No more inauthenticity, no more fake friends, no more lying or hiding.
Doesn't matter what drug, its all a tool to help us hide from our real authentic selves and when it becomes a habit so much time is wasted on it. We have enough masks we have to put on as it is in our modern society and I found that psychoactive substances take this delusion to a whole new level.
The more sober I get the more I am the "real me".
Still take 1mg clonazepam (generic klonopin) three times per day as prescribed for anxiety along with lexapro, still wearing a nicotine patch, still taking 100mg benadryl (diphenhydramine) and a melatonin to sleep. Still smoke the occassional joint, drink the occassional drink, and take the occasional dose of kratom but its less and less time spent intoxicated and more and more time spent sober.
No longer spending all my money on pot and living life in a haze, no more binging on alcohol or kratom for weeks on end, no more Aderal, DXM cough syrup.
Things are going in the right direction.
I reject the label of addict abut I was a person who used lots of substances to cover up reality for too many years.
Its freeing not to feel compelled to chill with annoying "friends" just so I can obtain my weed to remain in a haze all the time or have to go to the ghetto for other things.
Yes everything is gradually becoming more real, more authentic and that is an amazing feeling. Meditation and the aliveness felt in nature have gotten me higher than any drug I've ever done and I've even tried heroin and crack cocaine.
As the Red Hot Chili Peppers sang: The medicated state of mind is overrated!
