its Nicole!!!!
 
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