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Greatest drug induced quotes....Trippin/rollin/stoned/doped/dusted LOL's go here!

My friend smoking a joint, his first time ever smoking weed

"You guys know what a church smells like? Like that churcy smell......Thats what this shit tastes like"
 
13-14 years old my first experience with marijuana

"Am I moving my mouth? You know, as I'm talking." *pinch lips shut, continue to talk* "I can hear myself talking, BUT ARE MY LIPS MOVING??"

and

brother tells me to lay on my back on the sofa, to do a bit of a situp so that i can look down at my own feet and to stretch my legs like you do when you wake up

"WHHHOOOOOAAAAA"
 
DOC-EVERYTHING said:
My friend smoking a joint, his first time ever smoking weed

"You guys know what a church smells like? Like that churcy smell......Thats what this shit tastes like"
Click to expand...

Man we had that church haze going around for a long time a few years back.
 
guy at edc standing on a statue "natalie portman IS god"

on some cid through texts -
"where r u"
"CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT"
"what??"
"im in ur tree"

"why are you walking so far behind"
"oh shit. my bad. i forgot i was with yall" - walking back to the dorms on mescaline.

"i feel like weve been tripping since the 22nd tuesday of last weekend"

classic-
"explaining how i feel is like explaining to a blind person what yellow is"

friend since middle school -
"why do you look so concerned"
"i just cant tell if your hair has always been brown or not??"

my roomate tryin to slang-
"i got that cat piss that makes unicorns fuck"

5 minutes into charlie and the chocolate factory
"HOLY SHIT I JUST FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT"

my friend playing the floor is lava
"do you ever feel like a 12 year old girl trapped in a mans body??"

"WHO ATE MY QUAKES"

"holy shit! since when did justice produce their songs to spongbob?? AND HOW DID WE RANDOMLY PUT THEM TOGETHER AT THIS TIME"

and my favorite:
we told our nervous friend before he took salvia "just whatever you do pick the glitter rainbow unicorn sex path.. not the dead baby kitten burning one"
he takes the hit and falls down then looks up pretty startled
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE UNICORNS AND WHY IS MY BODY SLIDING OFF ITSELF"
 
Friend was stoned:
Dude im skeeted
Me What?
Friend im skeeted like cuzin skeeter
 
First time I got one of my best buds stoned, we were playing Monopoly: Star Wars Edition and I was losing by a small margin when my bud, referred to here as Scott, landed on Chance and was charged a $15 cargo tax. he responded by shouting (in a shitty, privacy-free house at 12:45am) "Cargo Tax? Fuck that and fuck you George Lucas!"
 
On weed and beer:

I was smoking a cigarette outside of a party in the summer, and there were mosquitos biting people.

Me: Dude, the bugs will keep the cigarettes away, don't worry.
 
"what time is it?"
"wait, what time?"
"what is time?"
"what?"

-inner dialogue on LSD

"wait, take 2 steps to the left! you're aura is on the wrong path man, you gotta fix it before the demons come!"

-LSD
 
"thats if we take the helicopter"

Said myself when I was nodding off on mid-conversation with a friend (on oxycodone.) Apparently we were having a normal conversation about something completely different and I started to nod and dream about a helicopter mid-sentence. My friend thought it was pretty hilarious!
 
dokomo said:
"thats if we take the helicopter"

Said myself when I was nodding off on mid-conversation with a friend (on oxycodone.) Apparently we were having a normal conversation about something completely different and I started to nod and dream about a helicopter mid-sentence. My friend thought it was pretty hilarious!
Click to expand...

The helicopter reminded me of one of mine. I was in Albany, wasted going out to the bar. I was on some benzos too, and decided to talk to police. I got arrested when they saw I had a fake I.D. For some reason, they opened my pill bottle of assorted benzos, and found a roach of weed, stomped on the weed, and gave me the script back. In booking, I took the rest of the benzos in case they were to I.D. them, only one was scripted. Some LOL's from that precinct were:

Me: I got dropped off by a helicopter right?

Also, while pulling on my leg that was cuffed to the wall, I said to the officer "hey, you ever see the movie "Saw?"

Edit: figured I would add this now, before I achieve my blackout quest.

High/drunk
Me: Dude, interesting theories are so fucking great!
Friend: dude, you must be pretty baked, you just said interesting theories are so fucking great
Me: yea, well they are
Friend: yea, you're right
 
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When we first started smoking weed and it really hit us hard we smoked a joint before sports class. So for warm up we had to run in circles. My mate flipped the fuck out trying to tell me his theory.

"Yo dude, I think we are running against the Universes rotation, so our particles collide with the rest of the universe, were going to make the whole fucking universe crash dude."

He then to proceeded running the other way around, while our sports teacher was giving him funny looks.
He was SOO into his theory it was kind of creepy
 
lol i came across afew i found interesting..

“I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.” --Bill Clinton ..haha classic

“Today's students can put dope in their veins or hope in their brains. If they can conceive it and believe it, they can achieve it. They must know it is not their aptitude but their attitude that will determine their altitude.”--Jesse Jackson

“Drugs are a bet with your mind.” --Jim Morrison

“I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.” --David Lee Roth

“I've tried everything. I can say to you with confidence, I know a fair amount about LSD. I've never been a social user of any of these things, but my curiosity has carried me into a lot of interesting areas.”--Dan Rather <---- lol i had to put this when i seen who said it

lol thats a few i came across
 
i wonder if there is a funny/fav movie quotes section..but...

"Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons. " -Brian (halfbaked)

had to atleast add this
 
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